<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Falling for the unexpected by diiiangelo</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652811">Falling for the unexpected</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/diiiangelo/pseuds/diiiangelo'>diiiangelo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot of feels, Alternative Universe - No Magic, Anal Sex, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, James Potter is a Good Friend, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mutual Pining, Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Smut, bit of angst, blowjob, wolfstar, wolfstar royal au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:21:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/diiiangelo/pseuds/diiiangelo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sirius Black, prince and heir to the throne of Illéa, turns eighteen years old, it’s time for his Selection, in which he must choose one of 35 young women to get married to and rule the country alongside him.<br/>But what happens when a pair of amber eyes suddenly bumps into his life? Will Sirius be able to live the life he wants to live, or will the walls and rules of royalty stand on his way? What will happen if he finds love in the most unexpected way?</p><p> </p><p>Two people from completely different worlds have their paths crossed and fall in love. Love is strong, but will it be strong enough?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>196</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, guys! This fic is based on The Selection world but you don’t need to have read it to understand this work. All you need to know is that Illéa is organized in a caste system, in which Eight is the lowest and One is the royal family.<br/>I hope you enjoy it!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a cold and rainy Sunday night when Sirius found himself getting dressed to the beginning of the most important time of his entire life. </p><p>   The Selection. The tradition that went deep in his family through generations. It was by the Selection that his father, Orion, had met his mother, Walburga, who was a Two at the time, and they fell in love and got married, living happily with their two sons, Sirius and Regulus. Or, at least, that’s what they wanted people to think. However, Sirius was inclined to believe there wasn’t much love between his parents. </p><p>   Maybe that was the reason why he was so scared. Sirius wanted to be a good king and rule his nation properly, of course, with a good queen alongside him, but he also wanted to fall in love. He wanted to have someone that he could trust and give his whole heart to. And he knew the Selection was his only chance to find that.<br/>
But what happens if he doesn’t?</p><p>   ‘Well,’ he thought. ‘No good will come of thinking like this.’</p><p>   Just as he finished putting his outfit on, there was a knock on the door, and his mother entered the bedroom soon after. Sirius took a deep breath and followed her, no words needed. </p><p>   The raining increased outside, and the sky was filled with dark clouds. It was as if the weather was sensing Sirius’ mood. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice his mother was talking to him until he felt a rather painful pinch on his left arm.</p><p>   “Sirius!”</p><p>   “Pardon, mother. I was distracted.” He answered, head low as if he was afraid she would slap him any second.</p><p>   “Pull yourself together, boy. You know full well that this Selection is an opportunity to get ourselves new alliances with other countries and—“</p><p>   “And find an honorable and noble young woman, I know, I know’” he completed, already sick of having heard that same speech over and over again for the last couple of years. </p><p>   “Don’t interrupt me, you insolent boy!,” she hissed angrily at him. “If only your brother was the older one and the heir...everything would be much easier.”</p><p>   Sirius remained quiet. At this point, he knew better than to try and defend himself. He was already the difficult son, the different one, the disgrace of the Black family. The Selection, as Walburga often said, was the only chance Sirius had of doing something good for them. </p><p>   However, he couldn’t help but agree with her. If Regulus was the heir, everything would be easier. </p><p>   ‘But he isn’t,’ Sirius constantly told himself. ‘I am. And I have to deal with it.’</p><p>   Just as he repeated that to himself, they reached the Great Hall’s doors. This would be the first time Sirius would see the selected women in person. He was almost shaking from nerves, and his hands were all sweaty. </p><p>   “Try not to make a fool out of yourself,” Walburga murmured to him, before turning to the guards and telling them to open the doors. </p><p>   With that excellent encouragement in mind, Sirius stepped into the Great Hall right after his mother, The Queen of Illéa.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>   When Sirius entered the Great Hall, instead of looking over to where his father and his brother already sat, he moved his eyes towards the back of the room, where thirty five young women waited anxiously for his arrival. He also couldn’t help but notice that a bunch of camera men were standing in the corner, and had to fight to supress a grimace. He had forgotten that Illéa Capital Repport, the country’s most famous program, would be encharged of filming their first encounter with the prince. </p><p>   It didn’t take much observation skills to notice that as soon as he stepped into the room, the air around them changed. The conversation immediately died, everyone straighted up their posture and most of the girls either blushed furiously ou started giggling uncontrollably (after all, not only was he the prince, but Sirius was also extremelly handsome). All eyes (and cameras) were on him. </p><p>   Usually, Sirius wouldn’t have minded, as he was already used to the attention that being a prince and future king brought. This time, though, he felt as he suddenly arrived in new and dangerous territory, completely unsure of how to act around so many unknown women that were supposed to pamper and seduce him. The slightest slip would be broadcasted to the entire country. </p><p>   Trying to ignore the panic rising through him, Sirius marched to the center of the room, where McGonagall already stood, waiting for him. </p><p>   Minerva McGonagall was in charge of preparing the selected girls by teaching them etiquettes, dress them properly and accompany them through the entire process, until Sirius chooses “The One”. Minerva usually worked as a housekeeper, and she was in charge of all the other castle’s employees. His parents put her in that position since she was extremelly hard working, strict, and had worked in the castle for most of her life. </p><p>     ‘It was a good decision to put her to take care of all these women,’ Sirius thought, a hint of a smile appearing on his beautiful face. ‘No one sane would risk disobeying Minnie here.’ </p><p>    “Your Highness,” she greeted him with a small bow when he approached. </p><p>    Sirius looked at her and pretended to give a warning look. She knew he hated when people did that. It made him feel different, like he was someone superior than the others (like his mother believed, without a doubt) and somehow unreachable. </p><p>   Unfortunately, though, these formalities could not be thrown aside in moments like this. Minerva only gave him a tiny smile and stepped aside.</p><p>    “Good evening, ladies,” Sirius finally greeted the girls, trying to sound like he wasn’t freaking out and risking a rather seductive smile. It must have worked, ‘cause most of them started giggling again. “I would like to welcome you all to the palace, we really hope you have a wonderful stay here, no matter how long will it be.” </p><p>    ‘God, I really hope this doesn’t take too long,’ the thought crossed his mind, but he dismisses it quickly. </p><p>    “As I assume you are all hungry, as I sure am,” Sirius continued with a short laugh, earning some in return, “I thought we could all enjoy our meals, and then I’ll call each one of you privately to have a brief talk and introduce each other, alright?” </p><p>    As he finished his short speech, Sirius politely smiled to them and turned his back, walking towards his seat on the front of the Great Hall. </p><p>    “You did good,” Orion told him dryly once he took his seat, then resumed on his chat with Regulus about politics. </p><p>    “Nothing more than his obligation,” Walburga murmured, not even bothering to look at his direction. </p><p>    Sirius sighed. Nothing he did could ever please this woman. </p><p>    Dinner passed in a blink of an eye, or at least that was what it felt like to Sirius. Sooner than he would have liked, he found himself sitting in one of two seats placed at a corner, far enough so that no one would listen to their conversation. He took a list from Minerva and took a quick look at all the thirty five names. </p><p>    ‘I am never gonna remember all of them,’ was everything he could think of. Well, almost everything. Sirius was still kind of outraged, although not really surprised, that despite Illéa having 8 castes, there wasn’t one single woman bellow caste Four. There were a lot from Two and Three and a couple from Four. All wishing to become One. </p><p>    Finally, he called the first name on the list. Marlene McKinnon, a Two.</p><p>    A beautiful blond woman made her way towards him. She was tall, her skin was shining beneath the light, and she wore a long purple dress that accentuated her curves. She walked with so much confidence and elegance that Sirius found it likely that a bunch of those girls were already intimidated by her. </p><p>    Sirius learned that Marlene was the daughter of an extremely rich, noble widowed, so she was the heir to a big fortune and lots of properties. He listened to her with a smile and made sure he looked like he was enjoying the conversation, although he absolutely was not. Actually, we was getting quite bored. </p><p>    The time passed as Sirius talked to the girls. Mary McDonald, Dorcas Meadowes, Alice Fortescue, and the list went on. They each stayed for about five to ten minutes, and then he would end the interaction politely and call the next one. By the time he was done, Sirius was exausted. </p><p>   He quickly made his way to his chambers, longing for some rest after that tiring night. However, as he reached the room and opened the door, he found someone was already there.</p><p>   “Hey, big brother!”</p><p>   Regulus was comfortably spread out in Sirius’ bed, looking completely relaxed and flipping through some politics books that Sirius kept on his night stand. </p><p>   “Jesus, Regulus!” Sirius huffed, annoyed, “How long have you been here?”</p><p>    “Oooh, someone’s in a mood?” Regulus smirked jokingly, “I was waiting for you to finish your interviews.”</p><p>    “They weren’t interviews,” Sirius answered his brother with an eye roll. “We were getting to know each other.”</p><p>    “Yeah yeah, whatever,” Regulus dismissed his explanation with a wave of his hand, and put the books aside, turning to take a proper look at his brother. “So...did you like any of them?”</p><p>    Sirius snorted knowingly. His brother was quite predictable sometimes.</p><p>    “I’m sure you did, huh, Reg?”</p><p>    “Oh yeah. There are some fine women here.” A dreamy look crossed Regulus’ face as he probably pictured the girls in his head. “Who knows, when the Selection is over, maybe I can have a shot with one of them.”</p><p>    “Sod off! You’ve only just turned sixteen!” </p><p>    “Oh yeah, ‘cause eighteen is much older, right?” Regulus retorted, a playful glint in his eyes.</p><p>    Sirius had to smile at that, and moved to sit next to his brother.</p><p>    A few moments passed in a peaceful silence, when both of them just stared at the ceiling in deep thought. Finally, Regulus broke the silence.</p><p>    “You know,” he started, “you really should try to take is seriously, no pun intended,” and added a small grin to the end of his advice.</p><p>    Sirius let out a small laugh, though it was soon followed by a sigh. “I know...”</p><p>    “It will be alright,” Regulus patted him on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It didn’t work, but Sirius appreciated the gesture anyway. “You’ll see.” </p><p>   And with that, Sirius finally found himself alone, like he had been wanting to be all night. However, the minutes passed and he realized that, despite being tired, he was just too agitated to sleep. The minutes turned into an hour, and he finally gave up. Not even bothering to look more presentable, he left the room and decided to take a little walk around the palace. </p><p>    Just as he was turning into another corridor, though, with his thoughts making a mess of his head, he felt himself slam into something with enough force to send him backwards, and he almost stumbled to the ground. </p><p>   Only that something was actually a someone. </p><p>   “Oh my God! I am so sorry!” A slightly panicked voice brought him back to reality, and he looked up to find a pair of amber eyes staring back at him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First Meetings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I’d be greatful for any feedback, good or bad! :) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius didn’t know what it was that made him so mesmerized by that man. Maybe it was the way that his eyes were shining at the dim light. Or maybe the fact that faint small scars crossed his young face (the boy couldn’t possibly be much older than him). It could also have been the way his sandy blond curly hair looked so soft, making Sirius wonder what it would feel like between his fingers. </p><p>   He didn’t have time to think about that, though, because just seconds after they made eye contact, he saw the man’s expression turn into one of complete terror. </p><p>   “Your Highness! My deepest apologies!” he started rambling even before Sirius could open his mouth to say anything, “I was coming from the gardens and thought no one would be here at this hour so I got distracted and...”</p><p>   “Hey, it’s okay,” Sirius told him in what he hoped was a soothing tone, showing him a small smile, “I wasn’t paying attention, either, to be honest. Really, don’t worry.”</p><p>   “I apologize anyway, Your Highness.” The man bowed his head a little at that, but not before Sirius could catch a glimpse of a faint blush across his cheeks. </p><p>   It was cute.</p><p>   ‘Wait, cute???’ Sirius scolded his own thoughts, a little confused. ‘Did I just think he was cute???’</p><p>   His attention, however, was fortunately diverted from that topic as he caught the man shifting from one foot to the other, clearly nervous. Sirius sympathized with him immediately, so he tried to come up with something to say and lighten the mood. It wasn’t difficult at all, as in that moment he noticed what the boy was holding.</p><p>   “Oh my God!,” he exclaimed, excitedly, “You’re reading Wuthering Heights?? I love this book! Tell me, isn’t Emily Brontë a genius?” </p><p>    However, much to Sirius’ surprise, the boy looked kind of embarrassed. </p><p>    “I wasn’t...uhh...I wasn’t exactly reading it.” </p><p>    “I’m sorry?” Sirius asked, extremely confused.</p><p>    At that point, the man in front of him looked even more uncomfortable. Sirius was starting to feel bad, but he really didn’t get what he was missing out.</p><p>   “I...umm...,” he tried to formulate a sentence, cheeks throughly red as he looked down at his feet, “I was trying to.” </p><p>   “What do you mean you were...Oh!,” comprehension finally dig into Sirius’ brain, and he immediately felt terrible. ‘The boy can’t read.’</p><p>   “I am really sorry!,” Sirius quickly apologized, truly ashamed of his previous reaction, “I didn’t mean to be so rude.” </p><p>   The man’s eyes widened and his mouth opened comically as if something out of that world had happened. </p><p>   ‘For him, it probably was,’ Sirius thought sadly, ‘I guess most royal members don’t treat other people very nicely.’ </p><p>   He didn’t give the other any time to answer, though, as he quickly asked for his name. </p><p>   “My name is Remus, Your Highness. Remus Lupin.” He spoke in a quite careful voice, and Sirius hoped he didn’t think he was in trouble.</p><p>   “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Remus.” He greeted, wanting the boy to feel at ease around him. “Are you new working here? I’ve never seen you around before.”</p><p>   “Oh, yes, Your Highness. I arrived earlier this morning, to start working at the kitchens,” Remus told him, seeming a bit more calm, which in turn also calmed Sirius. “The Queen hired more staff because of the Selection. A lot of women to please.” He continued, with a tentative smile on his face. </p><p>   Sirius surprised even himself as he began laughing, a real, loud, contagious laugh. ‘The first one in a long time,’ he thought later. </p><p>   Remus’ smiled a little at that, but he didn’t dare to say anything more. He was obviously still scared and unsure of how to act. </p><p>   “Well, Remus, I think we must go to bed. Long days ahead of us, right?”</p><p>   “Of course, Your Highness,” answered him quickly, “I am sorry I took too much of your time, sir. Excuse me.” </p><p>   He bowed once more, more urgently this time, and turned to leave.</p><p>   Sirius watched his retreating figure for a moment and, before he even realized what he was doing, called him back.</p><p>   “Remus, wait!”</p><p>   He saw Remus’ back tense as he stopped on his track and looked carefully at Sirius again. </p><p>   “Yes, Your Highness?” </p><p>   “I could teach you,” Sirius told him, suddenly feeling inexplicably shy, “You know, if you wanted.”</p><p>    A small frown appeared on Remus’ face as he tried to understand what Sirius meant. “Teach me, sir?” </p><p>   “To read.” He explained.</p><p>   “Oh! Uhh...,” the man trailed off, a little unsure of what to say, “I don’t think that would be appropriate, Your Highness.” </p><p>   “Why not? I’m offering you.” Sirius replied, trying to hide the fact that he was a little hurt.</p><p>   “I’m just a servant, Your Highness. If anyone else saw it...” He didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to. Sirius knew exactly what the end would be. </p><p>   If Sirius were caught being friends with a member of the staff, his parents would flip off. Of course, Sirius was close friends with James, but he was a guard and a Two, so they let it slide. But a servant...</p><p>    Sirius knew he could handle his parents,  but he also knew he had no control on what they would do to Remus. Remus surely knew that too. </p><p>    Then, a crazy thought crossed Sirius’ mind and, once again, his mouth moved without his permission and threw the words out.</p><p>    “You could come to my chambers.”</p><p>    If Sirius thought Remus looked shocked before, that’s because he hadn’t seen his face after that moment. He looked speechless. </p><p>    “I mean, not during the day of course. You could pass by tomorrow night, at this same time. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep early anyway.” He tried to amend the situation without looking like an idiot, which he thought he failed completely. </p><p>   Just as he was about to retreat on his offer, embarrassed, Remus surprised him greatly. </p><p>   “Alright,” he said, giving a small nod in Sirius’ direction. “Only if you’re sure, Your Highness.” </p><p>   Sirius smiled, definitely relieved, before regaining his composure. “Great! I assume you know where my room is?” </p><p>   “I do, yes, Your Highness.” Remus confirmed his suspicions, “All the staff knows.” </p><p>   “Good, then, umm...I guess I’ll be going then.” Sirius trailed off, unsure of what to say next.</p><p>   “Yes, of course, Your Highness.” Remus bowed for the third time since their meeting, “Have a good night.”</p><p>   “You too, Remus.”</p><p>   And with that, Sirius turned on his heels and made his way back to his bedroom, having already forgotten about his plans to walk around the palace. </p><p>   He wasn’t sure why he had offered the man to teach him how to read and come to his private space. ‘I guess it’s the loneliness,’ he though, sighing as he laid down on his bed. </p><p>   Sure, he had James, but a guard worked over night as well and he couldn’t use all of his free time to attend to Sirius’ lack of affection. And Regulus, as much as he loved him, was always busy helping their father. </p><p>   However, Sirius still had the feeling that it also had some other reason, but he put that thought in the back of his mind as he drifted of to sleep. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>   While Remus walked back to the servant’s area, his brain struggled to process what had just happened. </p><p>   ‘Congratulations, Remus! Your first day here and you’re already bumping into the prince like an idiot and then accepting his invitation to his chambers.’ He thought angrily. ‘I must have gone mental.’</p><p>   To his defense, though, the prince had caught him completely of guard. Remus already knew how handsome he was, of course, anyone with eyes could see that. </p><p>   But in person... it was a whole new level of gorgeous. His long black hair fell in small waves on his shoulders, his skin looked incredibly smooth, and his body...Well, it was hard for a eighteen year old gay man to resist such beauty.        </p><p>   Although his looks definitely didn’t help,<br/>
that wasn’t the main reason why Remus was thrown out of balance. It was his kindness. </p><p>  When Remus accepted the job, he was told by several people that the Queen and the King were not known for being particularly good with their employees. He knew that the best way to maintain his position in the palace without any trouble was to never get on their way.</p><p>  That being said, Remus never expected to be treated so nicely by any member of that family. Surely, some part of him was still worried that was some kind of sick joke that would get him in big trouble later but, for some reason, he doubted that.</p><p>   That’s why he suddenly found himself accepting the kind invitation, despite being a completely crazy one. </p><p>  ‘Oh, what have I done?’</p><p>  Just as Remus reached his bedroom (it was a really small space with nothing more than a bed, a nightstand, a bathroom and a little balcony, but it was more than enough for him), he heard the sound of a door being opened, and looked to his right to find no one other than Lily staring at him. </p><p>  “Hey, Remus, you alright?” she asked worriedly, face tired, “I woke up and heard some steps so I decided to come and check.”</p><p>  “Hey, Lily,” he answered her with a tired but polite smile, “I am fine, really, thank you. Just couldn’t sleep, so I decided to take a quick walk.”</p><p>   “Oh okay then,” she nodded understandably, though her eyes still had a glimpse of worry in them, “If you ever need anything, Remus, you know where to find me.” </p><p>  “Thank you, Lily,” he spoke with gratitude, truly thankful for having already found someone who he could count on, even if they had just met, “I really appreciate it.”</p><p>  She gave him a small smile before closing the door, leaving Remus to his thoughts again.</p><p>  He still had them spiriling on his mind when he closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Wuthering Heights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>one more chapter guys! hope you like it!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, Sirius marched into the Great Hall with a small piece of paper in his hand, containing the names of eight of the women. What he would do next was the beginning of one of the things that Sirius most dreaded about the Selection. Sending them back home. </p><p>  Sirius had promised himself, in his eighteenth birthday, that he would try his hardest to stay true to his heart. He didn’t want to marry someone based only on status, connections and money. </p><p>  So what was the point on postponing the inevitable? It would only cause more pain, for him and for them. </p><p>  The guards opened the double doors and reveled the 35 women, each sitting in their respective sit, all carefully chosen by McGonagall. Sirius had had his breakfast in his bedroom and arrived quite late, so everyone had already finished eating, waiting only for the prince’s arrival. </p><p>  “Good morning, ladies,” he greeted them as he entered, receiving, not surprisingly, lots of shy smiles and low giggles. </p><p>  “Good morning, Your Highness,” all of them echoed back in sync, slightly bowing their heads.</p><p>   Sirius took a deep breath to calm himself down before he started speaking. He instantly felt better as he spotted James in the corner, alongside some other guards. </p><p>   “Ladies, I am gonna call a few of your names now, and if I call yours, I ask you to please stay on your sits so I could talk to you. The rest can follow Minerva to the Ladies’ Room.”</p><p>   He carefully unrolled the paper and read the names out loud. All the other girls stood up to go after Minerva, pausing shortly to make a reverence at Sirius before leaving. He tried not to feel terrible as he saw the happy faces of the girls he called. They probably thought that he liked them, when it was quite the opposite. </p><p>   The next few minutes were terrible. Sirius witnessed the emotions cross the women’s faces as he spoke and gave them the news, as politely as he could. Excitement turned into confusion, then into sadness and, in some of them, into anger.</p><p>   There were tears and hearts broken, and Sirius felt like he was the world’s biggest monster, but at least it was over. He knew he did what he had to do. </p><p>   However, his relief didn’t last very long. Two guards escorted the women back to their rooms, where they would prepare themselves and wait for the carriage that would send them back home. Just as they left the Great Hall and Sirius felt like he could finally breath again, he found himself almost falling onto his back with the force of his mothers’s hand colliding with his face. </p><p>   “Are you out of your mind?!” she yelled at him, face masked with fury as she stared at her son.</p><p>   “It seems that is you that is out of your mind, mother,” he raised his voice slightly, not really wanting to upset her further but finding it impossible to keep quiet, “What the buggering hell was that for?!” </p><p>  “For sending them away on the second day!” she screamed again, and Sirius swore he could almost see smoke coming out of her ears like a cartoon.</p><p>  “What is the big deal about that?” he retorted, “What is the point of them staying if there is no future for them here?” </p><p>  “You can’t possibly know that yet!” she spit, fuming.</p><p>   “Yes, I can, and I do,” Sirius spoke firmly, tilting his chin to stand even taller, towering above his mother, “I don’t imagine myself with any of those women.”</p><p>   Walburga stared into his eyes quietly for a few moments, hers the same grey as his, but at the same time completely different. After a few seconds that felt like hours passed by, she took one step forward, leaving almost no space between them. </p><p>   “I couldn’t care less if you don’t want to be with any of these women,” she said in a cruelly cold voice, “I won’t let you disgrace this family. You will do the right thing, or I swear to God I will make you do it.”</p><p>  Sirius felt as if someone injected ice inside his veins, all the warmth leaving his body and being replaced by a terrible sensation of emptiness. </p><p>  He didn’t even notice how much time has passed and what was happening around him until he felt a familiar touch on his shoulder. </p><p>  “Sirius? Are you okay?” he looked to his left to find James standing there, worriedly staring at him. </p><p>  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Sirius tried to shrug it off, but he knew he couldn’t convince James. Sometimes he thought the man knew Sirius more than Sirius knew himself. </p><p>  He let his mind trail of for a moment, remembering how he first met James. They were both eleven, and Sirius didn’t have any friends. James’ father worked at the palace as a guard, and James lived with his mother in a town near the palace. </p><p>  When his mother passed, he came to live with his father on the palace, and that’s how he met Sirius. They basically grew up together, and both of them considered themselves brothers in everything but blood. Finally, in James’ seventeenth birthday, he was invited to join the guard, which he gladly accepted.</p><p>  “Sirius?”</p><p>  Sirius was startled back to reality by James’ voice calling him again, and finally caved. </p><p>  “Okay, I am not exactly fine.” He told him, seeming reluctant to talk. </p><p>  James’ eyes softened even more at that, and he pulled Sirius into a comforting hug.</p><p>   “It’s okay, Sirius. You know you can talk to me, right?” He asked as they embraced.</p><p>   Sirius sighed, sounding miserable, and James tightened his hold on him.</p><p>   “I know, Jamie. It’s just...God, she hates me,” he choked, fighting back his tears, “Why does my own mother hate me?”</p><p>   James took a steep back to look into his best friend’s eyes, and Sirius was surprised to see that they were a bit watery as well. </p><p>   “Listen to me, Sirius,” he said firmly, grasping both of his shoulders, “Do not think, for even one second, that this is your fault, do you understand me?”</p><p>   Sirius tried to answer him, tried to say something, but he found he just couldn’t. James seemed to understand it, though, as he simply embraced him once again. </p><p>   They stayed quiet for a few minutes until James stepped back, a rather mischievous grin on his face. </p><p>   “So,” he started, clearly attempting to cheer Sirius up a bit, “did you like any of them, at least?”</p><p>   Sirius laughed loudly, and he saw James’ grin turn into a triumphant one. </p><p>   “Piss off, you prick!” he shoved him friendly, still laughing, “Are you trying to steel one of them to yourself too, like Regulus?”</p><p>  “Oh, my friend,” James’ face gained a dreamy look, his voice soft, and Sirius cursed himself quietly for bringing the subject up, “You know I only have eyes for Lily.”</p><p>  Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically. ‘Now he won’t stop talking about it.’</p><p>  “Any progress lately, my dearest friend?” he teased him anyway. </p><p>  James sighed rather loudly at the question, which only made the situation funnier in Sirius’ eyes.</p><p>   “Not yet, no. But one day she will realize that I’m the love of her life.” He spoke confidentially, and Sirius couldn’t help but hope that he was right. His friend’s happiness was just as important to him as his own.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>  Sirius woke up with a jump at the knocks on his door, shocked to see that his clock was already marking midnight.</p><p>  The selected women were still preparing themselves and taking some lessons, so Sirius wasn’t free to start scheduling his dates until the next day. </p><p>  Therefore, he spent the day trying to catch up on his studies, which he’d been neglecting for the past few weeks, his mind too full to really focus on anything. He wasn’t surprised at all that ended up falling asleep.</p><p>  Quickly straightening his hair and making sure he wasn’t looking utterly terrible, Sirius made his way to the door and took a breath before opening it.</p><p>  There Remus was, looking shy and insecure, no longer on his uniform and holding the book safely in his hands. Sirius didn’t know why, but he felt a funny new feeling in his stomach at the sight of him. </p><p>  ‘Weird,’ he thought.</p><p>  “Good evening, Your Highness,” Remus greeted reverently from where he stood on the doorway, not quite meeting Sirius’ eyes.</p><p>  “Remus, there you are!” Sirius answered the nervous boy with a grin, standing aside so he could enter. “Please, come in!”</p><p>  “Thank you, Your Highness.”</p><p>  As soon as Remus stepped into his bedroom, Sirius could see his eyes widen and his mouth open considerably. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the giant room, looking around in awe, like he was staring at a whole new world. </p><p>  Sirius saw his eyes trail the king side bed leaning against the wall, the piano posing in the corner and the magnificent candle holder hanging from the golden ceiling. Meanwhile, Sirius found himself unable to let his gaze slip from the man.</p><p>  “Wow, this is amazing...” Remus whispered to himself, seeming to have forgotten about Sirius’ presence.</p><p>  “I’m glad you like it,” Sirius answered behind him, a soft smile on his pretty face.</p><p>  Remus brutally turned around, blushing scarlet, and Sirius hold a chuckle as he thought he’d never seen someone look so red.</p><p> And there was that feeling in his stomach again. Sirius would have to request a doctor if that kept happening.</p><p>  “I am deeply sorry, Your Highness,” Remus stuttered, “I didn’t mean to be so blunt.”</p><p>  “There is no reason to apologize, Remus,” he told him fondly, before motioning to one of the two very comfortable chairs that laid right next to his writing desk, “Let’s take a seat and then we can begin, is that okay with you?”</p><p>  “Yes, of course, Your Highness.”</p><p>  Remus waited for Sirius to take the first seat before cautiously following him and taking the other one.</p><p>  “Sirius,” Sirius blurted out without even thinking, earning in response an incredulous look from the man beside him.</p><p>  “I am sorry, Your Highness?”</p><p>  Sirius felt extremely vulnerable under Remus’ gaze, and struggled to understand why that man seemed to make him feel so...weird. </p><p>  “Sirius,” he continued decidedly after only the briefest hesitation, “I want you to call me Sirius.”</p><p>  He couldn’t really decipher all of Remus’ expression, but he was sure there was surprise there.</p><p>  “With all due respect, Your Highness, I don’t think that would be—“</p><p>  “Appropriate?,” Sirius cut him off, eyebrows raised and lips forming a teasing grin, “Just like you said coming here would be. And yet, here you are, aren’t you?”</p><p>   Remus stared at him for a few seconds and Sirius was sure that he had just screwed everything up, that Remus would realize the craziness of the situation and leave. </p><p>  But the boy surprised him once again when his lips formed an easy smile.</p><p>  “Alright, you’ve got a point...Sirius.” The name left his mouth rather hesitantly, but that didn’t do anything to decrease the joy Sirius felt at that moment. He liked the way his name sounded on Remus’ lips. </p><p>  ‘Why am I thinking about his lips?’ Sirius reprehended himself, frustrated, a frown forming on his forehead. </p><p>  “Are you okay?”</p><p> Sirius looked at Remus to find his eyes fixed at him worriedly, and immediately felt bad for concerning him. </p><p>  “Yeah, sure, I am alright ,” he answered casually, and felt himself relax when he saw the worry in Remus’ eyes subside. “We can start already, if you want.”</p><p>   Remus opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then closed it again just as quickly. He looked at the book on his lap, and then at Sirius, before starting to talk again.</p><p>   “Your High—Sirius,” he corrected himself with a short laugh before turning serious again, “I have to ask...why are you doing this for me?”</p><p>   Sirius was caught off guard with the question, remaining quiet for a moment too long before answering him.</p><p>   “I don’t know. Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>   Remus just stared at him for a minute, his gaze so intense that made Sirius feel bare. Finally, his face lit up in satisfaction.</p><p>   “Well, I can’t thank you enough,” he continued, his eyes strong and sincere, never leaving Sirius’, “It means a lot to me.”</p><p>  Sirius thought of shrugging it off, maybe say that it was nothing and he shouldn’t worry about it, but for some reason he thought Remus wouldn’t be pleased with that. So he settled for returning his gaze, just as firmly, and replied a soft “You’re welcome.”</p><p>  Remus smiled at him before opening the book, and they began their lesson. </p><p>  It turned out Remus was a pretty good student. He was patient and determined, so he was learning really fast. </p><p>  Sirius only noticed how much time has passed when Remus glanced at the clock and cursed.</p><p>  “Oh fuck, it’s two in the morning. I didn’t even realize.”</p><p>  “Me neither,” Sirius answered laughing, but secretly sad their time was up. He had enjoyed spending time with him more than he had expected. “You were very good, though, so it was worth it a night of almost no sleep.” he added, receiving a full grin from Remus.</p><p>  “Just because you are a really good teacher.”</p><p>  They just smiled at each other for a moment, and when Remus closed the book and motioned to stand up, Sirius gave in to his curiosity.</p><p>  “This book...it seems very important to you.” </p><p>  He had noticed a few times during the night, on the way that Remus’ hands flipped the pages, how his fingers carefully followed the words and how he looked at it almost respectfully. </p><p>  Suddenly Sirius felt like he had intruded in something very personal as he saw the way Remus hesitated, and guilt filled his body.</p><p>  “You don’t have to talk about it, of course,” he added not even a second later, “It really isn’t any of my business.”</p><p>  “No, no, it’s, umm, it’s okay.”</p><p>  Sirius watched as Remus briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them again. </p><p>   “This was my mother’s book,” he told him quietly, almost in a whisper. </p><p>   “Was?” </p><p>   Sirius’ heart clenched in his chest when he saw Remus’ eyes fill with tears. </p><p>   “She passed away when I was younger,” his voice was heavy when he spoke, and Sirius felt a surprisingly strong urge to wrap his arms around him.</p><p>   “I am so sorry, Remus, I... I don’t know what to say.” </p><p>   Remus gave him a watery smile before looking down at his feet.</p><p>  “It’s okay, really. It was a long time ago.”</p><p>  They stayed silent for a minute, just standing there facing each other, before Remus spoke again.</p><p>  “Mom found this book in the streets one day, next to our house, when I was around three years old. She said I was fascinated with the figures on the cover, and that I always asked her what that story was about.” </p><p>   Sirius observed Remus’ face as he went through his memories, eyes unfocused as he tried to reach the past.</p><p>   “So one day, after my constant insistence to learn more about the book, she had this idea. She would open the book and tell me countless stories, all of them fruit of her own imagination. Then she told me, when I was a little bit older, that one day, she would be able to read. She would learn and teach me, so we could read it together.”</p><p>   At that point, some tears had escaped Remus’ eyes, leaving a trail on his scarred face. Sirius tried to come up with something, anything to say, that could ease the man’s pain. He looked so vulnerable, so broken, and Sirius just wanted to make it go away.</p><p>   “She would be so proud of you, Remus,” he settled for telling him once he could speak again.</p><p>   And as Remus smiled at him, face still wet, Sirius knew that boy was special. He just didn’t know how much yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The First Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>a closer look at one of the selected women and more remus!!! hope y’all like it!!! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>    It was a warm morning when Sirius found himself getting ready for his first date in The Selection, two days after his lesson with Remus.</p><p>   To say that Sirius was nervous was an understatement. He was terrified. In his eighteen years of life, Sirius had never been on a date before, and he had no clue on how to act around women.</p><p>   When he finished getting dressed, Sirius made his way to the third floor, which was reserved to The Selected’s bedrooms. Near the end of the long corridor, Sirius found the door he was looking for:</p><p>           MISS ALICE FORTESCUE</p><p>   Alice had been one of the girls he had most enjoyed talking to on the first day. She seemed to be a funny, kind person, and she looked like she wouldn’t judge him if the date ended up being a complete disaster.</p><p>   Not even three seconds passed before Alice opened the door, a smile directed at Sirius. She was dressed in a short blue dress stamped with yellow little flowers, perfect for the sunny day outside. </p><p>   “Good morning, Your Highness,” she bowed her head a little.</p><p>   “Good morning, Miss Alice,” he greeted her politely, before offering his arm so she could take it.</p><p>   She accepted, and they started walking towards the garden. When Sirius had asked her out on the day before, she told him she would enjoy a place where they could talk and get to know each other better. </p><p>  “Did you sleep well, dear?” he asked her once they reached the fresh air outside.</p><p>  “Oh, definitely, Your Highness,” Sirius noticed her expression light at that, “The beds you have here...It’s like I am sleeping on clouds! Or feathers!” She answered, excited.</p><p>  Sirius let out a small chuckle, which soon turned into a full laugh. Alice looked kind of embarrassed at first, but joined in on the laughter only a few moments later. That did the job of making them more comfortable immediately.</p><p>  They walked around the garden for about an hour, talking about trivial and casual subjects, but it was nice, and Sirius was surprise to find himself completely relaxed. He had been right about her all along. </p><p>  Just as Sirius was about to suggest they went back inside, he sensed a slight shift in the mood. He looked down at Alice to find her bitting her lip, an anxious look on her face. </p><p>  “Is everything alright?” he asked her, suddenly concerned.</p><p>  She hesitated for a few more seconds before looking up at him.</p><p>  “I have to tell you something, Your Highness.” </p><p>  Sirius felt his eyebrows furrow at that, now from confusion. What could she possibly tell him that made her look so nervous? </p><p>  “Yes, of course, Miss Alice,” he said in the most calming tone he could muster, and motioned her to go ahead.</p><p>  “I...I didn’t exactly want to come here.” she said after what looked like a lot of struggle. </p><p>  Now Sirius was beyond confused. Wasn’t she the one that wanted a place to walk and talk, like the gardens?</p><p>  “Oh, I am sorry,” he apologized, though he still didn’t understand, “I thought here would be a good choice since we were going to take a walk and—“</p><p>  “Oh, no, no,” she shook her had frantically, “That’s not what I meant, Your Highness. I...I...I meant I didn’t want to come to The Selection.” </p><p>  Alice finally managed to get the sentence out, and Sirius was sure he failed at containing the shock on his expression this time. That was not what he had expected, at all.</p><p>  She seemed to take his silence as a bad sign, though, as she began to ramble nonstop, panic evident on her face. </p><p>  “Your Highness is extremelly handsome and kind, sir. I am really lucky to be here competing for your hand, please don’t get me wrong! I just meant I—“</p><p>  “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Sirius took pity on her suffering and interrupted her, before placing a warm hand on her arm, which was still hooked on his. “You can tell me, don’t worry.”</p><p>  As soon as Sirius said that, it looked like some sort of barrier had broke inside of Alice, and her eyes suddenly watered. She blinked, trying to contain the tears, but that only caused them to spill down her face. </p><p>   “I am afraid, Your Highness, that my heart already belongs to someone else.” she told him, voice so low that he almost couldn’t hear. </p><p>   Sirius stayed quiet for a few moments while his brain processed the situation, trying to understand what he was feeling. He should be angry, shouldn’t he? And sad, and definitely jealous. These are the emotions expected from someone to have when one of his options to marry, the first one that he took out on a date, was in love with someone else. </p><p>  But he wasn’t feeling any of that, even if he didn’t understand why not. Instead, he felt a wave of compassion hit him.</p><p> “Can I ask you why you came, dear, if someone else already claims your affections?” he asked her calmly. </p><p>  When Alice tilted her face up again, her eyes were wide, looking at him as if another head had popped out of his neck. </p><p>  “I am not angry at you,” he clarified it to her when a minute passed and she still hadn’t said a word, “I understand.”</p><p>   Alice shook her had slowly in disbelief, before finally finding her voice again.</p><p>  “Your Highness is too kind. I do not deserve it.”</p><p>  “Let me be the judge of that, will you?” Sirius retorted friendly, being rewarded with a soft smile from the girl. “Why don’t you tell me why you came here?”</p><p>  Alice’s face gained a slightly pink color before she started talking.</p><p>  “My boyfriend and I...we were going to get married,” her voice broke down at the end of the sentence, and Sirius could see she was fighting hard not to start sobbing right then and there, “We were so happy. But one day he went to my house and told me he was going to enlist because his family needed the money. We didn’t know where he would go to, and he said he didn’t want to be a burden. We argued, and then he told me to forget about him. We are not together anymore.”</p><p>  She wasn’t trying to hold her sobs back any longer, crying freely.</p><p>  Sirius didn’t know what to say. He felt terrible for Alice, her suffering was so strong it was painful to watch. But at the same time, as weird as it sounded, he was a little envious, and caught himself wondering if he would ever love someone that intensely.</p><p>  He realized he had stayed quiet for too long when Alice continued her speech.</p><p>  “Participating on The Selection was the best way to help my family, Your Highness.” she looked down as her blush increased, but Sirius could still see her embarrassment clearly. </p><p>   “I am a Four, so even if we don’t struggle like so many others do, life hadn’t been exactly kind to us either. Money has been tight, and as all The Selected receive a significant amount of money for their stay, I thought...” she trailed off, unsure on how to continue.</p><p>   But she didn’t need to. Sirius immediately understood, and his esteem for the girl only grew.</p><p>   “I respect you a lot, Miss Alice, for your bravery and your honesty towards me,” Sirius told her once she stopped talking. “I will let you go back home whenever you wish, but in the meantime, I would love to have you as a friend here.”</p><p>  The smile that Sirius received in return was one of the most genuine he had ever seen, and he saw himself mimicking it without even meaning to. </p><p>  ‘Well, if everything goes wrong, at least I made myself a friend.’</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>  A few hours later, right after finishing his lunch, Sirius was walking through the gardens again, looking for the peace and quiet that helped him calm his agitated thoughts, when he suddenly spotted it.</p><p>  A short haired figure sitting in a bench a few yards away, looking extremely peaceful, a book safely in its hands. Remus. </p><p>  As Sirius moved towards him, he couldn’t help but observe Remus. He was wearing the kitchen’s uniform, probably taking a break from work, and he had a look of pure concentration on his face as his eyes scanned the lines on the pages. </p><p>  Remus’ hand moved to his hair for a moment, making it more messy than it already was, and Sirius saw that it almost looked like gold in the sun light. </p><p>  Sirius felt a strange warmth rise through his body, and he suddenly felt a little too hot. </p><p> ‘It must be the sun,’ he thought, slightly confused. </p><p>  However, that was the moment that Remus raised his eyes from the book and spotted him, already only a few meters away, and all of Sirius’ thoughts evaporated from his mind when he saw Remus smile.</p><p>  “Sirius, good afternoon!” </p><p>  Sirius’ heart skipped a beat at how effortlessly Remus had called him by his name this time. His surprise was probably obvious, since Remus chuckled a little and eyed him in a playful way.</p><p>  “Why are you so surprised? You told me to call you Sirius, and I am not about to disobey orders from a prince.” </p><p>  Sirius smirked teasingly at him, propping down on the bench next to him. </p><p>  “Smart choice, young man.” </p><p>  Remus only laughed at him before turning to his book again, biting his lip from time to time in parts Sirius assumed he had more difficulty. Sirius found that rather adorable. </p><p>  “Are you making progress then?” he asked Remus after a few moments of comfortable silence.</p><p>  “Yes, I am,” he answered brightly, eyes shining, before adding quickly. “No spoilers though!” </p><p>  Sirius threw his head back in laughter at Remus’ desperation, before crossing his fingers in front of his heart like a promise.</p><p>  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” </p><p>  “Smart choice, young man.” Remus joked before changing the subject. “So, how is The Selection going? If this is not too intrusive to ask, of course.”</p><p>  “Of course not, don’t worry,” Sirius reassured him quickly. Remus was starting to feel more at ease around him, and he didn’t want that to change. </p><p>  “I am just...” he continued, not sure of what to say, “Well, I am a bit of a mess right now, to be honest. This Selection is messing with my head.” </p><p>  Remus hummed understandingly, seeming to examine Sirius throughly. If someone came up to Sirius and told him  about the faint blush that crept on his face at that moment, he would deny it to his grave. </p><p>  That went unnoticed by Remus, though, who continued talking after seeming to be done with his examination.</p><p>  “That’s completely understandable, you know? If it was me, I would be a total wreck.” </p><p>  “I guess I am just...” Sirius trailed off, feeling a little embarrassed, “Scared, I guess. I mean, I have thirty five women to choose from. And then... what if I don’t match with any of them? What if...”</p><p>  He took a deep breath and then let it out with a long sigh, turning to stare at Remus’ eyes.</p><p>  “What if I don’t find anyone?”</p><p>  The way they looked at each other at that moment was different. Sirius felt as if Remus would be able to read his entire being, his soul. They felt... connected.</p><p>   “You are an amazing person, Sirius. I know you will find someone. You just have to believe in it, too.” Remus told him, his eyes and voice so sincere that the intensity of it threw Sirius out of balance.</p><p>  But before he could even blink, Remus quickly diverted his eyes from his. Sirius thought he caught a redness spreading through Remus’ cheeks, though he just blamed it on the hot weather. </p><p>  “I think I need to get going,” Remus said in a sudden rush, checking his watch. “My lunch break is almost over.” </p><p>  “Oh, right, of course,” Sirius nodded, a bit disappointed, but stood up to follow him anyway. “I will walk with you.”</p><p>  As they walked back, side by side, Sirius’ curiosity took over and he asked what he was meaning to ask Remus since they met. </p><p>   “So, Remus...what did you think of the palace?”</p><p>  Sirius didn’t know why, but he was kind of nervous about Remus’ impression of his home. However, his worries went away when Remus answered him.</p><p>  “It’s gorgeous, really! I used to live in a small village, a bit far from town, so I had never seen anything like this before.” </p><p>  Sirius fought against his will to ask more about Remus’ life. There was so much he didn’t know, and he desperately wanted to. But he didn’t want to upset Remus if he happened to find it too invasive.</p><p>  “Why did you decide to come work here?” he settled for asking instead.</p><p>  As soon as the words left Sirius’ mouth, he wished he could take them back. He saw Remus’ expression fall and cursed himself quietly. </p><p>  “Do you remember when I told you my mom died when I was younger?” Remus asked him not a moment later, so Sirius didn’t even have time to apologize.</p><p>  Once Sirius nodded, he continued.</p><p>  “Well, she died when I was eleven,” he made an almost unnoticeable pause, and then... “My father died three years later.”</p><p>  The revelation shocked Sirius so much he tripped in a rock right in front of him. He would have fallen face first into the ground if Remus hadn’t caught him by his waist, steading him. </p><p>  Sirius was starting to notice that he quite liked the feeling of Remus’ arms around him when Remus took a step back, letting him go.</p><p>  “Are you alright?!”</p><p>  “Yeah, I am okay,” Sirius answered, still aghast, “Shit, Remus, I...”</p><p>  Sirius was a loss of words, and he didn’t think a simple ‘I am sorry’ would be enough anymore. But Remus could sense his condolences, because he simply gave him a sad smile and mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’.</p><p>  “Anyway, I—“</p><p>  “Wait, Remus, you don’t have to tell me if this is too painful for you,” he interrupted him.</p><p>   “It’s okay, Sirius. I can’t run away from the past, right? Besides,” Remus told him, whole heartedly, “I trust you, Sirius.”</p><p>   ‘He trusts me. He trusts me!’ was all Sirius could think of. ‘I know I’ve only known him for a few days, but God, I trust him too.’</p><p>   “I trust you, too, Remus.” </p><p>  That moment certainly lightened the mood a little, and when Remus continued his story he didn’t seem as upset as he was before, even though the sadness was still there.</p><p>  “When dad died, I went to live with my neighbors. They are a sweet and loving couple, and had been friends with my parents since forever. I worked as much as I could, obviously, to try and help with all the costs, but... they still had to spend some money on me,” he shrugged, and Sirius could tell he was feeling helpless. </p><p>  “Their youngest son was born last month. They already had two more kids, and me. The food was already little, the costs already high. I couldn’t see how they would be able to afford everything.” </p><p>  Sirius listened to him quietly, growing more disturbed at every word. Before The Selection, his entire world had been inside of that walls. He had never knew anything other than luxury and abundance. </p><p>  But now, meeting Alice, and meeting Remus...Here he was, Prince Sirius Black, future King of Illéa, and he didn’t know a thing about his people’s suffering. </p><p>  “About two weeks ago,” Remus continued, “I saw the announcement on the paper. They were offering more jobs on the palace as The Selection was on its way. So I took it.”</p><p>  By then, they were almost reaching the palace’s entrance, so they would have to part separate ways, as prince and servant could not be seen hanging around casually together.</p><p> Remus took a stop on the shadows above a big tree and faced the palace.</p><p>  “That’s my story. I came to help them the best that I can. Those people are worth fighting for.”</p><p>  Sirius really doubted it was even possible to feel more admiration towards someone than he was feeling at that moment. Admiration and something else...that he didn’t quite decipher. Yet.</p><p>  “I hope you also find someone in here that is worth fighting for,” Sirius told him.</p><p>  When Remus turned to him, Sirius saw some strong emotion behind his eyes. </p><p>  “Me too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Ball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius woke up with the sunlight coming through the curtains and immediately grimaced as he remembered what day it was. </p><p>Exactly three weeks had passed since the first day of The Selection, which meant that, according to his family’s tradition, it was time to throw The Royal Ball. </p><p>His mother was annoyingly excited, bossing everyone around and making sure that everything went perfectly. No mistakes would be tolerated in such a special event, as she used to say. Sirius felt bad for the staff, even more than he usually did. </p><p>For Sirius, though, there was no reason for any excitement. The ball consisted of one single thing: a bunch of noble, important, boring people coming together to brag about their richness and broadcast their supposed superiority to the country. </p><p>Sirius was wearing only a pair of boxer briefs when his mother suddenly opened the door.</p><p>“Holy shit, mother!” he yelled, looking for something to cover himself, “Don’t you know how to knock?”</p><p>Walburga chose to ignore him as she entered the room and handed Sirius a box. </p><p>“I told the tailor to make it last week, since I figured you wouldn’t bother to arrange something appropriate to wear,” she said before he could ask anything.</p><p>Sirius carefully took the box from her hands and placed it on the bed, before opening it and taking a look at its content.</p><p>It consisted of a bright purple tuxedo, covered in small sequins that made it obnoxiously flashy. Sirius felt the urge to close his eyes and protect his vision from that terribly ugly piece of clothing.</p><p>“It’s hideous!”</p><p>Walburga’s face hardened at that and she looked like she was making a great effort not to loose her composure. </p><p>“It is elegant and respectable,” she retorted.</p><p>“You mean it looks like it costed a fortune.”</p><p>“That is enough, Sirius,” she finally lost her patience, “You will wear it tonight and period.”</p><p>Sirius sighed, frustrated, but stayed quiet. He knew there was no way out of that, so he just nodded and tried it on. </p><p>“Oh I almost forgot,” she said, more excitedly this time, “Your cousin Bella is coming.”</p><p>Sirius almost let out some not so polite words as he heard the news, and felt an unpleasant shiver run down his spine at the mention of her name. </p><p>Of all the people in his family, Bellatrix was without a doubt one of the very worst. In his opinion, she was a cruel, heartless person that unfortunately happened to be related to him. </p><p>‘Actually, that description could be easily applied to most of my family members,’ he thought sourly.</p><p>“I am warning you, Sirius Black. Don’t cause any trouble.”</p><p>And with that, she was gone. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The sound of classical music filled the air as Sirius spun around the dance floor with Mary McDonald in his arms, and he felt like he would die of boredom at any moment.</p><p>Despite his imminent death, though, he was beginning to think that the night could have gone far worse. He had managed to dance with all the selected women, the 27 that still remained, and talk to the majority of the important people that attended the event. His mother’s presence was discrete, but always there, as she supervised him to make sure he would pass on the image of the perfect Black heir.</p><p>However, he should have figured that wouldn’t be the case. Nothing in Sirius Black’s life was ever that simple.</p><p>As Mary stepped on his foot for what felt like the tenth time already, Sirius grumpily wished that it was Remus dancing with him instead. He was positive that he would have enjoyed the night far more if he had been in the other man’s presence. </p><p>He knew that he would probably appear at some point before the end of the ball, as he had told Sirius that he would be waitressing there, but they wouldn’t even be able to talk.</p><p>Remus had gone to his chambers for their reading lessons almost every night since that day in the gardens. He had improved so much that Sirius didn’t believe he needed his help anymore, but the man didn’t say anything about it, so Sirius certainly didn’t complain.</p><p>They would read and talk for hours straight, and Sirius constantly caught himself wishing for even more of Remus’ company. </p><p>‘He truly became a very important part of my life,’ it occurred to him.</p><p>But Sirius’ thoughts were suddenly rudely interrupted by the last person he wanted to see that night (or any other night, in fact). </p><p>“Hello, cousin.”</p><p>Sirius’ whole body tensed at her voice, and he silently prayed that she hadn’t noticed. </p><p>‘The last thing that I need is for her to feel like she has power over me.’</p><p>“Mary, my dear,” he politely turned to the other girl, who was still clinging to his arm like he was a life jacket, “Could you excuse me for a moment as I talk to my beloved cousin?”</p><p>“Of course, Your Highness,” she gave him an awkward bow, before turning to Bellatrix and doing the same, “Excuse me, Madame.”</p><p>Sirius waited until she was out of ear reach before turning to his cousin. Bellatrix had a cruel smile on her face, one that Sirius noticed she always wore when he was around. </p><p>“Oh, little cousin, I know you love me very much, but there’s no need to exaggerate.” </p><p>“Leave me alone, Bellatrix” he cut her short before she could say anything else, “I have no wish to deal with you right now.”</p><p>She threw her head back so abruptly that Sirius thought she would break her neck by the force of it, a scary laugh coming out of her mouth. </p><p>“You really should be more careful about how you talk to me, cousin,” she retorted, turning her back to him and walking away not even a second later. </p><p>Sirius let out a mixture of an angry huff and a relieved sigh once he got rid of her. He completely forgot about Mary as he made his way towards the table in the corner of the room, the big bowl of punch suddenly looking extremely appealing. </p><p>But then again, nothing in Sirius’ life was that simple. He had just taken a very satisfying sip of his drink when there was a loud noise of glass chattering, followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. </p><p>Sirius quickly spun around to see what happened and he felt his heart stop beating. A small circle was beginning to form, but he could still see it clearly. There, in the middle of the small crowd, was Remus.</p><p>He was laying in a pool of spilled water and shards of glass, and the second he lifted his face Sirius could spot the fear  there. </p><p>He didn’t even realize his legs had moved until he was kneeling very ungraciously in front of Remus. Panic stroke him as he saw the boy was bleeding in several spots.</p><p>“Oh my God, Remus, are you okay?!” he asked him desperately.</p><p>However, whatever Remus was going to answer was interrupted by a muffled laughter coming from his left. When Sirius looked up, he felt a wave of pure fury rise through him and fill every inch of his body.</p><p>Bellatrix stood there, foot extended and shoulders shaking from laughter. When their eyes locked, she merely retreated her foot and mouthed a small ‘oops!’ </p><p>Sirius probably would have jumped on her throat right at that moment, in the middle of the ball, if his mother hadn’t pulled him up by the back of his tux. </p><p>“What is going on here?” the queen demanded in a serious voice before spotting Remus, still splashed on the ground. </p><p>She let go of Sirius and grabbed Remus by his shirt’s collar, aggressively pulling him to his feet. Before neither of the boys could even blink, Walburga let go of his uniform and smacked him right on the face. </p><p>“Stop it!” Sirius screamed, moving to stand on Remus’ side, focused on his mother. He didn’t even see the way the man’s eyes widened in awe despite the pain in his face.</p><p>“How dare you speak to me this way?” she spit in rage, before turning to Remus, “And to defend this...this...”</p><p>Sirius didn’t let her finish her insult and pointed accusingly at his cousin, clearly determinate. </p><p>“It wasn’t his fault. She put her foot in front of him so he would trip. I saw it.” </p><p>Bellatrix immediately gasped, put on a fake hurt expression and started denying everything. </p><p>Sirius found himself thinking that, if looks could kill, the one his mother gave him would have gotten him dead and buried ten feet bellow the ground at that moment. </p><p>“Shame on you, Sirius Black. You are nothing more than a big disappointment.” </p><p>Sirius tried to control his expression, but knew he failed miserably. He always did. No matter how many times she told him how much of a disgrace he was and how she wished Regulus was her only son, it never seemed to stop hurting.</p><p>“And you,” she quickly turned her murderous look to Remus, “You are lucky we need more staff, otherwise you would already be out on the streets. Now get out of here.”</p><p>“Y-y-yes, Your Majesty,” Remus stuttered, seeming too shaken up to say much more.<br/>
He looked at Sirius for a second, looking like he wanted to talk to him, but left the Great Hall in a hurry.</p><p>Walburga quickly turned her attention to the other people in the room to avoid making even more of a scene. </p><p>“I am so sorry, everyone, one of our employees had a small accident, but we will take care of everything right away.”</p><p>It seemed like that took people out of their stupor and the whispers started to be heard.</p><p>‘The only thing these people can do properly is gossip,’ Sirius thought bitterly.</p><p>Not even a minute later, three other servants had appeared and started cleaning the mess on the floor. </p><p>“Sirius? Are you okay?” </p><p>He jumped as a hand touched his shoulder. Regulus was standing next to him, looking concerned. Only then did Sirius realized he was shaking. It had all happened so fast, he was still processing everything.</p><p>“No,” he answered truthfully, “I need to get out of here.”</p><p>“Okay,” Regulus nodded understandably, tightening his hold on Sirius for a second before letting go, “Go. I’ll cover for you if mother or father ask anything.”</p><p>“Thanks, Reg,” he sighed. His brother was really an angel.</p><p>Sirius left the Great Hall with a single thought in his mind. </p><p>He needed to find Remus.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Sirius rushed to the second floor, where he knew all the servant’s bedrooms were. He didn’t even think of how he would find Remus, too worried about him to think straight. </p><p>Luckily enough, he emerged from the stairs just in time to see a door closing down the end of the corridor, which he could only assume was Remus’ room.</p><p>He strode over to it and knocked, careful not to make too much noise. When the door opened and revealed Remus, Sirius fought an urge to cry. </p><p>In addition to the cuts on his hands and knees, where the glass pierced his trousers, there was a dark red hand mark on his left cheek where Walburga had hit him. And his mother’s slaps were no joke. Sirius knew that from experience. </p><p>“Hey,” Remus greeted him, looking a little surprised but glad to find Sirius there. </p><p>“Hi,” Sirius bit his lower lip in hesitation before looking inside the room, “Can I come in?” </p><p>“Of course, yes!” Remus stepped aside in a hurry, gesturing for him to enter. </p><p>Only when Sirius walked into the bedroom he realized that he had never been to a servant’s chambers before. He took in his surroundings and noticed that the space was really tiny, not much bigger than his bathroom, with the exception of a small balcony.</p><p>Sirius immediately felt embarrassed about his own bedroom’s extravagance. </p><p>“Nice tux you got there.”</p><p>Sirius turned his head to find Remus standing a bit unsurely next to his bed, eyeing him. </p><p>He let out a humorless laugh and took it off, revealing a white shirt that was a little too tight on him. </p><p>Sirius thought he saw Remus’ eyes trail his chest for a second, but decided that his brain must have tricked him. </p><p>“Mother’s choice, can’t disappoint her even more, right?” </p><p>Remus’ forehead formed a deep frown and he opened his mouth to answer, but Sirius beat him to it.</p><p>“I am sorry to show up here unannounced like this. I just...” he trailed off, feeling inexplicably self conscious, “I came to check on you. And to see if I can help you with anything. Can I?”</p><p>Remus just looked at him fondly for a moment before gesturing to his nightstand. Sirius then noticed the small package of cottons, some bandage gauzes, alcohol to clean the cuts and a bucket filled with ice, all carefully placed there.</p><p>“I passed by the hospital wing real quick, Madame Pomfrey gave me those. I suppose you could help me with them?” Remus suggested, looking expectantly at him.</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Sirius closed the short distance from where he stood to the bed in less than a second, sat on the edge and picked up the items, “Poppy is amazing, isn’t she?”</p><p>“Poppy?” Remus shocked his head slowly while a snort escaped his lips at the weird nickname, and he sat next to Sirius on the bed.</p><p>An involuntary smile appeared on Sirius’ face at that, but it instantly vanished once he took Remus’ hands in his own to look at the damage.</p><p>Not only there were small cuts and blood, but some pieces of glass were still stuck in his skin. </p><p>“Fuck, Remus, I am so sorry,” he bit his lip again as it started trembling.</p><p>“Wait, what? What are you sorry for?” Remus’ frowned again, this time from confusion.</p><p>“It was all my fault. I provoked Bellatrix. She did it on purpose so that I would try to accuse her and loose my shit.”</p><p>“Oh, Sirius...” </p><p>That made him look up from Remus’ hands, surprised to see the soft expression on his face instead of anger. </p><p>“You can’t blame yourself for what your cousin does. You are not your family. You are responsible for your own acts, nothing more.”</p><p>Sirius just sat there, staring at Remus, utterly and completely speechless. ‘You are not your family.’ That was the first time someone other than James told him that.</p><p>‘He knows I am not like them. He knows.’</p><p>Remus seemed oblivious to Sirius’ thoughts as he kept on talking after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>“Actually, I...,” he cleaned his throat and Sirius saw his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed, “The way you stood up for me in front of everyone, not even caring about how it would look like, or about your mother...it was incredible.”</p><p>Sirius felt himself getting lost as their eyes met, the air around them growing hot as silver met amber. </p><p>The intensity of it was so much that Sirius had to break the eye contact, blushing as he once again looked at Remus’ hands. He carefully started to remove the glass from them. </p><p>“I would never let them harm you.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>They fell into a peaceful silence as Sirius kept on his work. There was something really nice about holding Remus’ hands. They were pleasantly warm and slightly bigger than his own, and his skin was smooth despite all the cuts. </p><p>Once he was done removing the shattered glass, he cleaned the cuts and began bandaging them.</p><p>However, as he did so, he couldn’t help but observe the many faint lines that crossed Remus’ arms, disappearing bellow his shirt. He had noticed them before, of course, just like the ones on his face and neck, but he never mentioned anything.</p><p>He probably wasn’t as discreet as he had figured, though, because after a few minutes, Remus casually asked, “You are wondering how I got them, aren’t you?”</p><p>Sirius froze, caught completely of guard. His mind quickly searched for some excuse. </p><p>“N-no, I—“</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay,” Remus interrupted him with a small smile before lightly squeezing Sirius’ hands, “I would wonder too, you know? I am actually impressed you didn’t ask me.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he told him almost in a whisper, but Remus heard him anyway.</p><p>“You don’t make me uncomfortable. Actually, it’s quite the opposite.”</p><p>Sirius briefly wondered if it was even possible for Remus’ eyes to become softer than they were at that moment, and he felt his heart quicken its rhythm. </p><p>Despite Remus’ reassurance, Sirius was about to apologize and change the subject when the man continued talking.</p><p>“Do you remember that I told you how I used to live in a small village with my parents, a few miles away from the city?”</p><p>“Yeah, I remember.”</p><p>“It was a safe village. There was a forest nearby, but no one was ever concerned because, as long as we didn’t disturb the animals there, they didn’t come to us. But one day...”</p><p>Remus’ voice cracked a bit in the middle of the sentence, and Sirius watched as a sad sigh escaped his lips.</p><p>“One day, my dad forgot the door open when he got home. I was four. I don’t remember much, honestly, but I do remember leaving the house. My dad found me unconscious in the forest almost an hour later.”</p><p>Horror struck Sirius and he let out a terrified sound. He didn’t even notice, but his grip on Remus’ hands were stronger than ever. </p><p>“I had claw marks and bites all over me, and had lost a lot of blood. They believe it was a wolf that attacked me. Anyway, my parents managed to get some help, otherwise I don’t believe I would have made it. But they didn’t have the money to call a good doctor, so the wounds never properly healed.” </p><p>Sirius felt as if the whole world had faded and all that was left was this terrible feeling, enveloping his whole body and making him want to cry. </p><p>He imagined a four year old Remus, hurt and nearly dead, unconscious in the forest. He imagined his pain, his suffering. He imagined his parents, unable to give their son a good treatment because of money.</p><p>Money, something that Sirius had always had to spare.</p><p>Why did things like that had to happen? Why was life so cruel to the ones who didn’t deserve it?</p><p>He didn’t realize he was actually crying until he felt a tender touch on his cheeks and, through the wetness in his eyes, he saw Remus’ concerned face looking closely at him. </p><p>“Please, don’t cry,” he pleaded, thumbs wiping Sirius’ tears away, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”</p><p>‘How is this boy even real?’ Sirius asked himself, face still being held, ‘He just told me all of that and he is worried that *I* am upset.’ </p><p>Then, without even thinking about it, Sirius threw himself at Remus’ arms. He felt the man tense in surprise, but before he could even begin to pull away, strong arms enveloped him back. </p><p>It was the first time they hugged, and Sirius found himself wishing they never stopped.</p><p>“You know...” Remus’ voice so close to his ear brought him back to reality, “What your mother told you, about you being a disappointment. I know she is the queen, but I have never heard anything more false in my entire life. Sirius...you are incredible.” </p><p>Sirius felt himself melt right then and there, heart beating like crazy. And then, everything suddenly made sense. </p><p>The weird goosebumps he got in his stomach every time they were together, the blushes, the times he thought about how cute and beautiful Remus was and that constant need to be around him. </p><p>At that moment, he realized. He was in love. </p><p>He had fallen hard, fast, deep in love with that man that had entered his life not even a month ago. </p><p>The realization was too much for Sirius, and he let out a very audible gasp. </p><p>‘I am in love with him. I am in love with him. I am in love with him,’ he felt like his head was going to explode.</p><p>Remus, hearing his sharp intake of breath, pulled away from the embrace, putting a small distance between them. </p><p>“Sirius? Is something wrong?” </p><p>Sirius looked at that amber orbes that stared questioningly at him. </p><p>‘Yes, everything is wrong. I just realized that I love you. And yet, I can never have you,’ he wanted to say.</p><p>Instead, he masked his feelings with a tense smile.</p><p>‘No, everything’s good.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Moonlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another chapter that I loved to write!! I hope you all love reading it too!❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The noise was deafening, the smell of dust was sickening. The floor trembled so much that, if Remus didn’t know what was going on, he would think it was an earthquake.</p><p>He tightened his arms around Lily as she yelped once more, trying to pass some security to her, even if he himself wasn’t feeling any.</p><p> </p><p>(TWO HOURS EARLIER...)</p><p>A week had passed since the disaster at the Great Hall when it happened.</p><p>It was an apparently normal morning and Remus was calmly drying some dishes when Lily suddenly appeared behind him, a knowing smirk on her face.</p><p>“What’s with the lovesick look, Lupin?” </p><p>“Damn, Lily! You almost made me break the plate!”</p><p>Clearly amused, she started laughing and shoved him slightly while grabbing some bowls to help him on the job.</p><p>“Someone was daydreaming again, huh?”</p><p>Remus wasn’t going to admit that, but she wasn’t wrong. Lately, the task of taking a certain someone out of his head had been proving to be more and more difficult for him. At that point, it had become simply impossible. </p><p>What had started as admiration and friendship had quickly turned into something way stronger and deeper. Remus was afraid to admit it to himself, but he knew exactly what is was. Love. </p><p>During the day, his mind was always filled with thoughts of Sirius. He would get lost in thinking about his long black hair, his kind and beautiful smile and his grey eyes. But most importantly, he thought about how he desperately wanted to be that ‘someone’ in Sirius’ life. </p><p>During the nights, when Remus would finally surrender to his tiredness and fall asleep, he dreamed of Sirius.</p><p>Remus sighed and took a few seconds to think of what to say. He desperately wanted to tell Lily everything, get it all out of his chest. It would feel good talking to a friend.</p><p>But he couldn’t do that. He really didn’t think Lily was the type of person to judge someone for being gay, but how would he explain to her that he had given his heart to no one other than the freaking prince? </p><p>Anyway, it wasn’t as if he actually had a chance with him, right? Sirius was royalty. Sirius was gorgeous. Sirius was amazing. Even if he actually liked guys (which definitely was not the case) he would never like Remus. And if that wasn’t enough, Sirius even had a whole bunch of beautiful young women to choose from. </p><p>“And what about you, Miss Evans? Are you really sure you hate that Potter guy that much?”</p><p>He knew he had succeeded in swiftly changing the subject when she blushed and tried to avoid eye contact.</p><p>“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” </p><p>It was his time to let out an amused laughter and give her a knowing look. Lily was an incredibly stubborn person, but he himself was very observant. He had noticed the way she looked at James Potter, despite her constant efforts to make it seam like she couldn’t stand him. </p><p>“Uh-huh, sure.”</p><p>“I certainly don’t know what you are insinuating, Remus Lupin. James Potter is nothing more than an annoyingly persistent idiot.” </p><p>Remus rolled his eyes a little at that, but decided to give in. He didn’t want to push her too much.</p><p>“Whatever you say, Lils.”</p><p>A few minutes passed and they were almost done drying everything when they suddenly heard it. </p><p>A terrifyingly loud noise that seemed like a big explosion coming from outside. Remus almost jumped out of his skin and his heart began thumping so fast that he thought he would pass out. What the hell had just happened?</p><p>Not even a second later, caos took place inside the kitchen. Most of the servants were either crying, praying or screaming hysterically, and some even busted to the door in panic. </p><p>But before anyone could get out, the door flied open and a guard came in. He was panting heavily and sweat was dripping from his face, but he immediately straightened his posture and tried to look as professional as possible.</p><p>“I need everyone to calm down. We are under an attack.”</p><p>Despite his good intention, it seemed like his words had the opposite effect than the intended. It would be the same as if he’d said ‘hey, everyone, let’s panic even more!’, because that was exactly what happened. </p><p>Remus’ mind was working full time, trying to understand what was going on. An attack? Why were they under an attack? Who was attacking the palace?</p><p>“Aren’t we going to the safe place?” an old looking woman asked, and Remus could see she was trying her hardest to stay calm. </p><p>Almost everyone looked expectantly at the man, but he only shook his head. </p><p>“The explosion was too close, so it’s not safe to walk out. But don’t worry, we will stop them like we always do. For now, stay here and try to hide, we will keep you safe,” he answered before opening the door and leaving in a rush.</p><p>Nobody said it out loud, but everyone knew there was no guarantee they would be safe. </p><p>Remus turned his head to look at Lily as soon as the guard left. She hadn’t lost her composure, but the fear was transparent in her eyes. </p><p>Before he could even blink, she swiftly grabbed his hand and dragged him along to the back of the kitchen. The room was a total mess, everyone running around and looking for a hidden spot, but they managed to settle behind a big supply closet.</p><p>“Lily, what’s happening?” Remus asked, voice pleading.</p><p>When she lifted her head to look at him, Remus was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She let out a sad sigh before starting to speak.</p><p>“Rem, there are a lot of people who dislike the royal family, you must know that. The caste system that we live in is insanely unfair to the majority of the population, and nothing is ever done to fix it.”</p><p>Remus nodded understandably. He knew all that, of course. His own life was a proof of that. </p><p>“There are countless groups formed by citizens against the royalty and the system, but most of them are actually really small and their purpose is more of a public image, you know? To show people how unsatisfied and angry they are. But there are some of them that...” </p><p>Lily hesitated slightly, as if they would be in danger by simply talking about it, and Remus thought he saw her suppress a shiver.</p><p>“...well, some of them are really strong, Rem. And they actually want to take down the royal family and assume the control of the country. They want to rule Illéa.”</p><p>Another explosion marked the end of Lily’s explanation and Remus heard her yelp. He instantly took her hand is his in an attempt   to pass her some comfort.</p><p>Lily squeezed his hand back and directed him a thankful look, but he barely registered it. His brain had finally processed what she had meant by that speech and he could only think of one thing. </p><p>Sirius.</p><p>“So you are telling me that this attack—“</p><p>“Yes. It’s by one of those groups,” she confirmed his suspicions.</p><p>“Has it happened before?”</p><p>“Not since I started working here, no,” she shook her head before adding, “But there have been other ones before, yes. I have heard about some of them.”</p><p>There had been other attacks before. They knew how to protect the palace. Sirius was going to be okay. Nothing bad would happen to him. Right? </p><p>Remus realized he must have stayed silent for too long because Lily kept on talking after a while.</p><p>“Normally they would take us to a shelter. They have one for the staff and one for the royal family. The Selected are probably there with them, so they are all safe.” </p><p>That managed to calm Remus down a bit, though he was definitely still concerned. But then another thought crossed his mind.</p><p>“What about the guards?”</p><p>As soon as he asked that, he wanted to take it back. Lily’s shoulders seemed to slump even more and the tears reappeared. </p><p>And then he understood. James.</p><p>“You are too observant for your own good, Rem,” she gave him a sad smile, which was interrupted when a loud sob cracked her body, “He can’t die, Remus. He can’t die thinking that I hate him.” </p><p>Lily put her face in her hands and let herself cry, her body shaking from the force of it, and Remus felt his heart break in half. He carefully took her in his arms and she rested her head in his chest. </p><p>“Everything will be okay, Lils,” he whispered, “It will be okay.” </p><p>They both sat there, hearing the explosions and the screams, and waited.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the bombarding began, two guards had busted into Sirius’ chambers and dragged him to the shelter, so he didn’t even had the chance to change.</p><p>When Sirius got there he immediately spotted his mother, his father and his brother. Some of the selected women were already there as well, though there were still a lot outside. </p><p>The other women soon began to arrive in small groups, and when all the 27 were safely inside, the doors were closed. Sirius was extremely relieved to see that James had stayed inside the shelter to guard the doors. </p><p>In addition to the fuss outside, the noise of hysterically crying women soon filled Sirius’ ears. When he turned to Walburga, a simple look from her told him what he had to do.</p><p>But even as Sirius walked around the room trying to calm and comfort almost thirty women, he felt like his mind was a million miles away, entirely focused on someone else. Sirius had been worrying about Remus since he heard the first explosion.</p><p>Once he was done talking to all the girls, Sirius subtly made his way towards James. He had been meaning to ask him if he had any news about the staff or the progression of the attack.</p><p>However, when James noticed his arrival and looked at him, Sirius was startled by the expression on his face. He looked devastated.</p><p>“James, what happened?” he asked desperately, looking into his friend’s sad eyes. </p><p>“The kitchen staff. They couldn’t make it to the safe place, Sirius. I was informed that the bombarding was too close, so they had to stay there.”</p><p>Sirius felt as if all the air had been knocked out of his lungs and he involuntarily took a step back. It was like he had been punched in the gut, but even worse.</p><p>“No, there has to be some mistake.”</p><p>James sighed and shook his head miserably, “There’s no mistake, Sirius.”</p><p>Sirius wanted to scream. He needed to get out of there, find Remus and keep him safe. He wanted to take him in his arms and never let go. But he couldn’t do that. </p><p>“Sirius? Earth to Sirius?”</p><p>He was startled out of his state by James’ voice, sounding confused.</p><p>“I am just gonna, uh, just gonna sit over there,” Sirius mumbled weakly.</p><p>He could feel James’ questioning gaze burning through his robes, but he could barely process it. Now, all he could do was wait and try not to freak out.</p><p>The hours passed agonizingly slow, and Sirius felt as if he would loose his mind at any second.</p><p>After what seemed like a lifetime, the noise from the explosions stopped. Nothing more could be heard except from the quiet sniffles from inside the shelter.</p><p>A few more minutes passed in almost complete silence when the door was suddenly burst open and a guard walked in. He looked exhausted, but a huge grin was visible on his face.</p><p>“The attack is over, Your Majesties,” he directed the information to Walburga and Orion, “It’s safe to come out now.”</p><p>Sirius found himself standing up and running to the door not even a second later. He thought he heard his mother calling for him but he didn’t pay any attention.</p><p>His feet carried him in light speed as he ran to the opposite side of the palace. Remus. He needed to find Remus. </p><p>Sirius was about to fall over from exhaustion when he saw him. </p><p>Remus was standing right outside the kitchen’s door. His hair was a complete mess and his uniform was covered in dirt, but he still looked beautiful.</p><p>As if sensing he was being observed, Remus’ head turned in his direction and their eyes met. Sirius thought he saw the other man’s expression fill with relief. </p><p>Sirius barely even notice the destruction on the corridor as he quickly made his way over to where he was standing and threw his arms around him.</p><p>Remus reciprocated the hug only a fraction of a second later, and Sirius let himself finally relax a little. Some surprised gasps could be heard from the rest of the staff, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything besides the boy in his arms.</p><p>“I was so worried about you,” Sirius told him, and it was impossible to hide the emotion in his voice.</p><p>But Remus’ voice wasn’t less emotional as he answered him, “God, me too, Sirius. Me too.”</p><p>They stepped back and smiled at each other, but before either of them could do anything more they heard someone yelling.</p><p>“James Potter!”</p><p>Sirius looked behind his shoulder to find Lily Evans standing there, her face marked with tear tracks and hands clenched besides her body. Standing a few feet away, was James.</p><p>He saw James’ eyes widen comically as she strode over to him, but Sirius could also see how relieved he was to see she was okay.</p><p>“How dare you make me this worried?!” </p><p>James had just opened his mouth to say something when Lily grabbed the front of his guard’s uniform and pulled him towards her, their lips colliding together. </p><p>Sirius smiled widely as he looked at the kissing couple, glad that his best friend was finally happy. </p><p>‘I can’t believe he was actually right,’ Sirius thought and let out a chuckle.</p><p>When he risked a quick glance at Remus, he felt his heart swell as he found a very similar smile on the man’s face.</p><p>They were okay. They were all okay.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Sirius was not okay.</p><p>He didn’t know for how long he had been lying in his bed staring at the ceiling, but he just couldn’t sleep.</p><p>The events of the day were still tormenting his mind and even now, in the middle of the night, he still hadn’t managed to calm down.</p><p>In a spurt of the moment decision, Sirius quickly changed his clothes, put some shoes on and left his bedroom.</p><p>Not even two minutes later he found himself knocking on someone else’s room. He was surprised by how quickly Remus opened the door.</p><p>“Sirius?” he rubbed his eyes and looked at him, furrowing his eyebrows. Sirius pushed away a faint feeling of guilt for waking him up.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Here, come in,” Remus’ hand closed around Sirius’ wrists and dragged him into the room, “Everything alright?”</p><p>Sirius opened his mouth to tell him his standard reply, the famous ‘yes, I am totally fine’, but something in the man’s face made him tell the truth.</p><p>“Not really, no,” he sighed and looked at his feet, “Can I stay here for a bit?”</p><p>Remus’ eyebrows furrowed even more and Sirius could tell he was concerned.</p><p>“Of course you can. Want to go to the balcony?”</p><p>Sirius gave him a thankful look and nodded, following him to the other side of the room. He let out a satisfied breath when a small breeze came in as Remus opened the double glass doors. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus carefully asked him as they observed the countless small dots in the sky. </p><p>“I guess today was just too intense. I feel exhausted, but somehow I just can’t calm down enough to sleep.”</p><p>Remus hummed, seeming to understand.</p><p>“I know what you mean. Today was really scary, I don’t feel normal yet, either.”</p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Really. I guess we’ll just have to go through it together, right?” </p><p>Sirius felt warmth spread through his entire body. Damn, he was so in love, how could he have missed it before? </p><p>They stayed quiet for some time, just enjoying the view, the wind and each other’s company. Sirius was even afraid to move or say anything and ruin that peaceful moment.</p><p>But then he saw Remus’ body shift from the corner of his vision, so he turned to his right and...</p><p>They were standing really close, facing each other and Sirius’ breath got caught in his throat by the way Remus looked.</p><p>The full moon was illuminating his features, making his scars gain a beautiful contrast and his hair shine. Under that starry sky, right next to Sirius, he looked like something from another world.</p><p>Sirius suddenly felt overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him. </p><p>And that’s what he did.</p><p>He urged forward in one swift move and pressed his lips to Remus’. He barely had time to register the amazing feeling of incredibly soft lips against his own when he felt the other man tense up in surprise and he caught on to what he was doing.</p><p>He kissed Remus Lupin. He freaking kissed him.</p><p>He jumped of out the kiss in desperation and moved across to the opposite side of the balcony, trying to put the most distance he could between them.</p><p>“I am so sorry, Remus! Fuck! I don’t know what came over me, I am so, so sorry, please forgiv—mmmph”</p><p>His mortified ramble was cut short because Sirius suddenly found himself with a mouthful of Remus. </p><p>It was his time to be utterly shocked. He gasped into the kiss, so Remus took that as an opportunity to start moving his mouth against his. From that moment, Sirius was a goner.</p><p>He let his eyes flutter closed as he kissed back with everything he had, determined not to let his inexperience get in the way.</p><p>They moved their lips together softly, and Sirius was on cloud nine. He felt Remus’ arms circle his waist, pulling him closer and closer. Just as he thought the kiss couldn’t get any better, he felt a tongue caress his bottom lip, asking for entrance. </p><p>He certainly obliged, and oh...Sirius was definitely in heaven, he felt like he was floating. He had never felt so good, so alive. </p><p>‘I could kiss him for the rest of my life and die as a happy man.’ </p><p>However, way sooner than what Sirius wanted, Remus broke the kiss and let go of him, panting heavily. </p><p>“Fuck...Sirius, we...we can’t.”</p><p>Sirius felt his heart breaking into a million pieces. A few second ago he was madly kissing the man he loved. And now, that same man was rejecting him.</p><p>“Why not?” he asked in a whisper, hoping he didn’t sound as broken as he felt. </p><p>He probably did, though, because Remus’ face contorted in pain. </p><p>“Sirius...you know why. You are a prince, the future king, and I am a servant, a Six, a—“</p><p>“Don’t,” Sirius interrupted him, “Do you really think that I care about your caste? Well, I don’t. I don’t give a crap.”</p><p>“You don’t, but the whole country does, Sirius,” Remus retorted. </p><p>“Please, Remus, don’t do this,” Sirius pleaded in desperation, taking his hands on his own, “Don’t throw this away.” </p><p>Remus looked down at his feet, biting his lip and looking like he was on the verge of tears. Sirius could almost feel the conflict irradiating from him. </p><p>“You make me happy, Remus,” he told the boy in front of him, “And I know that we shouldn’t throw away things that make us happy, no matter how hard they can be.”</p><p>He paused for a second to gather some more courage. This was it.</p><p>“The question is if you want this too. Do you?”</p><p>Remus looked up at him again, eyes burning through his soul.</p><p>“I do. More than anything.”</p><p>Sirius felt his heart leap out of his chest and he wondered if Remus would be able to hear it from how loud it was beating.</p><p>“Then let us have this. Please.”</p><p>The silence stretched for what like felt minutes, and Sirius felt like he was going to throw up. His hands, that were still grabbing Remus’, were all sweaty. </p><p>Just as Sirius was about to admit defeat and excuse himself to go back to his chambers and cry on his pillow, Remus gave him a small nod.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Sirius blinked once. Twice. Had he just said...?</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>And then Remus’ face split up into a beautiful smile, even brighter than the moon. He took one step forward and rested his forehead against Sirius’. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>And then their lips met again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Clearing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter was one of my favorites to write!! a lot of wolfstar!!! 🐺⭐️❤️</p><p>(oh and all the chapters have names now yayy)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, Sirius was sitting at his table at the Great Hall for breakfast, eating his carefully made pancakes when the sound of the door opening caught his attention.</p><p>He felt his heart quicken and had to bite his lip to contain a huge smile as he saw who was entering the room and images of the previous night flooded his brain.</p><p>After they first kissed, him and Remus had stayed almost an hour talking, kissing and just staring at each other with heart eyes before Sirius had finally walked back to his chambers. </p><p>Remus stepped into the Great Hall with a big tray on his hands and immediately turned to the royal family.</p><p>“Good morning, Your Majesties,” he bowed professionally, careful not to loose his balance.</p><p>Sirius’ parents completely ignored the greeting, and as Remus lifted his head back up, Sirius managed to catch his eyes for a second, which was all he needed. He swiftly led his hand to his left ear and tugged at it, letting out a relieved sigh as Remus discretely did the same.</p><p>Sirius bit back another smile. He had suggested they came up with some sort of signal, something to let them know the other wanted to talk without raising any suspects. That was their new code, just between them, and it felt special. </p><p>He finished his pancakes and turned his head to where Remus now stood. His eyes involuntary lingered for a second on the five most recent empty seats in the back. </p><p>Five more women, gone. Sirius had been informed, as soon as he woke up, that they had demanded immediate departure from the palace due to the attacks. He honestly couldn’t blame them.</p><p>He didn’t pay much more attention to that, though, as he was too caught up on observing the boy. He watched the way he moved, how he effortlessly carried the tray with just one hand while he served milk to The Selected.</p><p>Sirius had just taken a sip of his coffee when suddenly Remus turned his back to where he sat in order to attend to another woman, and Sirius was greeted with a spectacular view of his backside.</p><p>He choked on the hot liquid and felt his mouth water as he stared shamelessly at the curves of Remus’ ass, that was trapped in tight white pants. And oh man, what an ass.</p><p>‘How am I supposed to control myself when he looks like that?’ </p><p>“Sirius? What’s going on? You’re drooling,” Sirius was startled out of his trance by Regulus’ voice close to his ear, not louder than a whisper.</p><p>He looked at his brother, that was staring at him quizzically, and tried to shake himself out of the direction that his (not so pure) thoughts were going. That was definitely not the time or place to that type of fantasies. </p><p>“Oh nothing, got distracted, haha,” he laughed a little, putting his most innocent smile on and trying not to sound so tense.</p><p>It probably worked, since Regulus merely shrugged and went back to eating his muffins. </p><p>Sirius let out a relieved sigh and traveled his look back to Remus, hoping to be able to appreciate the sight a little longer, but Remus had already turned back. He swallowed his disappointment and went back to observe the man as he worked.</p><p>However, as he looked at him, Sirius began to notice something that he hadn’t before. He saw that many of the women were treating Remus really badly, as he was as worthless as the old tray he carried. He also saw at least four of them  throwing him weird looks as he passed, as well as rudely giving him orders. </p><p>Sirius immediately felt anger begin to rise through him as he watched the scene. Remus seemed completely unbothered by that, though, and Sirius knew the other man had probably had to deal with things like that all of his life, which only made him even more furious.</p><p>‘How many people had been treated like this right in front of my eyes before?’ he asked himself as he looked down at his hands in shame. </p><p>However, Sirius quickly lifted his head again as, not even a minute later, a high pitched scream reached his ears, and he began to search for the source. </p><p>He immediately froze as he found Ambrosia Parkinson looking at Remus with a disgusted look on her face.</p><p>“Be careful! Stand further when you are serving us something, I don’t want a servant’s clothes brushing on me. Low class people like you should know where you belong.”</p><p>Sirius vaguely heard a few low chuckles and some shocked gasps, but his mind didn’t register anything other than the feeling of his blood boiling with fury and his fists clenching. </p><p>He quickly glanced at Remus and saw that his face had turned a dark shade of red, and he lowered his head as he apologized to the girl, looking like he wanted to disappear.</p><p>Later, Sirius would realize it would have been probably wiser if he’d waited for a more private moment, but at the time, he was so angry he couldn’t think straight. </p><p>That was Remus right there, being humiliated in front of everyone, and he couldn’t just sit and let that happen.</p><p>“Miss Parkinson, can I talk to you outside for a moment?” he called her in a cold voice, face hard as a stone.</p><p>Sirius barely contained a triumphant grin as he saw the cruel smirk on her face turn into a shocked and apprehensive expression.</p><p>She quickly got up and followed him as he marched to the doors. The guards opened them and they both stepped outside.</p><p>“Yes, Your Highness?” Ambrosia bowed her head a little and looked at him, batting her eye lashes. Sirius suppressed an eye roll at that.</p><p>“I am afraid that your time to go has arrived, Miss Parkinson,” he informed her formally, hands behind his back.</p><p>Ambrosia’s mouth dropped open in shock as she stared at him, clearly not understanding a thing.</p><p>“Your Highness, I...I am sorry, did I do something wrong?” </p><p>“Yes, you did. I saw how you treated our employee inside, and I will not tolerate that kind of behavior here.” </p><p>“But I—“</p><p>“No buts, Miss Parkinson,” he didn’t hesitate in cutting her off before turning to the guard that was standing beside the door, “Excuse me, Officer, would you please take Miss Parkinson to her chambers and prepare her to depart?” </p><p>“Of course, Your Highness, right away.”</p><p>Sirius stood there as the guard tried to escort Ambrosia upstairs, which wasn’t an easy task, he might add. </p><p>He was about to get back inside when the door opened again, this time by Remus, face still flushed. Sirius visibly relaxed at the sight of him, and of course Remus noticed. </p><p>The other man quickly looked around to see if there were any guards around before turning to Sirius again.</p><p>“What happened? You seem tense. Where is Miss Parkinson?”</p><p>“I sent her away. I couldn’t let her treat you like that.”</p><p>“You...what? Away as in...back home?”</p><p>Sirius simply nodded, suddenly feeling a bit shy, and Remus’ eyes nearly popped out of his head as he stared thunderstruck at him.</p><p>He felt himself blushing slightly underneath Remus’ piercing and amazed gaze and quickly changed the subject, knowing they shouldn’t be talking like that where anyone could see.</p><p>“I wanted to talk to you,” he made a gesture to his left ear, referring to their special signal, “Meet me in my room tonight, at midnight. I have a surprise.”</p><p>Remus’ eyebrows shot up at that, but a beautiful smile appeared on his face.</p><p>“Oh, a surprise, huh? What are you planning?”</p><p>Sirius simply smirked at him. </p><p>“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?” </p><p>He saw Remus’ eyes shine and the man giggled. HE GIGGLED. Sirius almost passed out right there from the cuteness. </p><p>“You are so cute,” the words escaped his lips without permission, but he didn’t even bother being embarrassed. The look on Remus’ face was worth it. </p><p>Then suddenly, Remus carefully looked at their surroundings again and Sirius felt a warm pressure on his lips. He briefly wondered how even a quick peck like that could make his knees weaken. </p><p>“What was that for?” he asked him, sounding dazed.</p><p>Remus simply shrugged and smiled, “For being you. Now go, before someone suspects anything.” </p><p>Then he turned around, threw a wink behind his shoulders and walked away, leaving Sirius with a stunned and stupid smile on his face. </p><p>Sirius shook his head to get himself together before entering the Great Hall again. Breakfast was nearly finishing already, and as soon as he took his seat, Walburga turned to him. </p><p>“Where were you? Where’s Ambrosia?” </p><p>He winced at her tone and braced himself for her reaction. </p><p>“I sent her home.”</p><p>“You did what?!” </p><p>Walburga’s outburst was so loud that even some of The Selected looked over to them in shock. She took a deep breath and tried to act as if everything was normal. </p><p>“Why did you do that?” she demanded, although more civilized this time.</p><p>Ambrosia Parkinson was a Two, daughter of an abundantly wealthy family, and would serve as a good connection in the politic area. So of course, she had been one of the queen’s favorites.</p><p>“I just didn’t like her attitude,” he answered as calmly as possible. </p><p>Walburga shook her head in a mixture of anger and disappointment, and Sirius couldn’t figure out which one was worse. </p><p>“I don’t know what you are planning, Sirius Black. But I swear to you on my life, I won’t let it work.” </p><p>Sirius wanted to yell at her. She wasn’t his mother, she was the woman that had been ruining his life since he was old enough to remember. He wished he could just give everything up and live the way that he wanted to live. However, he remained silent. </p><p>At that moment, he wished he wasn’t Royalty. He wished he wasn’t One. </p><p>“It is time you realize where you belong,” she finished her breakfast and left the table, not looking back. </p><p>Sirius sighed miserably and glanced at the women’s table one more time. </p><p>Now there were only 21. Just like that. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Two minutes had passed since midnight when the low knocks echoed through Sirius’ door. </p><p>He jumped out of his bed in excitement and took a quick look in the mirror as he wanted to look nice. He passed his hands through his hair to straighten it and opened the door. </p><p>Remus was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue jumper that made him look adorable. His hair was wet, so he had probably just showered. </p><p>Sirius didn’t wait a second before he grabbed Remus by the jumper and dragged him inside the room, pulling him for a deep, brain melting kiss. </p><p>They parted after a few seconds, both flushed and out of breath. </p><p>“What was that for?” Remus asked him jokingly.</p><p>“For being you,” Sirius replied in the same tone and took his left hand, “So, are you ready for some mischief?”</p><p>“As long as you don’t get us both killed, I’m all in.”</p><p>“How dare you?” Sirius looked at Remus with mock offense, “I am outraged. How can you have so little faith in me?”</p><p>“Such a drama queen.”</p><p>Sirius laughed and squeezed his hand.</p><p>“Come on, we must be going. Don’t want you falling from exhaustion at work tomorrow.”</p><p>They left the room and Sirius led Remus through the long corridors of the palace until they reached the garden, extremely careful not to be seen by any guards.</p><p>“Isn’t this too dangerous? The guards make rounds in the garden too, right?” Remus worriedly asked him.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you’ll see.”</p><p>Hand in hand, they walked a few more yards until they reached a large, big oak tree, standing in an isolated corner.</p><p>“Ready?” </p><p>Remus looked at him in confusion but Sirius just smiled and grabbed his hand again. He pushed some leaves to the side, pulled Remus with him and...</p><p>Suddenly they were stepping into a small clearing. On the opposite side of the tree stood a part of the east side of the palace’s wall, but there were no windows, so they couldn’t be seen by anyone on the inside.</p><p>The only light present was coming from a couple of lamps allocated on the rugged wall, giving a serene environment to the place, and the grass overgrown, but not in an unpleasant way.</p><p>Anyway, none of those things were what was drawing the attention. Right in the middle of the clearing, a picnic towel was spread on the ground, with a big basket carefully placed on top of it.</p><p>Sirius nervously turned to look at Remus as they entered. The man’s eyes were wide open and his jaw had dropped as he took in the scene.</p><p>“I used to come here a lot when I was little,” Sirius explained when he couldn’t stand the silence anymore, feeling inexplicably self conscious, “Regulus and I would play hide and seek a lot, but one day I tripped on the tree while trying to hide and...well, I found this place. I never told anyone, but I thought maybe you’d like it.” </p><p>“Sirius, I...,” Remus still seemed stunned, “This is amazing, I loved it.”</p><p>Relief immediately filled Sirius and his confident self returned.</p><p>“I am glad! Here,” he took the other’s hand and dragged him to the picnic basket, “I wanted to do something nice for you, so I brought some stuff. I remember you told me you adore chocolate, so there are some muffins and cookies and—“</p><p>He was interrupted by a kiss, and his eyes closed as he savored the sweet feeling. He would never get tired of being kissed by Remus.</p><p>“I loved it, Sirius,” Remus’ eyes and smile were shinning, “Thank you. And thank you for showing this place to me.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me. You are special, just like this place. Now come here.”</p><p>They sat in the towel and Sirius handed Remus the basket, and soon they were both enjoying the chocolate muffins. </p><p>“Oh, I almost forgot!” Remus suddenly said as he finished to swallow a big amount of chocolate, “I am almost finishing the book, there is only one chapter left. I brought it here, I thought maybe we could finish it together?”</p><p>Sirius noticed for the first time the small book in his jumper’s pocket. He could see the joy in Remus’ expression for having read almost the entire book, and Sirius couldn’t help but feel extremely proud of the man. </p><p>“Of course. I would love that.”</p><p>Remus carefully opened the book and placed it in a position where they both could see the pages, but Sirius had another idea. </p><p>“Would you read it to me?”</p><p>Remus hesitated slightly as if he was embarrassed. He opened his mouth, but Sirius was faster and took his hands in his own. </p><p>“Please?”</p><p>Something in Sirius’ face must have weakened Remus because he gave a small nod and squeezed the other’s hands. </p><p>“Alright. I am not very good, though.”</p><p>“You are perfect.”</p><p>They sat beside the wall and Sirius surprised even himself as he rested his head on Remus’ lap. Not even a second later, though, gentle fingers began to caress his long hair, and he couldn’t hold in a content sigh. </p><p>Remus chuckled slightly down at him, “Comfortable there, are you?”</p><p>Sirius hummed, eyes closed, and waited patiently. Soon, he heard an intake of breath and the words began to fall out of Remus’ lips. </p><p>His voice was soft and soothing, and combining that to the fingers in his hair, Sirius almost fell asleep. Then, a while later, he heard the familiar, melancholic words that marked the end of the book, and opened his eyes. </p><p>“Wow,” was what came out of Remus’ lips, “I am...I am speechless. Really, I don’t even know what to say?”</p><p>“What did you think? Did you like it?” Sirius asked him expectantly. </p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Remus looked at him as if he was crazy, “This is a fucking masterpiece!”</p><p>“Oh my God, Remus, don’t scare me like that!” he sat down and shoved him, but laughing anyway. </p><p>“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”</p><p>That’s when Sirius noticed chocolate on Remus’ bottom lip, and he leaned forward to lick it. </p><p>He felt Remus shiver as his tongue traced it and reluctantly pulled back. </p><p>“You had chocolate on your lip.”</p><p>The look that Remus gave him as he bit his lip at that moment was a new one, one that made every inch of Sirius’ body grow incredibly hot. It seemed like...hunger. </p><p>Too caught up in the moment, Sirius blurt out the first thing that came to his mind. </p><p>“You were my first kiss, you know?”</p><p>The words barely slipped out and he already covered his mouth with his hands in panic. </p><p>‘Why the hell did I just say that?!?!’</p><p>Remus’ brain seemed to be short circuiting as he was just staring at Sirius with a shocked expression. </p><p>“I...what?”</p><p>“Nothing! Nothing! I didn’t say anything, don’t mind me, haha,” he desperately tried to fix the situation and dodged his eyes to the other side of the clearing, but it was no use. </p><p>He felt Remus’ fingers curl around his chin and turn his head gently to look at him. </p><p>“Sirius. Did you just say I was your first kiss?”</p><p>Sirius looked down in defeat and nodded. He wanted the earth to just swallow him whole.</p><p>“You didn’t kiss any of those girls?” he could feel the surprise in Remus’ tone, and he didn’t like that. He wanted Remus to know he was the only one for Sirius.</p><p>He looked up at him. </p><p>“No. Just you.”</p><p>Then Remus did what he least expected him to do. He studied Sirius’ face for a moment before licking his lips and kissing him. Hungrily. </p><p>Sirius gasped in delighted surprise and their tongues immediately began a passionate battle, making both of them dizzy. </p><p>Their hands began to travel their bodies, searching for the most contact possible, both getting lost in each other. </p><p>Suddenly, they both found themselves laying on the grass, with Remus’ back touching the ground and Sirius straddling his hips. </p><p>They continued kissing as if nothing else mattered in the world. Sirius shuddered in pleasure as hands found their way to the edge of his shirt and pulled it up, exploring the skin there. </p><p>He pulled his lips off Remus’ only to start kissing his so inviting neck, earning a mixture between a gasp and a small moan from Remus’ mouth. </p><p>Sirius tentatively licked the skin there, next to his collarbone, and now the other man definitely moaned. He wanted to hear more, to make Remus fall apart underneath him.</p><p>Only a second later, Sirius was rewarded with two hands firmly cupping his ass and giving it a good squeeze, and it was his time to moan. </p><p>Remus’ smell, taste and touch were intoxicating, and it didn’t take long at all before Sirius’ pants began to feel uncomfortably tight. </p><p>However, much to his disappointment, Remus removed his hands from his ass and gently placed them on his chest and pulled back a little, panting heavily and resting their foreheads together. </p><p>His pupils were dark and dilated, and Sirius thought he had never looked so gorgeous. He wondered if he looked the same.</p><p>“This is the last thing that I want to do, but...we should probably stop,” Remus whispered with their lips only a few inches apart. </p><p>“Yeah, I know.”</p><p>They both were reluctant to do so, but eventually they untangled themselves and laid side by side, catching their breath.</p><p>Sirius looked to the side to find Remus looking back at him, and suddenly they were both laughing hysterically at their situation. </p><p>Once they had calmed down and were peacefully looking at the dark sky, Remus cupped Sirius’ hand and turned to his side. </p><p>“I am glad I was your first kiss.”</p><p>Sirius smiled affectionately at him.</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the moment and each other, hand in hand, until Sirius broke the silence.</p><p>“Remus?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“How was your life before? Like, when you lived with your parents?”</p><p>Sirius held his breath, afraid that he had just crossed a line. Remus must have sensed that, because he squeezed Sirius’ hand in reassurance. </p><p>“Well, I lived in a small house in a village with mom and dad, like I already told you. Mom was the most kind, caring and positive person I have ever known, she used to brighten a room just by entering it.”</p><p>Remus paused for a brief moment and Sirius could see a nostalgic, but happy smile on his face as he remembered his family.</p><p>“And dad,” he let out a laugh, “Dad was a clown, really. If I was having a bad day, I would come to him and two minutes later I would be full on laughing.”</p><p>Sirius smiled at him, mesmerized by Remus’ descriptions. He wondered what it was like to live with a family like that. </p><p>“I started working when I was pretty young ‘cause we needed all the money we could get. Mom worked in a big house near town, so she started taking me to work when I was about eight. I actually made a friend, but for a really small amount of time, since the family that lived there was a Two and the parents didn’t want their daughter playing with a future servant, you know?”</p><p>Sirius’ face immediately darkened, “That is ridiculous.”</p><p>He didn’t even realize he was squeezing Remus’ hand with much more force.</p><p>“It wasn’t a big deal, I was used to it.”</p><p>“Well, you shouldn’t have to be.” </p><p>Remus shoot him a grateful smile and pressed a light kiss to his lips, “Not everyone has a kind heart like yours.” </p><p>He didn’t give Sirius time to reply and kept on talking. </p><p>“Anyway, I normally watched her doing the service and when I turned ten I started working as well, in the same house. It was good, because I got to spend more time with her. It went on like that until she passed away a few months after my eleventh birthday,” Remus paused for a second to clear his throat and Sirius’ heart squeezed painfully. </p><p>He began to caress the man’s arm in an effort to comfort him while he kept talking.</p><p>“After that, I began working in a house next to where my dad worked, and I remained their employee until I came here.” </p><p>Sirius slowly nodded, processing all the new informations. </p><p>“Do you miss them a lot? Your parents?”</p><p>“Every day. But at least I have a lot of good memories of them. It makes me fell like they’re here with me.”</p><p>Sirius gently lifted his hand an reached up to brush a few strands of hair from the man’s forehead, who sighed appreciated, closing his eyes.</p><p>“Were you happy?” </p><p>Another smile reached Remus’ face and he opened his eyes again. </p><p>“Yes, I was. Life wasn’t easy, never has been, but I was happy. We were happy.” </p><p>Sirius felt as if a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders, as if knowing Remus had been happy, despite all the difficulties in his life, brought him peace. </p><p>“And are you happy now?” he asked vulnerably, and he knew his anxiety was transparent in his voice, but he couldn’t help it. </p><p>But Remus’ eyes enlightened as he looked at Sirius’ face, like he was he most precious thing in the world. </p><p>“I am.” </p><p>A relieved laughter escaped from Sirius, “Okay, good.”</p><p>Remus chuckled and then a cautious look appeared on his face. Sirius was about to ask what was the matter when he spoke. </p><p>“And what about you?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Sirius asked in confusion.</p><p>“What about your life?”</p><p>Sirius felt himself freeze. He definitely wasn’t expecting that question. </p><p>“My life? You already know how my life was,” he answered nervously. </p><p>“Only what the media showed us, but not about your real life.” </p><p>Sirius swallowed dry, not knowing how to reply to that. Should he tell him about the lack of parental love in his life? That the only people that had ever said ‘I love you’ to him were Regulus and James? Should he tell him about all the emotional and physical abuse that his parents had put him under through the years? </p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” Sirius heard Remus’ voice next to his ear and a hand rubbing his back. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, umm,” he stuttered before taking a deep breath and continuing decidedly, “My parents aren’t really the best.”</p><p>Sirius shrugged and tried to act as if it didn’t matter, but him and Remus both knew that it did matter. A lot.</p><p>“Since I was younger and Regulus was born, they were instantly drawn to him, you know? Like he was exactly the son that they wanted. And with me,” Sirius took a raged breath, “Well, it was never like that with me.”</p><p>He waited to see if Remus would say something but he was just waiting patiently for Sirius to continue.</p><p>“For a long time I couldn’t understand it, you know? Like, why did they love him more than they loved me? Did I do something wrong? Was there something wrong with me?”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Remus interrupted him immediately. </p><p>“I know that now, I guess. I think that they just noticed right away that I was going to be different, and they didn’t like that.” </p><p>Remus hummed understandably and his eyes were unfocused like he was in deep thought. After a minute had passed, he turned to Sirius again. </p><p>“Never doubt yourself because of your parents, Sirius. You are way better than they will ever be.”</p><p>Sirius’ heart melted and he felt himself beginning to get emotional.</p><p>‘Damn, I am getting too emotional these days,’ he thought.</p><p>“Talking about the queen and king like that, huh?” he joked, though it was still clear the effect that Remus’ words had had on him.</p><p>The boy just smiled, shrugged and answered sincerely. </p><p>“You are worth it.”</p><p>They both leaned in at the same time and shared another kiss, filled with emotions and feelings. </p><p>When they separated, Remus asked the same question that Sirius had.</p><p>“Are you happy now?” </p><p>Sirius could see himself from a few moments ago reflected on Remus now, a mix of anxiety and insecurity, and replied without any hesitation.</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>And he really was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Misunderstandings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later, Remus had been peacefully cleaning the kitchen and humming a few songs to himself when suddenly a pair of arms attacked him from behind. </p><p>“Boo!” Lily shouted at his ear while she tickled his sides, and he almost jumped out of his skin.</p><p>“Jesus, Lily! You need to stop scaring me like that!”</p><p>She let out a full laugh at his distraught face and hugged him quickly, “No way, it’s too funny.” </p><p>He huffed and shoved her jokingly, “Stop being mean and help me clean this, Miss Evans.” </p><p>“Your wish is a command, Mister Lupin.” </p><p>As they worked, Remus couldn’t help but notice that Lily’s radiant smile refused to leave her face even as they cleaned the dirtiest parts of the kitchen, and her eyes were shinning more brightly than usual.</p><p>“I guess someone is in a good mood,” he sang next to her, not missing the blush that spread through her cheeks, “How is James, by the way, that guy you hate so much?”</p><p>“Oh, sod off, Lupin!” </p><p>“No way, it’s too funny,” he answered her with a playful smirk.</p><p>“Haha, Remus, you are hilarious,” Lily rolled her eyes at him but it was obvious that she was trying her hardest not to laugh.</p><p>“I know I am, thank you very much. But seriously now, how are things going with James?”</p><p>Lily’s face instantly gained a dreamy look and her eyes unfocused, as if she was lost in the depths of her mind. </p><p>“He is so great. It’s incredible how much he’d changed since we first met, he is so much more mature now. We talked a lot after I kissed him last week, and we spent a lot of time together. I think...I think I really love him, Rem.” </p><p>Remus smiled widely at his friend. She had been so terrified when they were under the attack, afraid that she would never be able to tell James how she really felt. Seeing her happy like this meant everything to him.</p><p>“I am so happy for you, Lily. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”</p><p>The look Lily gave him after he said that, although it was filled with love and gratitude, also made it clear what she wanted to ask him. </p><p>Lily had been suspecting that Remus also loved someone since his feelings had started, even if she didn’t know that it was to Sirius that his heart belonged to.</p><p>However, she didn’t say anything about that, much to Remus’ relief. She just reached her hand and grabbed his, giving it a firm squeeze. </p><p>“You do too, Remus. Don’t forget that.”</p><p>They both dropped the subject and continued chatting and making fun of each other for a few minutes, sometimes laughing so hard that the rest of the staff would even throw them annoyed looks as they worked.</p><p>However, they both went quiet as the door was suddenly burst opened and no one other than Minerva stepped into the kitchen, followed closely by a short, chubby man.</p><p>“Good morning, everyone,” she greeted them politely and then gestured to the figure behind her, “This is Mister Pettigrew. He arrived at the palace today and will begin working here with you. I expect you all give him a warm welcome and help him through any difficulties.” </p><p>Minerva stepped aside so he could go forward and then turned to him.</p><p>“Good luck, Mister Pettigrew,” she went through the door again and left the kitchen without another word. </p><p>Remus watched as the man looked around the room, clearly lost, and immediately went over to him, offering a friendly hand.</p><p>“Hi, I am Remus. It’s nice to meet you.”</p><p>Pettigrew carefully looked at his extended hand, as if he didn’t really know what to do with it, and then lifted his head to look at him. </p><p>They stared at each other for only a few seconds before the man’s lips curved into a smile and he took Remus’ hand in a firm handshake.</p><p>“It’s really nice to meet you, Remus. I am Peter.”</p><p>Just as he introduced himself, Remus heard Lily approaching him from behind and she also extended a hand to Peter, who quickly accepted it.</p><p>“Hi, Peter, I am Lily,” she smiled gently at him and gestured around them, “This is your home now, so I hope you feel very welcomed. If you need anything, me and this guy here will be glad to help you.”</p><p>“I appreciate it a lot, Lily, Remus.”</p><p>“So, Peter,” Lily continued, and Remus realized she was trying to make him feel more comfortable around them already, “Why did you decide to come work here? Do you live nearby?”</p><p>“Oh yes, I live in a small house not too far from here. I was in need of a new job, so I decided to see if the royal family was looking for more employees, with The Selection and all.”</p><p>The three of them chatted for a bit before making their way to the back of the kitchen. Remus and Lily were just about to start teaching Peter some of the most important rules when the clock sounded 11AM.</p><p>“Lily, I almost forgot,” Remus quickly took of his apron and placed it on one of the small hooks on the wall, “I have to make today’s round through the bedrooms, see if the selected women need anything.”</p><p>“It’s okay, Rem,” she immediately reassured him, “You go and I will show Peter here some stuff.”</p><p>Remus nodded and kissed her lightly on the cheek, said goodbye to Peter and left the kitchen in a hurry. </p><p>Once he got to the third floor, he knocked on the first door and waited for a while, but no one answered. By that point, all the women knew that a servant would always knock on their door sometime around 11, so some of them simply ignored the knocks when they didn’t need anything. </p><p>After making sure that no one would come, Remus moved on to the rest of the corridor. However, just as he made the turn to the next one, the sight in front of him made him stop dead in his tracks. </p><p>Sirius was there. And he was kissing someone else. His right hand was placed on the woman’s left arm, while both of her hands rested firmly on his shoulders.</p><p>Remus’ mind vaguely redid the talk they had had a few days earlier at the clearing, as they sat only centimeters away from each other, sharing the same air and being illuminated by the stars, like they were the only two people that mattered in the whole world. </p><p>‘You didn’t kiss any of those girls?’ Remus had asked him. </p><p>‘No. Just you.’ </p><p>Remus felt as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and squeezed it tightly as he stared at the scene. Without even noticing it, he let out a rather loud sob before quickly turning around and walking away, tears finally falling from his eyes. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything was going well.</p><p>Until it didn’t.</p><p>The clock had just marked 11AM and Sirius found himself arm linked with Marlene McKinnon as they returned from their morning date. </p><p>It had been a bit over a month since The Selection had started, so the dates had become more and more frequent due to his people’s (and mother’s) pressures.</p><p>That day, they had been supposed to go to the stables and pick up the horses for a ride at the palace’s fields. There, a bunch of camera men had been waiting for them, desperate to capture a glimpse of their moment and broadcast it to the nation. </p><p>“The ride was fun, wasn’t it?” Marlene’s voice reached his ears, “The fields are lovely this time of the year.”</p><p>“It was, indeed. I really enjoyed it,” Sirius grinned at her and saw a radiant smile reach her beautiful face.</p><p>And much to Sirius’ own surprise, he found he wasn’t lying at all. He had discovered recently that Marlene was, in fact, a very nice company. She was smart, funny and polite, and Sirius had a feeling that she would be an amazing queen. </p><p>Therefore, he couldn’t help but wonder if, in another life, she would have been the right choice. Maybe, if his and Remus’ paths hadn’t crossed, he could have eventually learned to be happy with her, maybe even grown to love her. But she wasn’t who he really wanted, and life wasn’t made by ‘maybes’ or ‘ifs’.</p><p>Sirius was so immersed in his thoughts he didn’t even noticed that they had approached the palace’s gate until he heard someone speaking to him.</p><p>“Good morning, Your Highness.”</p><p>He looked over to find a man he had never seen before, wearing a guard’s uniform and moving to open the gate for them. </p><p>“Excuse me, are you new here?” he asked him politely, “I am certain I have never seen you in the palace before.”</p><p>“Oh, yes, Your Highness,” the man finished opening the gate and stepped aside so they could enter, bowing his head slightly, “I was transferred here yesterday, arrived at night.” </p><p>“Oh, well, very nice to meet you, then, Officer...”</p><p>“Longbottom, Your Highness. Frank Longbottom.”</p><p>‘This is the funniest last name I have ever heard,’ the thought crossed Sirius’ head and he fought a laughter from coming to the surface.</p><p>“Well, welcome to the palace, Officer Longbottom.”</p><p>“Thank you, Your Highness. I appreciate it.” </p><p>They passed by the man and made their way to the third floor, reaching Marlene’s bedroom just a couple of minutes later.</p><p>That’s when it all went terribly wrong. They both stopped in front of the bedroom’s door and Sirius turned to Marlene.</p><p>“I had an amazing time, dear,” he said truthfully.</p><p>“I certainly did too, Your Highness. I think we make a really good couple, don’t you think?” Marlene asked, and Sirius vaguely noticed a different glimpse in her eyes as she looked up at him.</p><p>However, Sirius didn’t even have the time to think much about that or to say anything as, in the next second, a pair of lips was firmly pressed against his. </p><p>Sirius felt himself immediately freeze, eyes wide opened in shock. His mind was working non stop, trying to get a reaction from him, but with no success.</p><p>He just stood there in the middle of the hallway, not actually kissing her back, but not pushing her away either. </p><p>And then, he heard it. A sob, coming from his left. </p><p>He broke the kiss and looked over at the direction of the sound, just in time to find a retreating figure turning the corridor. </p><p>Sirius recognized the person instantly, and immediately began panicking. He would recognize him anywhere.</p><p>Remus.</p><p>Remus had seen him kissing someone else. He had seem him kissing Marlene. Actually, he wasn’t really kissing her but Remus had no way of knowing that.</p><p>Sirius felt sweat begin to cripple on his forehead and his breath became more raged. He was only startled back to the moment a few seconds later by Marlene’s concerned voice.</p><p>“Your Highness? Is everything alright?” </p><p>“Yes, yes, of course, I just...,” he trailed off, barely registering the look of confusion and hurt on the woman’s face, “I need to get going, Marlene, if you’ll excuse me. I am so sorry.”</p><p>And with that, Sirius turned around and left in a hurry. He was so agitated he almost couldn’t think straight. </p><p>Sirius immediately took the stairs and went down to the second floor as fast as he could, knocking on Remus’ door once he approached it.</p><p>Nothing. </p><p>‘The gardens,’ the thought crossed his mind. Remus loved the gardens, that would definitely be a place he would go to if he was upset. </p><p>Sirius was walking so fast that he even received some confused glances from the guards that he passed by, but he didn’t even care. Just a few minutes later, he reached the gardens and began looking for Remus.</p><p>But again, nothing. </p><p>‘He must be back in the kitchens, working,’ he sighed in defeat and went back inside.</p><p>Sirius was almost reaching his chambers when he suddenly felt someone touching his shoulder.</p><p>“Hey, man, how was the date?” </p><p>He turned around to see James smiling brightly at him, but the smile vanished as soon as he processed the look on Sirius’ face. </p><p>“Did something happen?”</p><p>‘Well, the man I love just saw me kissing someone else, so if you would call that something, then yeah, something definitely happened,’ Sirius almost lost control and blurted everything out, but managed to bite his tongue and keep the thought to himself.</p><p>“No,” he smiled, hoping it didn’t look too fake, “The date was great, I am just a bit tired.”</p><p>James eyed him suspiciously, a frown appearing between his eyebrows, and Sirius held his breath to control his nerves.</p><p>James had known Sirius for years, and they used to tell each other everything. Sirius couldn’t even count how many times the other man had come to him with many details of his and Lily’s new relationship, which were usually a lot more than he needed to know. Therefore, it was extremely difficult to hide something from him.</p><p>However, after analyzing Sirius closely for a few moments, he gave him a careful nod.</p><p>“Alright, I won’t insist because I have already learned that when you don’t want to talk, it’s better not to push.” </p><p>“Thank y—“</p><p>“But,” James interrupted him and Sirius sighed, “I want you to know that I am here if you need me, alright? Just because I am with Lily now doesn’t mean I will have any less time for you. So if you need me, you know where to find me.”</p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes at the speech like they normally did with each other when the other became too emotional, but his heart secretly warmed up. He was so glad to have James in his life. </p><p>“Alright, you soppy git,” he joked and shoved him lightly before adding with more seriousness, “I will.”</p><p>After that, James patted him on the back and went off to his duties, leaving Sirius alone with his thoughts again. </p><p>He only managed to talk to Remus again when the night arrived. He had stayed all day locked in his room and staring at the ceiling, completely restless as he waited for the time they usually saw each other. </p><p>However, by the time the clock marked nine-thirty, Sirius couldn’t wait any longer. He changed his rumpled clothes for something nicer and walked the now so familiar path that leaded to Remus’ room. </p><p>The door opened a few seconds after Sirius knocked, and his heart immediately broke. Remus’ lips, that were usually curved up into a beautiful, warm smile, were turned downwards in a sad way. His eyes, that were always so bright, were read and puffy, probably from crying.</p><p>‘This is my fault,’ Sirius thought instantly, feeling miserable for having hurt Remus like that.</p><p>“Hey,” Remus greeted softly, and it was clear that he was trying to hide the fact that he was hurt.</p><p>“Hey. Can I come in, please?”</p><p>Remus didn’t say anything, just stepped aside so Sirius could pass by him and enter the room.</p><p>Sirius didn’t even give Remus the time to digest his arrival, and the words blurted out of his mouth the second the door was closed. </p><p>“Remus, I am so sorry. Please, let me explain.” </p><p>The other boy’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion, but Sirius didn’t even register that, he just kept talking.</p><p>“What you saw earlier was—“</p><p>“Wait,” Remus eyes widened and Sirius could see the comprehension dig its way into Remus’ brain, “You saw me there?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Oh,” Remus suddenly lowered his head, seeming unable to look at Sirius’ eyes anymore. He looked embarrassed. </p><p>“No, I’m not mad at you, Sirius, I am—,” he interrupted himself from completing the sentence, letting out a sad sigh, “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong, you know that, right?”</p><p>Technically, Sirius knew that Remus was right. He was in his Selection, after all, so it was only natural that he kissed at least some of the women. However, he couldn’t erase the feeling that he had betrayed Remus somehow. </p><p>“Let me explain anyway, please! She was the one who kissed me, I promise. I froze, and I didn’t know what to do, and I—“</p><p>“Sirius,” Remus cut his ramble short, looking him steadily in the eye, “You don’t need to explain anything, really. This is your Selection, the whole point of it is that you find someone to love between those women, and...”</p><p>It was Sirius’ time to interrupt Remus, voice determinate and slightly angry. </p><p>“Yes, well, I don’t want any of those women, don’t you get that?!” he almost shouted, but took a deep breath to calm himself as he saw the shocked look on Remus’ face. </p><p>“Remus, I just want you.”</p><p>A second passed. Then two. Three. Sirius didn’t know how much time had passed as they stared at each other. It could have been seconds or it could have been months, he just knew that he was hooked. </p><p>Actually, he had been hooked by those amber eyes since the time he had first looked at them, on the day they met.</p><p>Suddenly, warm hands cupped Sirius’ cheeks, making his eyes flutter shut. Only a moment later, though, a soft demand made him open them again.</p><p>“Then kiss me.”</p><p>Sirius happily obliged, and pulled Remus in for a passionate kiss. He grabbed the other man’s sandy hair between his fingers and sighed. Marlene’s lips on his had felt so out of place, so wrong. But that...that just felt right.</p><p>They broke apart for air, but none of them moved away. </p><p>“Go to my chambers tomorrow night. At the same time.” Sirius pleaded him, not even trying to hide the desperation on his voice.</p><p>Remus simply smiled and nodded, lowering himself a bit to put his head on Sirius’ shoulder, his nose pressing against the other’s neck. </p><p>“I will.”</p><p>Sirius felt himself relaxing again and rested his head on top of Remus’. They just stayed like that for a while, enveloped in each other’s arms, breathing each other’s scent.</p><p>Remus felt like home.</p><p>‘I love you, Remus,’ Sirius wanted to say, ‘I love you so much.’</p><p>But he didn’t. At least, not yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. No One Like You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning after the whole ‘kissing Marlene incident’, Sirius was woken up by screams. Really loud ones.</p><p>At first, he thought he had had some kind of nightmare, and quickly checked the clock above his bed for the time. 9 AM. But then, another series of screams soon followed the first one, each of them getting louder and louder.</p><p>Sirius didn’t even bother changing his pijamas and immediately ran to the corridor and began following the direction of the sounds until he felt himself getting closer. </p><p>The commotion was coming from the third floor, right outside someone’s bedroom, but Sirius couldn’t see who’s. But then he looked at the center of the small crowd of servants and selected women that was beginning to form, and he felt his heart stop.</p><p>There was a guard holding Alice’s arms behind her back in what seemed to be a really painful way, and two other guards were doing the same to...another guard? </p><p>Before Sirius could even do anything or process what was going on, he heard his mother’s voice coming from his right, and turned to see her and his father looking at the scene.</p><p>“What on earth is going on here?”</p><p>A guard immediately stepped forward and replied, “My queen, we found this officer kissing this woman, Alice Fortescue, inside her chambers about five minutes ago.”</p><p>Horror immediately filled everyone’s expressions. When Sirius turned to finally take a look at the man’s face, everything suddenly made sense. </p><p>The officer that was being held was Frank Longbottom. Sirius’ mind instantly went back to the conversation he had had with Alice weeks ago.</p><p>‘My heart already belongs to someone else.’</p><p>‘He was going to enlist. We didn’t know where he would go to.’</p><p>He looked at Alice again, and found she was already looking at him, her eyes filled with guilt and shame.</p><p>That was it. The man Alice had talked about was Frank Longbottom, who had started working at the palace the day before. For those who don’t believe in fate, some weird coincidence had led him to the exact place that she had gone to.</p><p>‘But at what cost?’ Sirius thought.</p><p>He had his answer not a second later as his mother’s voice echoed through the hall.</p><p>“You both know the punishment for a crime like this,” she stared at Alice and Frank with a look of pure disgust, “Death.”</p><p>“NO!” Sirius shouted, horrorstruck, and subconsciously took a step forward to block Walburga’s view of the couple, “Mother, I will not allow this.”</p><p>Her head shot up to Sirius so quickly that it almost scared him. Almost. </p><p>“What do you mean, ‘no’? Don’t you understand what they just did? They betrayed us, they betrayed YOU!” </p><p>“I understand perfectly what they did, mother. But this is my Selection, not yours. I won’t let them be killed.”</p><p>Sirius shocked even himself with how firmly he confronted his mother on that, his head raised high so he stood towers above her. </p><p>He could see from the corner of his vision that everyone’s eyes were darting between him and the queen, probably stunned by the confrontation. </p><p>Walburga stayed quiet for a moment, staring daggers at her son, but eventually she spoke up again.</p><p>“Very well. There will be no death sentence,” Sirius let out a relieved sigh, but immediately found out it had been too soon, “The punishment will be whipping.”</p><p>“What?! NO!”</p><p>“And expulsion from the palace,” she continued cruelly, and Sirius could see the satisfaction in her face. </p><p>“Stop it! You can not do this, mother!” </p><p>“I can, and I will. You are not king yet. I am the queen, and it will be done as I say.”</p><p>Sirius desperately turned to his father. Orion was a very cruel man, but he was a little less cruel than Walburga, which was not a difficult thing to achieve.</p><p>But Orion simply shocked his head and ignored Sirius’ pleadings. He looked at the couple being held by the guards and ordered, “Take them to the square.”</p><p>The men immediately obeyed and roughly pushed Alice and Frank in the direction of the square. Sirius turned to his father for the last time.</p><p>“Father, please—“</p><p>“I don’t care if you like this woman, Sirius. She is a traitor, and both of them deserve death. We are being kind enough already.”</p><p>And with that, Orion and Walburga turned and followed the guards. Sirius stood there for a moment, failing to process the situation, until a voice called him.</p><p>“Sirius. Are you okay?” </p><p>It was Regulus. His brother was looking at him with worry and something that looked like compassion.</p><p>“Come on,” he continued once Sirius stayed silent for too long, “Let’s go.”</p><p>When Sirius and Regulus arrived at the palace’s square, Alice and Frank had already been tied up to a post in the center, and their father was standing next to them. </p><p>“Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom,” Orion’s voice was strong and powerful, and everyone suddenly went quiet, “You are both being accused of high treason against the royal family, especially your future king, Sirius Black. As a sign of great mercy, you will escape death today. However, you will each be whipped five times on the back, banned from the palace for the rest of your lives and become Eight.” </p><p>The people had formed a circle around them, and Sirius’ blood ran cold when he saw two other men approaching the now large crowd, each caring a big whip in their hands. </p><p>An officer suddenly went closer to the couple and abruptly ripped Frank’s shirt, exposing his bare back, and did the exact same to Alice’s dress in sequence.</p><p>Sirius threw one more desperate look in his parents’ direction, but his mother’s firm command echoed through the open space anyway.</p><p>“Let the whipping begin.”</p><p>Everyone turned their attentions to the two officers and the long objects that were now high up in the air. Then suddenly, they were lowered in a fast, swift move and the first blows were heard.</p><p>“One!”</p><p>Alice’s and Frank’s cries reached Sirius’ ears, and he flinched so hard that Regulus immediately grabbed his hand.</p><p>“Two!”</p><p>The couple’s backs were already raw, but there were still three blows left to come. Sirius could vaguely hear some people applauding the punishment, while others either cried silently or stayed frozen in shock, but his mind couldn’t focus on anything besides the girl kneeling on the dirty ground.</p><p>“Three!”</p><p>Alice was biting her lip so hard to keep from screaming that blood was almost dripping from her chin.</p><p>“Four!”</p><p>Sirius couldn’t watch that anymore. A tear fell from his eye and he turned his head to the side just as the whips were raised one more time.</p><p>“Five!”</p><p>Sirius was shaking madly at that point, and Regulus’ firm hold of his hand was probably the only thing that kept him standing. </p><p>He was taken out of his stupor pretty quickly, though, as not even ten seconds after the torture ended, the three men that had been holding Alice and Frank earlier grabbed them again and swiped them to their feet, ignoring their weak protests of pain. </p><p>Sirius’ mind worked like crazy, searching for anything that he could do to prevent them for being thrown out, but nothing came. </p><p>“Take them out of my palace,” Walburga almost spat the words as she turned to the guards, who immediately obeyed and began dragging Alice and Frank in the direction of the gate.</p><p>However, as if by magic, Sirius’ brain suddenly lit up with an extraordinarily crazy idea. All the years of mischievous acts and escapades with James came rushing to his mind like an avalanche, showing him the only way to protect them.</p><p>If the plan didn’t work, that would be it. Alice and Frank would definitely be killed, and Sirius would be in an unbelievably amount of trouble. </p><p>But he had to try. If they went to the streets like that, they would die anyway. He let go of Regulus’ grasp and didn’t waste a second before running to his mother.</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>He saw the guards stop in their tracks at the same time that his mother’s furious eyes landed on him.</p><p>“I will not tolerate any more of this behavior, Sirius Black,” she whispered in a murderous tone, “Those two will not be spending another minute here. You should be thankful we didn’t—“</p><p>“I was actually going to say that I understand, mother,” Sirius interrupted her scold.</p><p>Walburga opened her mouth as if to reprehend him again, but stopped as she realized what he had just said, confusion clear on her face.</p><p>Sirius continued talking as if there was nothing out of the ordinary, “I guess I let my feelings influence me before, but you are right. We can not let this kind of betrayal stay unpunished.”</p><p>She stared at him for a moment, her eyes analyzing every inch of his face, searching for any traces of a lie there.</p><p>But Sirius had become very good at lying to his parents ages ago so, after a minute, she nodded in satisfaction.</p><p>“Well, I am glad you used your brain for once.”</p><p>He purposefully ignored the insult and showed her a quick bow, in sign of respect, before lifting his head again.</p><p>“Can I just ask you for one thing, mother? Let me take them to the gate. I need to do this myself. I can take Officer Potter with me if you feel the need of a guard there.”</p><p>From the corner of his vision, he saw James’ eyes widening almost imperceptibly from where he stood only a few meters away. He definitely knew that Sirius was up to something.</p><p>Sirius sighed inwardly in relief as she, after pondering it for a while, nodded, “Alright. Take him with you.”</p><p>That was how, two minutes later, Sirius and James found themselves walking away from the crowd and towards the gate, Sirius grabbing Alice’s arm and James grabbing Frank’s.</p><p>“Sirius,” James called in desperation as soon as they were out of ears reach, “What the hell are you doing?”</p><p>“We are going to the secret room,” was his only answer. </p><p>“What?! How?!”</p><p>“Almost everyone is at the square, so the corridors must be empty. But we need to be fast.”</p><p>The second they were out of sight, Sirius stopped walking and turned to the extremely confused couple. </p><p>“Sirius, what is going on?” Alice asked him and the fear present in her voice broke his heart.</p><p>“I don’t have time to explain now. Do you think you can walk faster?”</p><p>“I can, yeah,” Frank nodded before frowning, “But Alice is in too much pain.”</p><p>Before the woman could protest, Sirius put one of his arms behind her shoulders and the other one behind her legs, carefully avoiding her injured back, and swiftly lifted her up. </p><p>“James,” Sirius turned to his friend before they continued walking, “I need you to go and call Madame Pomfrey right now and take her there.”</p><p>Shock consumed James and he stared at Sirius like he had grown another head, “Are you sure? Do you realize how dangerous this is?”</p><p>“I do. But that’s their only chance. If these wounds are not treated soon, they will infect, you know that.”</p><p>“Okay,” James nodded with determination, “I will meet you there soon.”</p><p>And with that, he squeezed Sirius’ shoulder tightly and left, running.</p><p>“Come on, we need to hurry,” Sirius told the couple, and they started a faster pace.</p><p>Frank was struggling, clearly in a lot of pain, but he managed to keep up with Sirius as the adrenaline consumed all of them.</p><p>“Where are we going to?” </p><p>“The garden.”</p><p>About five minutes later, Sirius caught sight of the familiar rock behind a small bench near the end of the garden. He carefully put Alice down on her feet and pushed the rock aside.</p><p>There, covered in fake grass and flowers, was a square. Sirius wasted no time and lifted it up, revealing a small, dark passage, big enough only for a person to pass without much difficulty. </p><p>“Wow,” Frank looked between Sirius and and the hole in shock, “Is this a secret passageway?!” </p><p>“Yes. Do you both think you can get down?”</p><p>Still taken aback by the shock, the couple could only nod, eyes wide. Sirius gestured for Frank to go on first, and the man carefully stepped on the first step of the vertical stair that led downwards. </p><p>Next it was Alice. Sirius tried to help her as best as he could, but she was still hissing in pain at every step. Then finally, Sirius got into the hole and closed it. </p><p>Total darkness enveloped them, and Sirius  groped the walls blindly for a moment before his fingers found the button to turn on the faint light.</p><p>When Sirius finally reached the bottom of the stairs, he watched as Frank and Alice looked around the room in awe. </p><p>It was not an extremely big room, but it was big enough that about fifteen people could stand there comfortably. In the middle, there was a table with a few chairs, and a small bathroom could be seen in the corner. </p><p>Frank quickly shook himself out of his trance and grabbed a chair for Alice, helping her to sit, before sitting down right next to her.</p><p>“What is this place?”</p><p>“I honestly don’t know,” Sirius answered truthfully, “James and I accidentally found this when I was thirteen. We were planning a stupid prank and I tripped on the rock, fell face down on the floor.”</p><p>Sirius let out a small nostalgic laugh as he remembered, before shaking his head.</p><p>“Anyway, that was how we discovered it. Based on what we found when we first came in, we think this place was probably used a long time ago, when torturing and exploring the staff wasn’t forbidden by law yet. Then it just stopped being used, but no one ever closed the passage.”</p><p>“And have you told anyone?” Frank asked him.</p><p>“No. We thought there might come a day where this place would be useful,” Sirius stopped for a second before giving them a sad smile, “I guess we were right.”</p><p>Just as he finished talking, a noise was heard from above their heads, and sun light suddenly filled the room for a moment. James and Madame Pomfrey were coming down. </p><p>“Oh, dear!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw Alice and Frank. She was holding a bag with what Sirius assumed were stuff to heal the wounds. </p><p>“Can you heal them, Poppy?</p><p>“Yes, of course. But first, I need to apply this.”</p><p>She took two small bottles out of her bag. Morphine. </p><p>As Madame Pomfrey settled to work, Sirius pulled a chair to himself and sank down on it, feeling the exhaustion finally envelop him. He put his head in his hands and took a deep calming breath, and a hand rested on his shoulder only a second later. James.</p><p>“Are you okay?” his best friend’s voice was charged with concern, and Sirius could only sigh.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>James set down next in front of Sirius so he couldn’t escape from his friend’s gaze. </p><p>“You did absolutely everything you could, Sirius. Thanks to you, they were not killed, and now you are saving them again. I am proud of you.”</p><p>Sirius was shocked to see a few tears in James’s eyes, so he just pulled him for a tight hug. </p><p>“Thank you, brother.”</p><p>James smiled affectionately at him and stood up, “I have to go, brother, before anyone suspects anything. I will tell your mother you went to your room, yeah? It is understandable that you need some time.”</p><p>“Yeah, okay.”</p><p>With one last squeeze to Sirius’ shoulder, James turned around and left. Sirius focused on the couple again, and watched them as Pomfrey cleaned and sutured their injuries. </p><p>‘Loot at what love caused them,’ the thought crossed Sirius mind and he sighed sadly.</p><p>That’s when it suddenly hit him.</p><p>If that had been their fate, what would happen to Remus if someone found out about him and Sirius? Would he be able to save Remus, when he had just barely saved Frank and Alice?</p><p>Sirius suddenly felt sick at the realization and took a sharp intake of breath. His head was spinning like mad and he felt the panic beginning to rise.</p><p>How could he have been so selfish? He had been so caught up on his own feelings for Remus and how happy the other man made him that he had completely ignored the possible consequences. </p><p>Remus had been through so much in his life already, Sirius couldn’t let him experience any more pain. Especially that pain Sirius himself knew so well.</p><p>Sirius’ conflicted thoughts were interrupted when a small hand rested on his arm, startling him, and he almost fell off the chair. He looked up to find Pomfrey looking sadly at him.</p><p>“I did the best that I could,” she informed him in a low voice, “They will still feel a lot of pain once the morphine’s effect pass, but they will be okay.”</p><p>Sirius sighed with relief and stood up. Without even thinking about it, he enveloped the woman in a hug. He felt her tensing with surprise for a moment, but she soon relaxed and reciprocated the embrace. </p><p>“Thank you, Poppy,” Sirius whispered once they parted. </p><p>The woman stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at his eyes, before she lightly squeezed his arms and gave him a sad smile.</p><p>“You will be an amazing King one day, Your Highness. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”</p><p>And with that, she let go of his arm and turned around, climbed the stairs and disappeared from view. Sirius didn’t even have the time to fully process what she had said when Frank appeared in front of him.</p><p>“I have to thank you, Your Highness,” he didn’t bow his head to Sirius, but instead looked at him right in the eye, his expression filled with gratitude, “Thank you, for taking care of her when I couldn’t. And thank you for risking so much to save us. I owe you my life.”</p><p>Sirius was left speechless for a few seconds with the intensity of the moment, but he eventually managed to extend a hand to the other man, who immediately took it.</p><p>“It was my pleasure.”</p><p>As soon as the handshake was over, Alice stepped forward from where she was standing and turner to Frank.</p><p>“Frank, can I talk to Sirius for a minute?”</p><p>The man immediately nodded and excused himself. Not that there was many space for him to go, but he did his best to stand the furthest away possible in order to give them some privacy.</p><p>“Sirius, I am so sorry I did not tell you,” she began before Sirius could even blink, her eyes filling with tears, “It all just happened so fast. It was an absolute shock to me to see him here, and then he started begging me for his forgiveness. Then we talked a lot, cried a lot, and it just happened. I am so sorry I broke your trust.”</p><p>At that point, the tears were falling freely and dripping from her face, and Sirius was quick to reassure her.</p><p>“Alice, look at me.”</p><p>She did as he said, so he kept on talking.</p><p>“I understand. I really do. I was never mad at you, I was just crazy worried. You are my friend, and I care about you.”</p><p>Her crying grew even worse, but before Sirius could think of how much of a disaster he was with women, she threw her arms around him and held him tight. </p><p>They stayed like that for a while, and when Alice finally stepped back, she looked directly into Sirius’ eyes.</p><p>“You have the world’s biggest heart. No matter what happens, I will always wish for your happiness.”</p><p>However, even as she dug forward again to give him one more hug, Sirius didn’t feel any comfort from her kind words. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The whole palace knew about the incident, of course. Even the ones that hadn’t gone to the square and watched the whipping, like Remus and Lily, had already heard all of the details from other people.</p><p>Remus had spent the entire day restless and worried sick about how Sirius was doing. He knew that the other man was probably blaming himself for what had happened to the guard and the woman, and Remus wanted nothing more than to go comfort him. </p><p>After the clock marked nine-thirty, Remus didn’t wait a second and rushed out of his bedroom, taking large steps in the direction of Sirius’ chambers. </p><p>Remus only waited for a few seconds on the long corridor before Sirius opened the door and he quickly stepped inside.</p><p>“Hey,” Remus waited for Sirius to close the door behind them and greeted him, extending his arms towards the other man, “How are you doing, Siri? I heard about the—“</p><p>However, he abruptly interrupted himself when, just as he was about to envelop Sirius in an embrace, the other man instantly took a step back and put more distance between them.</p><p>Remus tried not to let the hurt he felt appear on his features. Suddenly, Sirius took a very audible breath and spoke, looking down at his feet.</p><p>“We need to talk.”</p><p>“Okay...” Remus trailed off, trying to understand what was going on, his eyebrows crinkled in utter confusion. </p><p>“This can’t go on anymore, Remus,” Sirius voice sounded so distraught and full of hurt, but Remus wasn’t following a thing.</p><p>“What? What can’t go on anymore, Sirius?”</p><p>Sirius finally looked up at him and opened his mouth to speak, eyes filled with a pain so intense that threw Remus out a balance. </p><p>“Us.”</p><p>That was when Remus felt as if he could colapse right then and there. It was shocking how a single word had been capable of provoking so much damage, of making someone’s heart shatter into a trillion pieces. Sure, seeing Sirius kissing Marlene had been like a stab, but it had been nothing compared to this.</p><p>“What? Why? I don’t...” Remus chocked on his words and quickly covered his mouth with his hand to prevent from sobbing.</p><p>Sirius looked like he was in even more pain at that, and Remus saw him rise his hands towards him for a fraction of a second before he abruptly turned around, as if to keep himself from reaching to Remus.</p><p>“It is too risky. I am so sorry,” was Sirius’ only answer as he stared at the dark sky from the window.</p><p>It felt like an eternity had passed as the two boys stayed quiet, both trapped in their own thoughts, until Remus broke the silence.</p><p>“Are you sorry for the time we spent together or are you sorry for giving up now?” his voice was shaking and filled with emotion as he stared at the other man’s back.</p><p>“Remus—”</p><p>“Remember the night we first kissed?” Remus waited until the other man nodded and then continued talking, “You told me that I make you happy, and that we shouldn’t give up on what makes us happy? Do you remember that?”</p><p>Sirius suddenly turned around to look at him again, face contorted from suffering. </p><p>“Don’t do that, Remus. This is already hard enough.”</p><p>“Don’t you think that it is hard for me, as well?” shock filled Sirius as Remus basically shouted at his face, “Why are you giving up now? Did I do something wrong?” </p><p>He instantly saw Sirius’ eyes soften, and the guilty that was already there grew even more.</p><p>“Of course you didn’t.”</p><p>“Then why?”</p><p>Sirius huffed and passed his hand through his hair in frustration, “Don’t you realize what happened to Alice and Frank today and what ALMOST happened? Don’t you see it could have been you?!” </p><p>“Of course I do,” Remus replied much lower and softer this time, “But you are worth the risk to me, Sirius.” </p><p>“Don’t say that,” Sirius shook his head fervently at him and started pacing around the room, “Don’t you dare say that, Remus, because I am not.</p><p>“Yes, you are.”</p><p>“Why?” now Sirius was the one shouting, and they could only silently thank the walls for being soundproof, otherwise the whole palace would be listening to them right now, “Tell me, Remus, why the hell am I worth risking your safety?”</p><p>“Because I bloody love you, damn it, that’s why! I am in love with you!”</p><p>Silence stretched through the room as both of them panted heavily and Sirius stared at Remus with impossibly wide eyes. </p><p>Remus, on the other hand, just wanted to dig a hole, crawl into it and never come back. Tears prickled in his eyes again as he looked at Sirius’ stunned face.</p><p>He was just about to turn around and leave before he started crying hysterically when suddenly Sirius moved towards him and he was pulled in for a long, desperate kiss. </p><p>Remus kissed back just as desperately, settling his hands on Sirius’ hips. He felt Sirius’ right hand tugging at his hair while the left one stayed placed firmly on his chest. </p><p>They broke apart gasping for breath, and Remus wasn’t surprised at all to see that the both of them were crying. </p><p>“Fuck, Remus, I am in love with you too! I love you so fucking much.” </p><p>Remus’ eyes widened and he felt his heart beating in an abnormally fast pace, which could not possibly be good for his health. </p><p>“Really?”</p><p>The other man simply nodded at him, a beautiful smile reaching his face. It hadn’t been more than 24 hours since he had seen it, but damn, Remus had missed that smile.</p><p>“Really.”</p><p>Remus laughed as he felt relief fill him and he pressed his body even harder against Sirius’, although not diverting his eyes from the other man’s. </p><p>“Please, don’t give up on us.” </p><p>Sirius’ smile disappeared as quickly as it had come and his bottom lip trembled as he heard Remus’ pleading, and his voice was cracking when he spoke.</p><p>“I wouldn’t bear it if something happened to you, Remus.”</p><p>And Remus understood him. He really did. He tried to imagine if their roles were reversed and it was Sirius who was in danger. He would also be terrified. He was, in fact, quite scared. </p><p>But he wasn’t about to let life pass by and stay still, doing nothing about it. Remus knew it in his heart they both would never be able to forgive themselves if they did that.</p><p>“We will be careful, like we have been so far. No one will find out.” </p><p>Remus could clearly see the conflict in Sirius’ eyes as he bit firmly on his bottom lip. Finally, after a few moments, the other man licked his lips and traced his fingers on Remus’ face, making him feel goosebumps all over his body.</p><p>“I feel like I am being so selfish,” Sirius whispered softly, his head slightly bended back since he was a bit shorter than Remus, “But I can’t seem to resist you.”</p><p>“Then be selfish.”</p><p>And with that, they closed the distance between them once again. Remus had no ideia which one of them leaned in first, but it didn’t matter.</p><p>They kissed like there would be no tomorrow, both putting all of their love and desire into the kiss, and Remus felt like he would explode from the intensity of it all.</p><p>Soon they were both exploring each other’s bodies hungrily, hands traveling everywhere. Remus craved for more of Sirius, to see and touch every inch of him.</p><p>Suddenly, Remus felt the back of his legs hit something and they both fell on top of Sirius’ bed. Before he could even realize what had happened, they both found themselves in a very similar position from the one in which they were kissing at the clearing, with Remus laying on his back and Sirius straddling his hips. Except this time, they didn’t stop.</p><p>As they kissed and their clothed bodies slid against each other, Remus felt himself grow uncomfortably hard, embarrassingly fast. After all, he was an eighteen year old guy with the most gorgeous man on Earth right on top of him.</p><p>However, even though every cell in his body screamed otherwise, Remus slowed down for a second and looked up at Sirius, his heart nearly stopping from the sight before him.</p><p>Sirius’ hair was an utter mess, falling down his flushed face, and his eyes...Well, Remus didn’t know how someone could look so good.</p><p>Forcing his brain to work despite the state he was in, Remus asked Sirius gently, “Are you sure you want to keep going? It’s okay if you don’t, you know that, right?” </p><p>But Sirius surprised Remus as he didn’t hesitate the slightest bit and, in a swift move, ground down onto him and brought their erections together. </p><p>“Ah!” a loud moan involuntary left Remus’ mouth and he immediately blushed scarlet from embarrassment.</p><p>However, Sirius simply smirked down at him and pecked him gently on the lips before leaning in to whisper in his ear, “I don’t want to stop.”</p><p>A shiver went from Remus’ ear down to his entire body and he barely managed to answer him.</p><p>“Good. Me neither.”</p><p>And with that, they resumed from where they had stopped, neither of them holding back anymore. In a bust of confidence, Remus flipped them over, laying on top of Sirius, and made his way down the other man’s collarbone with small kisses, delighted with how he squirmed underneath him.</p><p>When Remus’ hands reached the edge of Sirius’ shirt, they stopped for a moment, “Can I?”</p><p>The look in Sirius’ eyes said everything, but the black haired man nodded fervently anyway, “Yeah.”</p><p>With trembling hands, Remus began undoing the buttons of Sirius’ shirt, his fingertips constantly brushing exposed skin, and he could hear the other’s breath becoming more raged.</p><p>The last button was undone, the shirt slipped off of Sirius’ shoulders and...Remus almost died at that moment. He felt his mouth open up ridiculously as he stared, but he couldn’t help it. He was seeing Sirius shirtless for the first time, and he was...</p><p>“Fuck, how can you be so gorgeous?”</p><p>Remus reached his hand and touched Sirius’ chest and abdomen almost reverently as he heard him give a breathless laugh, “I am sure I am nothing compared to you.”</p><p>That was when Remus felt himself stiff, growing completely still. He didn’t consider himself unattractive, he really didn’t. But he wasn’t as lean and graceful as Sirius was, and his scars...well, Sirius already knew they were there, but what if he didn’t like them?</p><p>“Remus?” he was startled out of his worries by Sirius’ concerned voice, “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing, nothing,” Remus quickly shook his head to reassure him, “It’s just...”</p><p>He hesitated for a moment, but Sirius’ eyes were so warm and caring that he let himself say it.</p><p>“My scars. There are...a lot of them.”</p><p>“Oh, Rem,” Sirius looked at him with an expression of understanding and lifted his head to kiss him so softly Remus almost melted, “I don’t care about your scars. They are a part of you, and I love you. They won’t make me any less attracted to you.”</p><p>Sirius’ words immediately calmed Remus down a little, but he still wasn’t feeling completely secure. Sirius must have sensed that, since he hesitated only for a fraction of a second before speaking again.</p><p>“Besides...I have a few scars of my own, as well.”</p><p>Remus frowned, and was about to think he had misheard him when Sirius turned around and...</p><p>He gasped sharply as he looked. Five faint lines crossed almost the entire space of Sirius’ back. The scars didn’t look new, probably from a few years ago.</p><p>“Sirius...,” Remus’ voice wasn’t louder than a shocked whisper, and he cautiously extend his hand and brushed his fingertips against one of the scars, “Who did this to you?”</p><p>“My father,” he answered him as he turned back around and faced Remus again, “I was fourteen at the time. We had a major fight and I told him...I told him I didn’t want to be like him, so he did this. Thankfully, he never did it again.”</p><p>Remus swallowed as he looked at the man’s face. He knew Sirius’ parents were dreadful, but he had never thought they would...</p><p>“Are those from..?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Now everything made even more sense than before. How desperate Sirius had gone after witnessing the whipping and thinking about that happening to Remus, or worse. He had gone through that himself.</p><p>“Fuck, I...” Remus felt his fists involuntarily clenching from fury and, as his hands were on Sirius, the other man immediately noticed, “I will kill him.”</p><p>“It’s okay, love, calm down.”</p><p>“It’s not okay,” Remus interrupted him and ignored the palpitations his heart did when Sirius called him love, “He hurt you, I—“</p><p>“It is okay now. I am okay now.” </p><p>Remus was about to protest again, but Sirius was faster and beat him to it.</p><p>“I have never showed them to anyone before, not even Regulus or James,” he ignored Remus’ wide eyes and continued, “But I trust you to see them. I know it is nowhere near the same, and you don’t have to show yours to me if you are not ready, I would never want to pressure you, but I just want you to know that you can.” </p><p>They stared at each other’s eyes for who knew how long, and Remus realized he had never felt so safe. He trusted Sirius with all of his heart and didn’t want to hide from him.</p><p>In a swift move, he gripped the end of his shirt and took it off, discarding it on the floor next to where Sirius’ was. </p><p>Remus closed his eyes and waited for Sirius to say something, but he didn’t. He opened his eyes slowly, definitely expecting a bad reaction after the silence, but that was not what he found at all.</p><p>Sirius’ eyes were filled with lust as they roamed over Remus’ entire chest, making Remus have to hold in a small gasp. But not only lust. There was also love. </p><p>“You are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen, Remus Lupin.” </p><p>That did it for Remus, and he couldn’t hold it anymore. He bent down and kissed Sirius again at the same time as he brought their bodies almost impossibly close. </p><p>He began to scan his hand down Sirius’ body until it found the front of his pants.<br/>A surprised sound came out of Sirius’ mouth and Remus saw his eyes widen comically. Smirking to himself and encouraged by Sirius’ reaction, Remus quickly undid the other’s zipper and, after receiving a small nod from him, slipped his trousers and underwear off in one movement.</p><p>Remus felt his mouth water at the sight. Sirius’ hard dick was right in front of him, already a bit wet at the tip, and he felt his own twitch in his trousers. Then, before he lost his courage, Remus swiftly wrapped his hand around Sirius’ cock, giving it a experimental stroke.</p><p>“Fuck, Re!” </p><p>Remus’ eyes immediately shot up as he kept on going. He didn’t want to miss the way Sirius’ eyes squeezed shut and his mouth widened open from pleasure. </p><p>However, not even a minute later, Sirius suddenly opened his eyes, “Re, wait, let me...”</p><p>He was about to ask him if he had done something wrong when Sirius reached his own hand and...</p><p>“Oh, God!”</p><p>Sirius had pressed his hand against Remus’ bulge and then proceeded to remove his pants. The sound Remus made as Sirius’ hand wrapped around his cock would embarrass him to death if he was capable of thinking straight at that moment, but he wasn’t. </p><p>“Fuck, Sirius, I...” Remus gasped at the feeling of Sirius’ hand around him. He had never been so turned on in his life.</p><p>“I know,” Sirius answered him between sweet moans and gasps, “God, Remus, I need...”</p><p>However, Sirius didn’t finish his sentence, instead he grabbed Remus’ naked ass with both hands and pulled him down so their cocks slid together, causing delicious friction and making both of them moan extremely loudly. </p><p>They continued stroking each other like that as they stumbled closer and closer to the edge, their moans and whispered ‘I love you’s the only things to be heard in the room.</p><p>Soon enough, Remus felt the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach that announced him he was close, so he thrusted even more desperately in Sirius’ hand. </p><p>“Ah, fuck, Remus, I am so close,” Sirius announced him seconds later, panting heavily, and Remus could only nod and tell him he was too.</p><p>It wasn’t long until they both came hard, almost simultaneously, Sirius throwing his head back into the pillow, mouth opened in a silent scream, while Remus pressed his face against the crook of Sirius’ neck to muffle his groans.</p><p>Once Remus’ vision cleared and he felt like he could breath again, he carefully moved from atop Sirius to his side and enveloped the other man in his arms.</p><p>“God, that was...”</p><p>“Incredible,” Sirius completed for him, with a glowing smile on his face.</p><p>“Yeah,” Remus nodded and laughed, feeling light like a plume, “It was incredible.”</p><p>They didn’t even care about the mess they had made and stayed there like that for a few minutes, just looking at each other and smiling like the idiots in love that they were until Sirius’ eyes suddenly widened.</p><p>“I almost forgot to tell you!”</p><p>Then he told Remus all about the secret place he and James had found years ago and how he had taken Alice and Frank there. Remus was looking at him with adoration in his amber eyes as Sirius told him everything. </p><p>“There is no one like you, Sirius Black.”</p><p>And as Sirius smiled brightly at him and said ‘I love you’ once again, Remus promised himself that he would never give up on that man. </p><p>At that moment, Remus didn’t even think about how they were living an impossible love story. He just wanted to enjoy the time with the man he loved, and keep it in his memory forever. </p><p>After all, who knew how much longer they would have?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this chapter was longer and a looot of things happened lol hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! any feedback will be appreciated</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Bubble Baths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter was amazing to write! tell me what you all thought of it! :) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The time for the special interviews with Sirius and the selected women for the Illéa Capital Repport arrived a week after everything that happened with Alice and Frank. It was a cold evening, and Sirius found himself making his way towards the Great Hall. </p><p>The interviews were the last thing his mind was focusing on, though, as the elimination from a few hours earlier still filled his thoughts. Sirius had been trying his hardest to keep The Selection going for as much time as he could, since he had absolutely no clue about what he was going to do when the time for his choice arrived.</p><p>However, Walburga’s complaints about how he was taking way too long to send them home had been impossible to beat, so he had eliminated five more girls in the morning. Since Alice was no longer in the competition, there were now only 15.</p><p>Sirius shook his head to clear it from his worries and took a deep calming breath before entering the Great Hall. As soon as he stepped into the room, he was caught by surprise by the decoration. Golden chandeliers hung from the ceiling, shedding a beautiful light to the room, and big red curtains covered the windows. </p><p>‘I guess mother really wants to impress the country,’ Sirius thought for a moment, ‘Or just rub our richness on everyone’s faces.’</p><p>A voice calling for him soon gained his attention, though, and he almost winced as he recognized who’s voice it was. Rita Skitter. She has been the program’s host since Sirius could remember, and he despised her with everything he had. Distorting informations and spreading fake gossip were her specialties. </p><p>Sirius turned his head and spotted her sitting on a ridiculously pompous chair in the middle of the room, with a camera man standing besides her. He fought to suppress a sigh and walked towards her.</p><p>“Hello, Rita,” he greeted her politely, “How are you today?”</p><p>“I am wonderful, dear,” she answered excitedly and pointed to one of the chairs right across from hers, “You can sit here and we will get started soon.”</p><p>Sirius did as he was told and diverted his eyes to the corner of the room where the selected women were sitting in a line, probably following the order of the interviews, all of them wearing fancy fussy dresses and carefully prepared makeup. </p><p>Not even five minutes later, the man that had been standing next to Rita returned to his spot next to the camera, a few feet from them, and announced they were on air.</p><p>“Good evening, Illéa,” Rita’s voice echoed through the now silent room as she talked to the population, “Today we are here with Prince Sirius Black and all of the fifteen women left on this exciting competition, The Selection. You are all going to have the chance to get to know each one of them and decide your favorite. One of these young ladies is going to be the future Queen of Illéa.”</p><p>Everyone applauded and cheered for a moment until Rita called the first woman. It was Dorcas Meadowes, and she quickly claimed the chair next to him, smiling brightly to the camera. Rita’s questions for Sirius and the girls were mostly about what they used to do together, on how many dates they had been and what they thought about each other.</p><p>Time passed quickly and, sooner than Sirius had expected, Rita thanked and dismissed the last girl and turned to look at him again. He quickly glanced at the clock and saw that an hour had passed. </p><p>“The interviews were all lovely, Your Highness,” Rita spoke in a cheerful voice, “I dare to say you are very lucky to have these women here competing for your hand.”</p><p>“Indeed, Rita, I am,” he answered her with a smile, although the last thing he considered himself was ‘lucky’.</p><p>“Before we finish, though, I have two more questions for you, Your Highness, if you allow me.”</p><p>Sirius had to suppress a defeated sigh at that. If he knew that woman well, which he believed he did, her questions were going to be extremely personal and direct, and Sirius wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. However, he covered his discomfort with a very convincing smile and nodded. </p><p>“Excellent! Tell me, Sirius...Can I call you Sirius?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Great! So tell me, Sirius...Have you kissed any of the girls?” </p><p>There it was. Sirius could see clearly in her expression that she knew that was a delicate question to ask, since it would definitely upset a lot of the girls, but she didn’t care the tiniest bit. Sirius took a deep breath and opened his mouth, bracing himself for the impact of his answer.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Whispers could immediately be heard coming from where the women sat, almost all of them desperate to know who the prince had kissed and when that had happened. Sirius risked a glance at Marlene and saw that she had tensed on her seat and was carefully avoiding the gossip.</p><p>“Ah, I see,” Rita gave him a tiny smirk, but didn’t press on the matter, which Sirius thanked the heavens for, “Well, that leaves us with only one question left.”</p><p>All noise subsided and the tension and expectation irradiating from everyone were palpable in the air. Rita remained quiet for a moment, just staring at Sirius with those big blue eyes, and he was about to die from nerves when she finally talked.</p><p>“What I want to ask, Sirius, is: do you think you will find the love you were looking for?” </p><p>Sirius didn’t really know if he believed in coincidences, but at that exact moment, he saw a sandy haired figure from the corner of his vision. He instantly turned his head slightly to the left, and that was when he saw him.</p><p>Remus was cleaning the tables on the other side of the room alongside three other servants, where the cameras didn’t capture. As if sensing Sirius’ stare, the other man lifted his head and their eyes met. </p><p>Silver locked with amber and, for a moment, Sirius forgot about everything else. His surroundings disappeared, and those eyes were the only things that remained.</p><p>All of that happened during no more than two seconds, though, and Sirius quickly looked back to where Rita Skitter was expectedly waiting for his answer. </p><p>“I believe there is a really good chance.”</p><p>But the truth was, he had already found it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was about 8 PM when Sirius returned to his chambers and prepared himself a bubble bath. He stripped out of his clothes and slipped into the water, letting out a sigh at the immediate effect.</p><p>The whole day had been extremely exhausting and Sirius wanted nothing more than his daily alone time with Remus. He let his eyes flutter shut and just enjoyed the calming feeling of the hot water relaxing his muscles.</p><p>A serie of low knocks startled Sirius and he immediately opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings, trying to situate himself. A quick look at the clock had him jumping out of the water and reaching for the towel in a rush. He had been asleep for two hours.</p><p>Three more knocks echoed through the bedroom while Sirius finished putting his pants on and he rushed to the door. As soon as he opened it, Sirius was greeted with the sight of a tall figure with soft sandy hair, scarred pale skin and a beautiful smile.</p><p>With a quick look at the corridor to make sure no one had followed him, Sirius grabbed the front of Remus’ jumper, dragged him inside the room and pulled him in for a breathtaking kiss. </p><p>“I missed you,” Sirius told him as soon as they parted, mesmerized by the dazed look on Remus’ face.</p><p>The other man laughed happily and grabbed his hand, pressing a small kiss to the palm, “You saw me yesterday, dummy.”</p><p>“I still missed you.”</p><p>Remus’ smile grew even more and he rolled his eyes affectionately, “I missed you too.”</p><p>Sirius grinned at him and led them towards the bed, where they both laid down comfortably, side by side. </p><p>“Sorry about the wait, by the way,” Sirius turned on his side to face Remus, “I kind of feel asleep in the tub.”</p><p>Silence. He saw Remus blink once. Twice. Then Remus raised one of his eyebrows and... started laughing hysterically. </p><p>“You...you feel asleep... in the bath?” Remus asked him between sharp intakes of breath as his body shook from laughter, “That is why you took so long to open the door?”</p><p>Sirius could feel the heat traveling to his face and he knew without a doubt that he was blushing.</p><p>“Stop laughing at me,” he shoved Remus slightly, but couldn’t help but join in on the laughter as well, “You can’t blame me, though, that bath was doing miracles.”</p><p>“I can imagine,” Remus shook his head jokingly, still grinning, and pecked him softly on the lips, “You are adorable.”</p><p>Before Sirius could even open his mouth to answer, though, the grin on Remus’ face disappeared and was replaced by a worried look, “You’re okay, though, right?”</p><p>Sirius’ heart melted a little at the other’s concern, and he was quick to tranquilize him, “I’m okay, love, I promise. Just had a long, stressful day.”</p><p>A small frown appeared between Remus’ eyebrows and he reached one of his hands to run his long fingers through Sirius’ hair, who instantly closed his eyes and hummed in satisfaction. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“There is not much to tell, really. The interviews were just kind of exhausting, I guess, as well as today’s elimination. It’s never easy, you know?”</p><p>Remus just nodded, seeming to understand, and continued gently petting Sirius’ long hair in an effort to help taking the stress away. Sirius stayed quiet for a few more moments, just enjoying the sensation, but he eventually took a deep breath and opened his eyes.</p><p>“Rem?”</p><p>“Yes, love?”</p><p>“There is something else I wanted to talk to you about, though.”</p><p>Remus’ expression didn’t change at all, but he diverted his eyes from Sirius’ hair to his silver eyes, “Of course, love. What is it?”</p><p>“You see...,” Sirius trailed off and cleared his throat audibly, which certainly betrayed his nerves, “I have been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now, and I wanted to know what you think.”</p><p>Without even waiting to see Remus’ response, Sirius got up from the bed and walked over to his writing desk, grabbing the small notebook that was placed on top of it. Once he got back on the bed, he handed the notebook to Remus and studied the other man cautiously, as if waiting for his reaction.</p><p>Written in big letters on the top of the first page were the words: THE PROBLEMS WITH THE CASTES SYSTEM AND THE MONARCHY.</p><p>Sirius watched as Remus’ face gained a confused frown, and the other man looked up at him again, head slightly tilted to the side.</p><p>“I should explain what this is,” Sirius laughed nervously and avoided Remus’ curious eyes, settling for staring at his notes on the paper, “So, as I said, I have been thinking about this for a couple of weeks. Before I met you, Remus, I had no clue about how the outside world worked. I had never realized how much people suffer until you told me what you went through in life, and it pained me so much.”</p><p>Sirius took a moment to take another breath because he was talking too fast, and then continued from where he left of, still not looking at Remus. </p><p>“So, I began to study the subject, how society is organized in other countries and stuff like that. What I mean with all of this is...I want to keep learning and working on new ideas so one day, hopefully not too distant from now, we can replace the castes system with a more effective and equal one.”</p><p>Sirius finally dared to look up from the notebook and meet Remus’ eyes, but the completely shocked look on his face did not help calming Sirius’ nerves. He felt his hand starting to sweat and continued talking, waving them around in the air.</p><p>“I-I also thought about how all the power belongs exclusively to the royal family. I did some research on other governments and I though that, in the future, it would probably be beneficial if we had someone outside of royalty to share some of the power, you know? People can vote and stuff, so they would also feel like a part of the system. Things like that worked on other countries. But these are all just ideas, and of course it would take time, and it’s also okay if you think they suck and—“</p><p>Sirius was suddenly interrupted by a weight pushing him down on the bed and a pair of arms hugging him tightly. He was so surprised that he took a few seconds to react and wrap his arms around Remus’ waist. </p><p>“Fuck, Sirius, I...I don’t know what to say,” Remus’ voice was muffled by Sirius’ neck, and when the boy lifted his head to look at him, Sirius saw that his eyes were filled with tears, “This is incredible. You are incredible, I love you so much.”</p><p>Relief filled him immediately and he tightened his hold on Remus, a soft smile appearing on his face, “I love you too. So much.”</p><p>Remus hid his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck again and they stayed like that for a few minutes until Sirius felt the weird sensation of wetness on his collarbone. Worry filled him as he realized it was from Remus’ tears. </p><p>“Remus? What happened?” he backed away a bit to look at the other man, “Why are you crying, love?”</p><p>“It’s just,” Remus’ breath was ragged and he lifted his hand to wipe his face, “What is going to happen to us, Sirius? What happens when it’s time for you to choose a woman?”</p><p>The question caught Sirius off guard and his heart twitched painfully. He asked that same thing to himself all the time, but he didn’t have an answer. He was terrified of the future, terrified of the thought of being forced to marry someone else.</p><p>“I don’t want to lose you, Sirius.”</p><p>Sirius couldn’t take the distraught look on Remus’ face anymore, so he urged forward and embraced the boy again, almost desperately, “You will not lose me, Remus, do you understand me? I promised you I would not give up, didn’t I? We will find a way.”</p><p>Remus still seemed nervous and pained, but he nodded rather frantically and rested his forehead against Sirius’ as he tried to calm down.</p><p>“We will find a way,” Sirius repeated once, as if trying to convince himself of what he was saying, before pressing their lips together. He heard Remus let out a sigh and pulled him even closer.</p><p>The kiss was gentle and tender at first, but it didn’t take long for it to became more heated as their tongues explored their mouths and their bodies moved against each other. Not even a minute later, their shirts were already discarded on the floor, and Sirius let out a gasp at the feeling of Remus’ finger tracing one of his nipples.</p><p>Just as he was about to reach for Remus’ pants, the other man suddenly broke the kiss, panting heavily, and locked eyes with Sirius. </p><p>“Sirius?”</p><p>“Yes?” he replied, trying to catch his breath.</p><p>Remus kept staring intensely at him for a moment, in a mixture of love, hunger and also fear, before finally opening his mouth again, “I want to make love to you.”</p><p>All of the air left Sirius’ lungs at once, it was like he forgot how to breathe, and he felt blood rush straight to his already hard cock. </p><p>“Then do it.”</p><p>Sirius saw as all traces of insecurity left Remus’ eyes at that and his pupils dilated even more, and within a second they were kissing passionately again. Then suddenly a thought occurred to Sirius, something that he had been wanting to do for a while now.</p><p>“Rem, I want to try something. Can I?”</p><p>Remus looked at him with curiosity for a second, but didn’t hesitate to nod, “Of course.”</p><p>Sirius took a breath and flipped them over so he was on top of Remus and carefully made his way down the other man’s body until his head was on the level of his groin, and then proceeded to get rid of his pants. Once Remus was only in his underwear, Sirius gave a small kiss to his hard cock through the fabric, earning a soft moan from the man.</p><p>Encouraged by that reaction, Sirius quickly got rid of that last piece of clothing and, after taking a few seconds to look at it, engulfed Remus’ dick in his mouth.</p><p>“Fuck! Sirius!” Remus immediately moaned loudly and threw his head back into the pillow, his hands grabbing the sheets tightly as Sirius sucked him eagerly.</p><p>Sirius placed his hands on Remus’ hips to hold him still and delighted himself in his taste and the sounds he was making until, about two minutes later, he felt a hand grabbing his hair and trying to pull him up.</p><p>He let go of Remus with a low ‘pop’ and lifted his head to look at him. Remus looked completely disheveled, his face was flushed, his eyes were wide and he was bitting firmly on his bottom lip.</p><p>“I wasn’t going to last much longer,” he explained in a whisper, and Sirius didn’t know how someone could look so hot and cute at the same time.</p><p>Sirius smiled brightly at him and moved so they kissed again, and Remus immediately reached his hands to take off Sirius’ pants. Once they were both naked, Remus placed himself above Sirius and stopped for a minute. </p><p>“Are you sure you want to do this? It will probably hurt a little.”</p><p>“I am sure. I want this, Rem. I want you.”</p><p>That confirmation was all Remus needed and he moved to spread Sirius’ legs while stroking his cock slowly. Sirius felt a wave of embarrassment hit him for a second because he was completely exposed, and in an entirely different way, but it quickly went away as he looked at Remus again. </p><p>He almost fainted as Remus began to suck on his middle finger, but then he remembered, “I almost forgot. I have lube, and a few boxes of condoms too.”</p><p>The other man raised his eyebrows questionably and smirked teasingly at him, and Sirius felt his face grow warm again, “My father seems to think I am some kind of sexual predator that can’t keep it in his pants around women, so he gave me those when The Selection started. Little does he know, right?”</p><p>Remus let out a full laugh at that and asked him where they were.</p><p>“Top drawer of the nightstand.”</p><p>The other man quickly opened it and found what he was looking for. He put some lube on his finger and carefully placed it on Sirius’ entrance.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>“Ready.”</p><p>Remus pushed his finger slowly and Sirius immediately hissed at the uncomfortable and painful sensation, but Remus’ soothing whispers in his ear helped a lot. The pain was beginning to subside when Remus’ finger found something inside of Sirius and a jolt of pleasure ran through him.</p><p>“AH!”</p><p>“Oh my God, sorry! Did I hurt you?” Remus panicked instantly and went to remove his finger, but Sirius just shook his head frantically.</p><p>“No, no. You didn’t hurt me. Do it again, please.”</p><p>Remus stayed still for a moment, as if to make sure Sirius was indeed alright, before pressing at the same spot again.</p><p>“OH! Fucking Christ! Remus!” Sirius started moaning and cursing loudly, which only encouraged Remus even more.</p><p>After two more fingers and some more minutes, Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm to stop him, “I am ready.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Remus worriedly asked him, but Sirius nodded.</p><p>“I am sure. Please, Remus, fuck me.”</p><p>Sirius heard a low growl coming out of Remus’s throat and a shiver ran down his body. They held eye contact as Remus put the condom on him and spread some lube on it.</p><p>It was painful at first, and Sirius had to close his eyes tightly. He could hear Remus breathing deeply on top of him, as if to control himself. A few moments passed until the pain subsided and Sirius nodded at Remus to keep going.</p><p>Remus began thrusting inside of him and soon they were both moaning loudly. Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus’ waist, making him reach even deeper and slam against the spot inside of Sirius at every thrust. </p><p>Sirius knew he wouldn’t last long after that, and he could see in Remus’ face that he was almost getting there too, “Remus, I-nghh-I’m close!”</p><p>Then he felt slim fingers close around his cock and that was it. He came with a shout, Remus following him only a second later with a loud cry. They both stayed there until the world regained focus and turned to look at each other, with matching smiles on their faces.</p><p>And as Sirius laid there with Remus, both naked and sweaty, he realized he had never felt so in peace. </p><p>“I love you so damn much, Remus Lupin.”</p><p>“I love you with all my heart, Sirius Black.”</p><p>Sirius was almost drifting to sleep when he felt Remus shake him gently and whisper in his ear, “We should go clean ourselves.”</p><p>“Hmm, how would you like a hot bubble bath, then?” </p><p>Remus smiled at him and chuckled, “After you made it seem so tempting, how can I resist? Especially since it’s with you.”</p><p>They both laughed, jumped out of the bed and walked towards the bathroom, where Sirius quickly filled the tub with hot water and applied the bubble product in it, Remus’ arms circling him the entire time.</p><p>Once he was done, they slipped into the tub together, and Sirius placed himself between Remus’ open legs, almost sitting on his lap.</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Remus whispered as he closed his eyes and let his head fall on Sirius’ shoulder, “You were right. This is indeed doing miracles.”</p><p>Sirius chucked softly and leaned back into the other man, wishing they could just stay there forever and never have to worry about anything else. However, his wish was suddenly ruined when he felt Remus stiff behind him, about half an hour later.</p><p>“Did you hear that?”</p><p>But Sirius didn’t have time to move or answer him, as the bathroom door was suddenly bursted open.</p><p>“Sirius, get your lazy ass out of the bath, I wanted to talk to you about—-OH MY GOD!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Padfoot and Moony</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sirius, get your lazy ass out of the bath, I wanted to talk to you about—-OH MY GOD!”</p><p>Standing next to the door, looking completely petrified, was Regulus. His eyes were so wide they were almost popping out of his head and his jaw was opened in a way that would be immensely funny in any other situation, nearly touching the floor. </p><p>However, as soon as his and Sirius’ eyes met, the man quickly turned around and exited the bathroom in a hurry, and Sirius immediately felt the ultimately familiar panic begin to make its appearance.</p><p>“Regulus, wait!”</p><p>Sirius got out of the tub with a jump, splashing water everywhere, and then grabbed his towel, wrapping it securely around his waist. </p><p>Before running after his brother, though, Sirius turned to look at Remus, who still hadn’t moved from his position in the bathtub. The boy looked completely mortified, and the fear was unmistakable in his amber eyes. </p><p>“Don’t worry, love,” Sirius told him in the most comforting way possible, pecking him quickly on the lips, “It will be alright. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Sirius didn’t even wait for an answer and bursted out of the bathroom, preparing himself for having to chase Regulus through the palace with only a towel covering him up. That would be utterly embarrassing and it would certainly raise a lot of questions, but what could he do, right?</p><p>Fortunately, though, and for his great surprise, his brother was standing next to his bed, waiting for him.</p><p>“Reg, please let me explain!”</p><p>Regulus’ eyes, that were fixed on some spot on the floor while his mind seemed to work like crazy, shot up at the sound of Sirius’ voice. </p><p>“Sirius, what the hell was going on in there?! Who is that man?!”</p><p>Silence stretched over the room for no longer than a few seconds as Sirius took a few deep breaths and prepared himself. Finally, he looked at his brother’s silver eyes, that looked so much like his own, and told him the truth.</p><p>“That man is Remus Lupin. We...we are together, Reg. I am so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”</p><p>“You are...WHAT?”</p><p>Sirius winced slightly at Regulus’ loud outburst, but he supposed he couldn’t really blame him. Walking into your older brother’s bathroom and finding him naked with an unknown male in a bathtub, only for said brother to reveal they are together. In a romantic way. That was definitely something to be worked up about.</p><p>But before Sirius could even think of anything to say, Regulus began pacing around the room, though his eyes never left Sirius, “How on Earth do you even know the guy?”</p><p>“We met on the day The Selection started,” an involuntary smile grew on Sirius’ face and his eyes lightened up as he remembered the first time he saw Remus and the way he found himself instantly mesmerized by the other man, although he didn’t understand why at the time, “He started working here that day. I couldn’t sleep, so I left my chambers for a walk and...we just bumped into each other.”</p><p>“A servant?”</p><p>Sirius’ face immediately hardened at that, and his expression darkened considerably as he stared at his younger brother, “A person.”</p><p>Regulus shook his head slightly, as if to get himself off that shocked state, and then nodded carefully, “Right, of course. I should not have said that, it’s just...It’s a lot to take in.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>They both just stared at each other for a few moments, neither of them quite knowing what to say, until something seemed to cross Regulus’ mind and his eyes widened again. </p><p>“Wait, did you...did you two...?”</p><p>The embarrassed but also glowing look on Sirius’ face and the red that immediately painted his cheeks were all Regulus needed as an answer. </p><p>“Good Lord, that...That is definitely a lot to take in.”</p><p>“You won’t tell mother, though, right?!” Sirius’ heart started to thump wildly from fear and his face certainly showed that, “She would kill him!”</p><p>“Hey, Sirius, calm down,” Regulus took a steep forward and placed both of his hands on Sirius’ shoulders, squeezing them lightly, “I would never do that to you.”</p><p>A faint feeling of guilt for having doubted his brother even for a second began to rise through Sirius as he saw the sincerity in Regulus’ eyes, but he tried to shrug it off. He was about to thank him and enveloped him in a hug when Regulus continued talking.</p><p>“You have to be extremely careful, though,” his eyes were dangerously serious as he spoke, “Mother is already suspecting something, that’s what I came to talk to you about. I heard her talking to dad about how you are acting weirder than usual, and that she plans to get to the bottom of it soon.”</p><p>‘Damn that woman and her intelligent, evil mind,’ Sirius thought angrily before raising his head in determination. </p><p>“She won’t. She will never find out, and I will never let her lay as much as a finger on Remus.”</p><p>He saw a small smile begin to appear on his brother’s face, “You really care about him, huh?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>They stayed quiet again, a comfortable silence this time, but Regulus quickly regained Sirius’ attention as he saw the other man looking at him hesitantly, shoulders tense as if he wanted to ask him something but didn’t know if he was allowed to.</p><p>“You can ask me anything, Reg, it’s okay.” </p><p>That seemed to calm his brother a little bit, who lifted his hand and pointed to the bathroom’s door, “How long has this been going on?”</p><p>Sirius’ eyebrows frowned in confusion. Although it was extremely normal for him to be curious, he didn’t expect his younger brother to ask any questions about that, “You mean the sex?”</p><p>“WHAT? NO!” Regulus nearly shouted as he shook his head frantically and closed his eyes tightly, as if the mere mention or mental image of that would traumatize him for eternity, “Not that, Sirius!”</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” Sirius felt the heat travel to his face and he knew he was blushing again, but he still laughed at the expression on Regulus’ face, “Worthy mistake, though, just to see that look on your face.”</p><p>Regulus opened his eyes again and glared at Sirius, which made him raise his hands in a fake apology, “Sorry, sorry. But answering your question, a few weeks.”</p><p>“Wow.”</p><p>“I know.” </p><p>“So, are you, umm,” Regulus paused for a moment, voice extremely careful as he asked, “Are you gay, then?”</p><p>Sirius took a moment to think about the question before answering, “Gay, bi, pan, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I am in love with him.”</p><p>He vaguely noticed Regulus let out a small shocked gasp at that, but all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to finally tell someone else about his feelings. Sirius hated the fact that he had to hide his relationship, he wanted to shout from the bloody rooftops that he was in love with an amazing man called Remus John Lupin. And telling Regulus made him feel slightly closer to that.</p><p>“Does James know?”</p><p>“Not yet, no,” Sirius sighed and looked down at the floor. He would have to tell his other brother soon. They used to tell each other everything and Sirius felt terrible about keeping him in the dark about such an important part of his life.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Regulus gave him a small encouraging smile, sensing Sirius’ nerves, “It will be alright. He loves you.”</p><p>After that, Sirius couldn’t hold it in any longer, so he urged forward and wrapped the other man in a bone crushing hug.</p><p>They stayed like that for some time, Sirius had no ideia how long, until Regulus took a step back and started to divert his eyes between Sirius and the bathroom, “I uhh...will leave you to that, then.”</p><p>Regulus turned around and walked towards the door, but before he could leave, Sirius’ hands moved to grab the man’s sleeve and his mouth moved without permission, something that was not unusual at all for Sirius, “Wait!”</p><p>Regulus turned around to face him again, looking a bit confused. Sirius hesitated only for a brief second before letting go of Regulus and gesturing to the bathroom behind him.</p><p>“Would you maybe like to...umm...meet him?”</p><p>Sirius would never admit that out loud, but he was nervous. He desperately wanted Remus and Regulus to meet, as the two of them and James were the most important people in his life, but that exact same reason also made him anxious. What if they didn’t get along? What if they simply didn’t want to meet each other?</p><p>However, Regulus seemed to have taken the day specially to surprise Sirius, as he stared at him for a while and then nodded, “Yeah, of course. If you want that.”</p><p>Sirius smiled brightly at him, glowing with happiness, “Just a second, then! I will go talk to him!”</p><p>With that, Sirius ran towards the bathroom again and opened the door. Remus had finished drying himself and had put on one of Sirius’ casual shirts, that he had probably forgotten laying on the floor, as well as a towel to cover his lower regions. </p><p>The boy turned his head to Sirius as soon as he entered the room, looking restless, “How did it go?”</p><p>However, his face immediately frowned in confusion as Sirius simply smiled at him and pressed a long kiss to his lips. </p><p>“What—-?”</p><p>“It went fine, love,” Sirius’ smile never left him, but there was also a slight nervous glimpse on his features, “Actually, umm...Is it okay if you meet him?”</p><p>Remus’ jaw dropped and his mouth hung opened in absolute shock, “I-I...He wants to meet me?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sirius nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip, “He’s okay with us and he won’t tell anyone, I promise, and I would love if the two of you met. But it’s okay if you are not ready yet, and—“</p><p>“No, Sirius, wait,” Remus interrupted him quickly, “I’m just...surprised, I guess. And a bit scared, to be honest. But it would be a pleasure.”</p><p>Sirius failed miserably to contain his enthusiasm at Remus’ answer, taking the other man’s hands on his own, “Thank you, love. I love you. There is nothing to be scared about, I promise.”</p><p>Remus nodded slightly and took a deep breath as Sirius reopened the door and motioned for Regulus to come inside. </p><p>The second he saw Regulus, Remus’ body visibly tensed all over and he bowed his head, hiding his face almost completely, before saying with a restrained voice, “It is an honor to meet your acquaintance, Your Highness.”</p><p>However, Regulus just smiled lightly and offered the other man his right hand for a handshake, “You can call me Regulus. It is nice to meet you.”</p><p>Remus’ head shot up so fast that he must have gotten dizzy, and he stared at Regulus disbelievingly for a moment before quickly accepting the hand, “It is nice to meet you, too,...Regulus.”</p><p>Sirius chuckled to himself as he looked at the blushing man and vividly remembered Remus’ cautiousness and hesitation to call him by his first name when they first met. He must have dazed off, though, because the next thing Sirius heard was Regulus clearing his throat and awkwardly bouncing from one foot to the other.</p><p>“I think I will leave you two alone, then.”</p><p>Sirius turned to look at Regulus again and his heart swelled with a feeling of pride of the man his younger brother was becoming, “Thank you, Reg. For everything.”</p><p>“Just be careful, alright?” was his only answer as he looked attentively to the couple, “The both of you.”</p><p>Remus and Sirius both nodded, hands now clasped together, and with that Regulus turned around and left, closing the door swiftly behind him.</p><p>They both silently stared at the closed door for a moment, until...</p><p>“I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life.”</p><p>A loud, contagious laugh left Sirius’ throat at Remus’ statement and he had to gasp for breath, feeling as if a hundred pounds had suddenly been lifted off his shoulders.</p><p>Remus sent him what was supposed to be a warning glare, but the vivid red on his cheeks ruined the effect and only made Sirius crack even more, doubling over from the force of it, which eventually made Remus join in the laughter too. </p><p>Once they had both calmed down enough to breath properly, they walked over to the bed and laid down again. Sirius’ fingers began to trace the faint lines on Remus’ arms at the same time that Remus reached his hand to Sirius’ dark hair. </p><p>“I’m glad I met him, love.”</p><p>That declaration alone made Sirius so happy he thought he was going to explode from it, “Me too, love.”</p><p>Sirius moved a little to snuggle closer to Remus in order to give him a kiss on the cheek, which made him accidentally brush one of his feet against the other man’s leg.</p><p>“Did you know you have really soft feet?”</p><p>Sirius looked up at that, amusement suddenly dancing in his eyes at the random statement, “Is that so?”</p><p>Remus hummed softly, a sweet smile on his face, “You do. They almost feel like pads.”</p><p>“Or maybe it’s just you that have rough feet,” Sirius answer him teasingly.</p><p>A fake outraged gasp came out of Remus’ mouth at that, “That’s absurd, I’ll have you know. You just have really smooth feet. It’s something unique, like a superpower. </p><p>“A superpower, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah. I should start calling you...”</p><p>Sirius watched as the other man put his fingers on his chin and made a funny thinking gesture for some moments before smiling brightly at him, “Padfoot. That’s your new nickname.”</p><p>Remus was looking at him with such excitement and expectation as he waited for Sirius’ reaction.</p><p>“I actually like it. It’s sweet.”</p><p>The smile that appeared on Remus’ face was worth everything, Sirius thought as he leaned over and pecked the man on the lips. </p><p>“But if I’m going to have a cute nickname, you need one, too. Let me think.”</p><p>Sirius mimicked the gesture that Remus had made before and concentrated on finding a good nickname, something that would suit Remus, that would represent him. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t difficult at all, and not even a minute later he found himself grinning triumphantly.</p><p>“Moony.”</p><p>“Moony?”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s perfect for you.”</p><p>Only when he noticed Remus staring at him as if waiting for something did Sirius realize he had to explain the meaning of it, and he immediately felt a blush rise to his cheeks.</p><p>“Erm...You know what? It’s rather silly, really, I can think of a better one—“</p><p>“Oh, no, no, no,” Remus interrupted him quickly, shaking his head, “You won’t get away from it now, love. Tell me.”</p><p>Sirius sighed in defeat, his face growing hotter by second, “Well...The night I first kissed you...I wasn’t planning to do it, you know? I had no idea you felt the same way and I certainly didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But it was like I didn’t have control over my body at that moment and, when I realized, I was already kissing you. Do you know why?”</p><p>Remus, who was staring at his eyes like his life depended on it, managed to briefly shake his head, and Sirius took that as a sign to continue talking.</p><p>“Remus, you already are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but under the moonlight, you look...almost ethereal. It‘s like you were born to be underneath it. A-and I know you don’t like your scars very much, but I still think they’re beautiful. They’re a part of your story, and the moon kind of makes them shine, like they’re shining just for me.”</p><p>At that point, Sirius was no longer holding eye contact, and he thought he was going to combust at any second from the embarrassment he was feeling. However, slim fingers grabbed his chin and gently lifted his head, and he found a pair of amber eyes staring lovingly at him. </p><p>“I love it, Sirius. I really do.”</p><p>He let out a relieved sigh and grinned, although he could still feel his face burning, “Yeah?”</p><p>Remus just chuckled and nodded before pressing their foreheads together, “Yes, Padfoot.” </p><p>Sirius giggled softly, which made Remus look at him like he was the most adorable thing in the entire world, “Okay, Moony.”</p><p>They snuggled closer again and tried to sleep. However, the minutes passed and Sirius still hadn’t been able to completely relax, as one specific thing was haunting his mind and keeping him wide awake.</p><p>“Remus?” he called after some time, hoping he wasn’t waking the other man up.</p><p>“Yeah?” the answer came immediately.</p><p>“I want to tell James about us tomorrow.”</p><p>Much to his relief, Remus gave him a small smile, “I think it’s a good idea. I want to tell Lily, too, just not tomorrow, I think. I just don’t know what her reaction will be.”</p><p>Sirius hummed thoughtfully for a moment, “Do you trust her?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Then that’s all that matters.”</p><p>Remus’ lips curved up in a small grin and he buried his face in Sirius’ bare chest to try to hide his goofy expression, although with little success, “When did you become so wise, huh?”</p><p>“When a man called Remus Lupin changed my life.”</p><p>And with that, they shared one more loving kiss and quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms, finally surrendering to the tiredness and their only observers being the moon and the stars.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The next day, Sirius woke up to find a small note on the side of the bed where Remus had been the day before. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and took the note in his hands.</p><p>“Hey, love,</p><p>You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you. I had to go back to my bedroom and get ready for work, otherwise I would be late. I will see you again soon. I love you.</p><p>Always yours, Moony.</p><p>Ps: Good luck with James!”</p><p>Sirius smiled to himself as he read the letter and examined Remus’ sloppy handwriting. Then, purposefully ignoring the desperate pleadings his heart was making, he took one last look at it and threw it on the fireplace. He couldn’t risk someone walking into the bedroom and discovering the note, even if their names weren’t on it.</p><p>After lighting up the fire and watching Remus’ loving words burn into ashes, Sirius finally glanced at the clock. It was still early, barely 8 AM, so he could probably still catch James in his room if he hurried up. </p><p>Sirius quickly grabbed some decent clothes and put them on, not even bothering to ease down the wild mess that was his hair at that moment. His heart was thumping frantically at the expectation of revealing everything to James, his brother in everything but blood. </p><p>A part of him was extremely excited, of course. Him and James used to have no secrets, they were and had always been each other’s confidents. He desperately wanted to tell James all about Remus and annoy him with unnecessary details of their love life just like the other man talked about him and Lily. </p><p>However, another part of him was terrified. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if James didn’t take the news well. Would their relationship as brothers change? Would James distance himself from him? </p><p>He was so caught up on his fear that he didn’t even pay attention to the path in front of him, his feet automatically walking through the course that he had made several times during years. But of course that was a recipe for an accident so, about two minutes later, just as he was approaching his destination, he fell his forehead aggressively bump against something very solid.</p><p>“Ow!” </p><p>Sirius recognized the voice immediately and his head shot up to look at no one other than James, face frowned in pain and right hand rubbing circles on the side of his head. </p><p>“Damn it, Sirius, did you forget you have eyes?” the man complained in an annoyed voice.</p><p>“And you say I am the drama queen.”</p><p>That certainly put a grin on James’ face, who quickly forgot about the pain and shoved Sirius’ shoulder in a friendly way, “That you are, my friend, that you are.”</p><p>James looked like he was about to excuse himself and continue his way to work when Sirius started shifting from one foot to the other, clearly nervous and hesitant. </p><p>“Something the matter, Sirius?” he asked as he eyed him quizzically.</p><p>“Huh? Oh, no, no, don’t worry. But could we...umm...do you have a minute before you go to work? I wanted to talk to you.”</p><p>James’ eyes immediately filled themselves with concern and he quickly nodded, “Of course, let’s go to my bedroom, yeah?”</p><p>Sirius agreed silently and followed him through the narrow corridor until they reached a door by the end of the hall, the words ‘OFFICER JAMES POTTER’ written on it. He waited as James opened the door and invited him in before stepping into the cozy room. </p><p>As soon as the door closed behind them, Sirius wished he had never said anything. His nerves were beginning to take the better of him, his forehead and palms starting to sweat despite the rather cool weather. </p><p>“What is it, Sirius?” James’ gentle voice reached his eyes again, managing to calm him down enough so he could take a deep breath and lift his head so their eyes met.</p><p>“James, I need to tell you something.”</p><p>The small frown between James’ eyebrows deepened considerably at Sirius’ tone, “Okay?”</p><p>Sirius audibly swallowed to try and wet his throat a little at the same time that his hands began to pull at his hair, a nervous habit that very few people in the world knew he had. James, of course, was one of them. </p><p>“James, I...I...”</p><p>A pair of hands suddenly appeared on his shoulder and gently led him to sit on the edge of the average sized bed located in the middle of the room. </p><p>“Sirius, you know you can tell me anything, right?”</p><p>“Of course I do. I’m just...really nervous.”</p><p>James’ eyes warmed up instantly and he let a small smile reach his lips, “Whatever it is, I promise I’m here for you, and it won’t change a thing.”</p><p>‘It won’t chance a thing.’</p><p>‘It won’t change a thing.’</p><p>‘It won’t change a thing.’</p><p>Sirius stayed quiet for a few moments as the words, that were echoing like a mantra in his head, gave him the courage he needed. James loved him, he was his brother, and absolutely nothing would change that. </p><p>“I am in love with someone,” the sentence left his mouth before he could even process what he was saying, eyes widening soon after. </p><p>However, to his great shock and confusion, James simply grinned brightly and threw a fist up in the air like a celebration, “I was right!”</p><p>Sirius stared at him blankly for a second before seeming to regain control of himself, “I’m sorry, what?!”</p><p>But James just let out a loud laugh at that and shook his head in mock disappointment, “Oh, Sirius, you should give me more credit, you know? I mean, I do know you like the palm of my hand.”</p><p>“But...How...What...YOU KNEW?!”</p><p>“I didn’t know, per see,” James told him shrugging, “I just assumed.”</p><p>“But how?” </p><p>The perplex look on Sirius’ face must have done something to James, because the man soon wiped the silly grin of his features and replaced it with a calmer expression. </p><p>“I told you, I just know you really well. I guess I kind of sensed something had changed, you know? I felt you were different, a good different.”</p><p>Sirius nodded slowly as all that new information settled in his already overwhelmed brain. He must have spent too long thinking, though, because he suddenly heard James clean his throat. </p><p>“So...Are you going to tell me who it is?”</p><p>The air caught up on Sirius’ throat at the imminent question and he shut his eyes tightly, finally telling him out loud, “James...it’s not a woman.”</p><p>Seconds seemed to last forever as Sirius held his breath, both arms crossed protectively around his torso, and waited for a reaction. He completely missed the way James’ eyes widened a bit in shock at first as he understood the meaning of the words, and also the way comprehension dove into them not even two seconds later. </p><p>Then suddenly, Sirius was being squeezed in a powerful hug, and he took a few seconds to realize what was happening. </p><p>Sirius felt the air that he had been holding immediately leave his lungs, the burning pressure in his chest disappearing almost completely. He managed to change positions a little bit and return the hug just as tightly. </p><p>“God, Sirius, I...You didn’t think I would judge you, did you?” James asked him, voice filled with worry as they stepped back.</p><p>“No,” Sirius vehemently shook his head and diverted his eyes from his friend in embarrassment, his whole face flushing, “I was just afraid it would change things.”</p><p>James looked like he didn’t know if he wanted to envelop his friend in his arms again or raise his fist and punch him in the face for his stupidity. </p><p>“Of course it doesn’t change anything, you great mutt! Why would it?”</p><p>But Sirius was saved from having to answer when James seemed to pick finally the first of the two options, the hugging one, and soon he found himself being smashed by James once again. </p><p>After a while, James broke the hug and looked into Sirius’ silver eyes, “Thank you for telling me.”</p><p>“Shut up, Potter, as if I would be able to keep it from your snoopy ass for much longer,” he retorted in a playful tone, although he was dangerously close to start wiping embarrassingly. </p><p>James began laughing loudly at that, so hard that tiny tears began to form in the corner of his eyes, and Sirius darted between trying to silence him and joining in on the hysteria. </p><p>“You didn’t tell me who it is, though,” James complained after a while, clearly trying to be subtle about it but failing miserably, since his curiosity was almost transparent.</p><p>“It’s Remus.”</p><p>Sirius surprised himself a little bit as the name jumped out of his lips with so much ease and instantly smiled. </p><p>“Wait, the guy who works at the kitchens with Lily? Her friend?” James asked him with a stunned look on his face and Sirius simply nodded in response. </p><p>“And are you two together?”</p><p>This time, Sirius would not have been able to hold the giant grin that spread and settled on his face even if he wanted to, “Yeah, we are. Don’t tell Lily, though! Remus wants to tell her himself.”</p><p>“Wow,” was the only sound James managed to blurt out before he seemed to get his shit together and smiled brightly at his best friend, “Well, if Lily is his friend, I’m sure he is a really nice fellow.”</p><p>Sirius chuckled softly at him and sighed dreamingly, “He’s amazing, James, he’s great. Really, you need to get to know him, I’m sure you will love him.”</p><p>“By the love of Minnie, you sound just like me,” James squirmed his nose like that mere fact was an utter absurd.</p><p>“Hey, first of all, don’t use Minnie’s name in vain. Second of all, serves you right for making me go through listening to you daydream about Lily nonstop for years.”</p><p>James opened his mouth to start protesting, but seemed to give up and simply shrugged, nodding to himself, “Fair enough.”</p><p>Sirius grinned broadly at him for a moment before his happy expression faltered a bit. He quickly tried to hide it, but of course James noticed it immediately.</p><p>“Something’s up,” James said that with a tone that left no room for arguments, it wasn’t even a question.</p><p>Sirius hesitated at first and looked like he was about to deny it anyway, but soon gave up and let out a long, suffering sigh, “I don’t know what to do, James.” </p><p>“About you and him?”</p><p>“About this Selection,” Sirius clarified, and he looked so exhausted that James began to wonder for how long that was weighting on him, “What am I going to do when I have to choose someone? I can’t delay it forever.”</p><p>Silence stretched for a while as both boys seemed lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, James looked steadily at his friend’s face again, and Sirius thought he had never looked so serious. That wasn’t the time for puns, though, and that much was clear on James’ eyes.</p><p>“Sirius, do you really love him?”</p><p>Sirius’ head began moving up and down urgently, almost desperately, “I do, James. So much it hurts.” </p><p>“Then fight for him.”</p><p>Before Sirius could even open his mouth to respond, though, James raised a hand and motioned for him to be quiet, “I know it’s not going to be easy, Sirius. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling like. But this is your life, no one else’s. You are the future King of this country, and you should have the right to choose anyone to marry. Don’t let your parents and some stupid, outdated tradition tell you what to do.”</p><p>Sirius stayed quiet for a while as he tried to process everything that his brother had said. When he remained speechless for too long, James spoke again, “And, Sirius, remember. You are not alone.”</p><p>That seemed to be the last drop and Sirius instantly broke down in front of James, heavy sobs leaving his body and pulling him to the ground. But as James kneeled next to him and he thought about Remus and Regulus, he knew that, no matter how hard things could get and how lost he could feel, he would never be alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Letters to You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>omg guys the fic is coming to an end😭😭😭 let me know what y’all think of this chapter :)❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During Sirius’ eighteen years of living, there were countless times when he would stop to wonder if there was some sort of force or entity (a God, like many people believed), that was greater and more powerful than everything else and controlled the world and all its living beings. He also wondered what the hell did he do to piss it off so much.</p><p>The day Sirius talked to James and told him everything, him and Remus didn’t get to have their usual night encounter at Sirius’ chambers. Remus had been too caught up in work till really late that night and Sirius had an early date planned. </p><p>The next morning, Sirius woke up at 8 AM and got ready for his date with Dorcas. He picked her up at her room and they took a pleasant walk by the gardens, talked about her home life, and then watched a movie later.</p><p>Despite Sirius’ constant wishing that he was actually with Remus during the entire time, Dorcas was a lovely girl and he really enjoyed her company, so everything actually went well and they had a really good time. </p><p>However, as if to confirm Sirius’ theory that he had been cursed by some evil being (possibly his mother) and was incapable of staying in a good mood for too long, his state of spirit was disturbed as soon as he stepped into his bedroom after the date had ended.</p><p>Standing in the middle of the room was Orion, golden crown framing his giant bald head in a way he probably thought looked respectable. Walburga hadn’t bothered to wait for Sirius’ permission and was sitting in the middle of his bed.</p><p>However, Sirius only noticed something was happening when he spotted Regulus next to the wall. The boy looked extremely uncomfortable, and Sirius saw something like sympathy in his eyes when he raised his head to look back at him.</p><p>“Great, you are here!”</p><p>Walburga’s voice echoed through the room as soon as Sirius closed the door behind him, and his eyebrows frowned in confusion as he saw the satisfied look on her face.</p><p>‘Regulus looking like he wants to disappear and mother looking like it’s the best day of her life,’ the thought crossed his head, ‘No good can come from this.’</p><p>Unfortunately, he was right. He proceeded to take off his shoes and put them inside the wardrobe, his eyes never leaving his mother.</p><p>“What is going on?”</p><p>“You see, Sirius,” it was his father who talked this time, looking intently at him, “Your mother and I were discussing, and we both agreed that this Selection is progressing quite...slowly.”</p><p>Sirius’ eyes immediately widened and his heart quickened as he tried to come up to reasons why Orion was starting that speech, but none of them were good. A terrible feeling started to grow at Sirius’ gut and he glanced at Regulus once again, only to see his brother looking even more distraught. </p><p>“So, she gave me an incredible idea. Really, I don’t know how we didn’t think of it sooner. But it doesn’t matter now. The thing is, we came here as a family to announce you of the decision we made.”</p><p>Sirius’ began diverting his eyes from his father to his mother, the sickness he was feeling growing by every passing second. No. He couldn’t possibly mean...</p><p>But Sirius’ greatest fear was confirmed when Walburga stood up and looked at him. Her eyes were gelid as usual, but something about that moment made him shiver like never before. </p><p>“We are giving you three women to choose from between those fifteen, the ones that seem more...adequate to fulfill the role of queen and that will provide us the best status and advantages. You have ten days to choose. We are announcing the end of The Selection by the end of the next week.”</p><p>The air caught up in Sirius’ lungs and he could no longer breath. He felt his knees give in beneath him and he ungraciously fell to the floor. He barely registered Regulus running and reaching towards him before his mother abruptly pushed him back to the wall. </p><p>His thoughts immediately traveled to Remus and to so many of their moments together, all the secret kisses, touches and love making. He wondered what the other man would be doing at that moment, oblivious to how the world had just began to crash around them.</p><p>Then suddenly, Sirius’ mind recalled the conversation he’d had with James the day before. </p><p>‘Fight for him. This is your life, no one else’s. Don’t let your parents and some stupid, outdated tradition tell you what to do.’</p><p>“No.”</p><p>The word left his mouth so calmly that, for a second, Sirius didn’t even realize he had been the one who said it. The looks on his parents’ faces were enough to clarify that, though.</p><p>“No?” Walburga was practically fuming, and Sirius could swear her face was becoming slightly red from fury.</p><p>Determined not to show any signs of weakness anymore, Sirius immediately stood up and raised his chin, staring defiantly at the woman.</p><p>“This is absurd, mother!” </p><p>“I don’t care about what you think, Sirius Orion Black! I am thinking about the future of this country, your future, and I—“</p><p>“Don’t you dare!” Sirius interrupted her with a firm voice, surprising everyone in the room, “Don’t you dare say that you are thinking about my future or what is best for Illéa when you are only thinking about you and your bigoted prejudiced values!”</p><p>That was apparently a little over the top since the next moment all Sirius could feel was a painful warmth spreading through his left cheek. He heard Regulus gasp, but he himself didn’t let out a single noise. </p><p>“What is wrong with you?!” his mother shouted after retrieving her hand, “Why are you like this?! Why can’t you just do your job and accept it?!”</p><p>“Because I am already in love with someone else!”</p><p>Sirius wanted to take the words back as soon as spoke them, but it was too late. He noticed by the corner of his vision Regulus’ expression shift into one of pure surprise and terror, and assumed his own wasn’t much different.</p><p>His parents, on the other hand, were looking at him as if he was an alien who happened to have fallen on Earth and got stuck with them. They were looking at him like they couldn’t believe he was actually their son. </p><p>Well, he had said it. There was no going back now. </p><p>A few moments passed and no one said anything, the atmosphere in the room so tense that Sirius was sure any knife could cut it. He was almost losing his mind from the expectation of what was about to come when his mother turned her head and looked at Regulus. </p><p>“Did you know about this?” her tone was calm but murderous, and Sirius panicked as he saw his brother look at him, then to his mother again, and then open his mouth to answer.</p><p>“No, mother,” Sirius spoke quickly before Regulus could say anything, “He didn’t. I hadn’t told anyone.”</p><p>Regulus’ head shot to him so fast that Sirius barely saw it moving, and Sirius tried to pass everything he wanted to say through one single look, ‘Don’t tell her, Reg. There is no reason why you should be in trouble, too. Don’t say anything.’</p><p>Sirius knew he succeeded at that as he saw the clear hesitation in his brother’s eyes, and thankfully Walburga decided it was time for Regulus to leave. </p><p>“Regulus, get out of the room.”</p><p>“Mother, I—“</p><p>“Now!”</p><p>Sirius watched as Regulus nodded at her with a defeated look on his face before turning around and obeying, silently closing the door behind him.</p><p>As soon as she saw the door closing, Walburga turned to look at Sirius again.</p><p>“I thought I had made it clear before, but it appears I had not. Very well...”</p><p>Sirius watched with horror as the woman slowly strode over to Sirius’ nightstand. ‘Please don’t open the top drawer, please don’t open the top drawer, please don’t open the top drawer.’</p><p>His mother reached her hand to the top drawer of the nightstand and opened it, her eyes immediately widening as she took a look at its content, and Sirius braced himself for the outburst that he knew was about to come.</p><p>He saw as she picked up the opened box of condoms and the bottle of lube that he and Remus had used two nights before, and her hands were shaking from anger as she swung them in the air in front of him.</p><p>“I thought you told us you hadn’t brought any of those women to your bed. Who have you been fucking in here, Sirius Black? WHO?”</p><p>Sirius flinched as she yelled at his face, but didn’t answer. It was definitely not a good ideia to correct her and tell he had actually been the one being fucked, not the one doing the fucking. He just remained quiet and watched as she dropped the items on top of his bed and looked inside the drawer again.</p><p>A few seconds later, she seemed to find what she was looking for and showed it to him triumphantly. Sirius felt his stomach drop even more. It was his chambers’ key.</p><p>“You won’t tell me who it is. Fair enough. This is what I am going to do, then,” she closed the drawer and marched towards the door, taking the key with her, “You will stay in this bedroom until you decide to behave like a proper Black.”</p><p>“WHAT? You want to lock me in here?!”</p><p>“Yes, and I will. Until you decide to start doing as you are told, you will not leave this room. In case you manage to open the door in any way, two guards will be placed right outside to hold you in here. This is the list with the names you can choose from,” she then handed him a small paper with her tidy calligraphy scattered on the paper. </p><p>“Mother, please! Don’t do this, please!” Sirius all but begged on his knees, no longer trying to hide his desperation. Actually, he wouldn’t be able to even if he tried. </p><p>However, the woman gave him no attention and stepped out of the bedroom, “Let me know when you decide to collaborate.” </p><p>And with that, she left and marched through the corridor with long, fast steps. Sirius waited until he couldn’t hear them anymore before turning to his father.</p><p>“Father, please, I—“</p><p>Orion turned around in the middle of Sirius’ sentence, though, and the sound of the door being shut forcefully interrupted his pleadings.</p><p>Sirius stared at the wooden door for what felt like hours until he couldn’t hold his tears anymore, breaking down crying and sobbing for the second time in less than 48 hours. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The paper Walburga had given Sirius hadn’t even been read before the man furiously wrinkled it and threw it on the fireplace. He had been laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for who knew how long until his chambers’ door was carefully opened.</p><p>“Sirius?”</p><p>The voice startled him and he sat up with a jump, relief feeling him as he looked to the right and found no one other than James standing there, a tray with food and water in his hands and expression filled with concern.</p><p>“Oh, James, thank the heavens it’s you!”</p><p>Sirius watched as the man immediately placed the tray on top of his writing desk and strode over in big, fast steps to where he sat on the bed. </p><p>However, as soon as James approached Sirius and took a proper closer look at him, the worry on his face increased even more, if that was possible, and he immediately pulled his friend into a tight hug. </p><p>At first, Sirius frowned his forehead in confusion, but soon remember that he had spent the last hours bawling his eyes out, so his face was probably all red and swollen. He certainly looked terrible. </p><p>“I heard about what happened, Sirius,” James’ voice was charged with pain, and Sirius knew his friend was suffering for him almost as much as he himself was, “How are you doing?”</p><p>Sirius squeezed his lips together tightly and carefully avoided the question, “What time is it?”</p><p>“Nearly seven.”</p><p>“I’m surprised mother let you come here to ease my suffering,” Sirius told him with a humorless laugh.</p><p>James only managed a really sad half smile in return, “She almost didn’t. I think I made such a fool out of myself begging to come that she decided to allow it just for me to shut up.”</p><p>Sirius nodded quietly, not even finding the strength to make fun of James about that, and hid his face in his hands as he felt new tears begin to prickle at the corner of his eyes.</p><p>“What am I going to do, James?”</p><p>He didn’t even bother to wait for an answer, because he knew there was nothing to say at times like that. Instead, he felt James’ arms envelop him again from his side.</p><p>“Things will get better, Sirius. You are strong, you both are. It will be alright.”</p><p>Except neither of them knew if they really believed in that. </p><p>They both stayed there in silence for a while. James wanted nothing more than to be there for his brother and Sirius was so absorbed in his clouded thoughts that he almost forgot the other man was there. His heart clenched painfully as he once again recalled the words Remus had written for him on the small piece of paper that was now nothing more than ash and dust. </p><p>‘I will see you again soon.’</p><p>‘I will see you again soon...’</p><p>“SHIT!” </p><p>Sirius’ yell was so loud and he jumped to his feet so fast that he scared James, who looked up at him in shock and confusion, “What—?”</p><p>But Sirius interrupted him in utter panic, “James, I almost forgot! Remus was supposed to come here tonight, like he does almost every night! If the guards mother placed outside see him...”</p><p>Sirius watched as James’ eyes widened in horror at that prospect, but an ideia suddenly occurred to him just as the other man was beginning to say something, and Sirius didn’t hesitate in cutting him off.</p><p>“James, I need you to do something for me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was almost nine-thirty and Remus had just finished taking his shower, so he was preparing to meet Sirius at his chambers like he usually did. The moments with Sirius were by far the best part of Remus’ days, and he would constantly find himself glancing at the clock to check how much time until he could see him again.</p><p>Just as Remus put his trousers on, a series of low knocks echoed through the door. He frowned in confusion at first, since he was certain they had agreed on meeting at Sirius’ bedroom again, not his, but a smile reached his face almost immediately after anyway.</p><p>‘Maybe he wanted to surprise me,’ he thought as he moved to open the door.</p><p>However, Remus wasn’t greeted by the sight of the handsome, long haired man when he opened the door. Instead, a man with short dark hair and crooked glasses was standing in front of him.</p><p>“Officer Potter?” he asked in confusion, “Did something happen?”</p><p>“I am so sorry to bother you,” Officer Potter rushed to apologize and offered him a hand, “Call me James, please.”</p><p>Still extremely confused, Remus stepped to the side so the man could enter and gave the man a firm handshake.</p><p>“Remus.”</p><p>James’ expression changed a bit at that, lips curving into a small smile.</p><p>“Oh, I know who you are. I heard a lot about you, actually.”</p><p>That certainly caught Remus off guard, and he hesitated before answering. He still hadn’t been able to talk to Sirius that day, so he didn’t know how their conversation had gone, or if it had even happened at all.</p><p>“From Lily, I suppose?” Remus asked tentatively after clearing his throat.</p><p>“Some of it from her, yes. But also from Sirius.”</p><p>Remus just stood there for a few seconds while his brain processed the information and then a giant smile crossed his face. Later, he thought about how he should have noticed right then that something was wrong, because although the man didn’t look angry ou disgusted, he also didn’t look happy. </p><p>But that didn’t cross his mind at that moment, though, and he just stared happily at the other man, “He told you, then?”</p><p>However, the sudden shift in James’ expression at the question was enough to inform Remus that he was definitely missing something. </p><p>“James? What happened?”</p><p>The only thing he got as an answer, though, was a carefully folded piece of paper that James retrieved from the front pocket of his uniform. </p><p>“Here,” he told Remus as he handed it to him, “This is from him.”</p><p>Remus’ mind instantly stopped functioning  at the ‘this is from him’ and he grabbed the paper in a desperate move before walking towards his bed and opening it. </p><p>He didn’t even hear as James excused himself and exited the room, closing the door behind him. Remus quickly unfolded the paper and was greeted by Sirius’ messy handwriting, the same he had seen on the other man’s notebook when they had talked about his future plans for Illéa.</p><p>Taking a deep breath and trying to keep his hands from shaking, he scanned his eyes through the words.</p><p>“Dear Moony,</p><p>If you are reading this, then everything went right and you got the letter, so there’s something I need to tell you. </p><p>She knows, Moony. My mother knows that I have been seeing someone, and she knows that it’s not one of the selected women. But don’t worry, because I would rather throw myself out of the window than tell her that the person I love is you. I promise you that.</p><p>I panicked, and I am so sorry. I came to my room and my parents were here. They told me I had less than two weeks to choose and then The Selection would be over. </p><p>Therefore, me and my big mouth told mother that wouldn’t be happening, because someone else already owns my heart. Stupid, I know. But now that I think about it again, I realize that I don’t regret it, I really don’t. Because I would do the impossible to be with you. </p><p>She locked me in my room and I can’t get out. I don’t know what is going to happen, love. I don’t know what to do, and I have no idea when I will be able to see you again. But please know that I love you, and that I won’t give up on you. On us. </p><p>Forever yours,</p><p>Padfoot.”</p><p>Remus didn’t know in which part of the letter he had started crying, but by the end of it his body was shaking from the force of his heavy sobs. Tears streamed down his face as Remus clutched the small paper to his chest and over his now shattered heart, as if Sirius would be somehow closer to him if he did so.</p><p>He didn’t hear the sound of the door opening, nor the careful footsteps that approached his bed, but he soon felt a pair of small arms hugging him from his side, guiding his head to rest on a comforting shoulder, a hand caressing his hair as he continued crying heavily. It was Lily.</p><p>“Lily?” he managed to ask through his sobs and sharp intakes of breath.</p><p>“It’s me, Rem, it’s me.”</p><p>An eternity passed until Remus finally lifted his head and looked at Lily, and he found her staring at him with so much concern in her eyes that his heart clenched even more. </p><p>That was when he realized he couldn’t keep everything from her any longer , and when he opened his mouth, it all came out like an avalanche. He told her everything. He told her about how he had been smitten with Sirius from the start and how his feelings quickly grew into love. About the development of their relationship. About how he was the luckiest man in the world that Sirius felt the same way. And then he showed her the letter.</p><p>Lily looked shocked but didn’t ask any questions, she knew it wasn’t the moment for that. She just listened to everything he had to say, held him and whispered words of comfort in his ear as he struggled to breathe.</p><p>Sirius had been right, after all. Remus trusted his friend, and that was all that mattered. </p><p>Eventually, when Remus had calmed down enough to start breathing properly, he locked eyes with Lily. They were filled with gratitude, but a very specific question was also vivid there.</p><p>“James passed by my room and told me you would probably need a friendly shoulder,” she explained before he even opened his mouth to ask, and stayed silent for a while before adding, “Also, I heard you crying.”</p><p>Remus normally would have been embarrassed to know that he was crying so loudly that someone had been able to hear it from another room, but that was the least important thing to worry about. </p><p>“Lily, is James still in your room?”</p><p>“Yeah, he is, why?”</p><p>“I need to write him back.”</p><p>Understanding immediately crossed Lily’s face and she didn’t waist a second before running towards the door.</p><p>“I will get him!”</p><p>Remus then walked over to where he kept a small notebook which he used whenever he needed to write something down and swiftly ripped a page from it. He picked up a pen and started to write.</p><p>“Dear Padfoot,</p><p>I got your letter, and I have to say that I highly disagree with you. What you did wasn’t stupid. It was the bravest thing I have ever heard of, and I am so proud of you. </p><p>No one can know the future, Pads, but what I know for certain is that I love you and you love me, and that is all I really need to know. </p><p>Regardless of when we’ll see each other again and no matter what happens next, I will be here, waiting for you. I am willing to grab you and fly us to the moon if that’s what it takes to keep you happy and safe. </p><p>I will see you soon, love. </p><p>Only and forever yours, </p><p>Moony.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. A Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius had never been more miserable in his life, and that was definitely saying something.</p><p>Since Walburga had decided to lock him inside his own damn bedroom, Sirius had only seen James twice. On the first time, he’d given the other man a letter and asked him to give it to Remus. On the next day, James had showed up very early in the morning, holding a tray with Sirius’ breakfast and the response from Remus carefully hidden bellow the plate.</p><p>It was the day after that, when his friend stopped coming, that Sirius naturally assumed that his dear mother’s brief period of clemency had ended and she wouldn’t let him see James again anytime soon. </p><p>In the morning of the seventh day of his private incarceration, Sirius woke up with a jump at the sound of his mother’s high pitched voice reaching his sensitive ears. He didn’t know it yet, but that would be the morning that changed his entire life completely. Forever. </p><p>“Get up, it’s almost 9 o’clock already! Do you even know how to do anything other than sleep?”</p><p>Sirius suppressed a grimace and let out a tired sigh as he rolled over to look at Walburga, who stood in the middle of his bedroom. </p><p>He wasn’t surprised to find her there, of course, since that woman seemed to ignore all sense of manners when it came to him, including the precious art of knocking.</p><p>“Good morning to you too, mother. You look lovely today. To what do I owe you the pleasure of your company?”</p><p>Walburga narrowed her eyes at Sirius’ tone, “Don’t start playing your little games with me, Sirius Black. I am fed up with you already.”</p><p>Sirius opened his mouth to argue and say that she had been fed up with him since he was just a little child, but seemed to think it was best to stay silent and not cause anymore trouble than necessary.</p><p>Seeming to calm down a bit after the lack of confrontation, Walburga turned around and slowly walked towards the small sofa next to the wall. Once comfortable, she didn’t waist a second before going straight to the subject.</p><p>“I came to see if you have made your decision.” </p><p>Sirius couldn’t hold on a sarcastic laugh at that. It was quite funny, actually. There he was, being held prisoner by his own mother until he chose a woman to marry, but he didn’t even know what the options were. The paper containing the three names had been long burned.</p><p>“And why do you think my answer will be any different than the one I gave you before?”</p><p>“Because even someone with a head as thick as yours can be smart enough to know not to mess with me,” she answered, and the danger in her tone was as clear as the sun outside, “You only have three days now, Sirius, you know that.”</p><p>“And what are you going to do about it, mother?” he got up from the bed and raised his chin, trying to look defiant despite his crimped pijamas and messy hair, “Choose someone yourself, drag me down the aisle and then tie me up as the cerimonial marries me?”</p><p>Sirius almost turned around and ran out of the bedroom as he finished that sentence, afraid that Walburga would finally lose it an choke him with her bare hands. </p><p>“I will do whatever it takes, and I swear to God that I will—“</p><p>However, whatever threats that were going to be thrown at him were suddenly interrupted by the loudest noise Sirius had ever heard, an explosion so loud that the ground trembled and he had to place a hand on the wall to steady himself. Not even two seconds after that, the gunshots started. </p><p>“What was that?!” a squeak gained Sirius’ attention and he looked to his side to find his mother standing up, and at that moment he could have sworn that was the first time he ever saw fear in those soulless eyes. </p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>They didn’t have to wait to find out, because on the next moment Sirius’ bedroom door was bursted opened without any knocks for the second time in less than ten minutes. </p><p>That time, though, it was the two officers in charge of guarding Sirius’ chambers that came in, and the panic was clear on their features.</p><p>“Your Majesty,” one of them stepped forward and turned to the queen,” It’s an attack. They’re here. They’re inside the palace.”</p><p>The air caught immediately up on Sirius’ throat and he almost forgot how to breathe. He had experienced many attacks to the palace during his life, but that was the first time the rebels managed to get pass the walls and gates.</p><p>“How the hell did they get inside?!” his mother demanded to know, face as pale as a ghost.</p><p>“We don’t know yet, Your Majesty. But we need to get you to the safe place, and now!”</p><p>It was at that moment that Sirius seemed to break out of the state of shock he was currently in. He saw, almost in slow motion, as one of the men moved towards him and reached his hand to grab his arm, definitely intending to drag him down to the royal family’s safe spot along with his mother, his father and Regulus.</p><p>However, just as the hand was about to close around his upper arm, Sirius swiftly dodged from the man’s grasp, one thought set firmly on his stubborn mind. In a matter of mere seconds, he looked at his mother one more time, then turned around and ran. </p><p>“Sirius! SIRIUS!” </p><p>Her desperate yells reached his ears as he distanced himself and made a turn into one of the corridors, but that didn’t slow him down. Sirius would be damned if he was going to go anywhere without his Remus. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first thing Remus noticed when he stepped into the kitchen that morning for work was that he was late. Again. </p><p>Remus was a very hard working and professional young man, who took his job at the palace extremely seriously (and siriusly, as well), but his sleeping and eating habits had basically fallen apart on the last few days.</p><p>And as if that wasn’t enough already, he would spend his entire free time crying and worrying over Sirius, who he hadn’t received any news from in a week. Summing it all up, Remus was beyond exhausted.</p><p>The second thing Remus noticed was that Peter wasn’t there. Frowning in confusion at his friend’s absence, he strode over to where Lily stood washing some dishes. </p><p>“Good morning, Lils. Where’s Peter?”</p><p>“Good morning,” she greeted him with a small smile before shrugging and darting her eyes back to the sink, “I don’t know, actually. He hasn’t shown up today. We can pass by his bedroom later and see if he is ill or something.”</p><p>Remus nodded in agreement and proceeded to grab some dirty plates, immediately beginning to scrub and turn them as shiny as they could possibly be. After all, they worked in a palace, and a work done poorly would not be accepted.</p><p>“How are you doing, Re?” she asked him a minute later, and Remus turned to his right only to find a pair of eyes looking at him with a mixture of worry and pity that made him want to let out an exasperated sigh.</p><p>It was the pity that bothered him the most, really, because he knew he looked as terrible as he felt and couldn’t blame Lily for her concern. </p><p>“As fine as I can be, I guess,” Remus tried to sound as casual as possible, but he couldn’t even fool a fly, much less Lily.</p><p>He was right, of course, because he saw from the corner of his eye as her eyebrows furrowed even more, not even a bit satisfied by his answer, but thankfully she didn’t press on the subject much more. </p><p>Silence fell between them for a few minutes after that, the sound of the water falling and some other coworkers making small talk the only things to be heard.</p><p>However, despite the quiet atmosphere, Remus’ mind didn’t let him rest for even a second. He had been so worried that he had even considered risking everything and bursting to Sirius’ chambers just to see if he was alright. </p><p>“I just miss him so much, Lily,” the words came out of Remus’ mouth like a sob and he quickly moved his hands to cover his mouth, but not before Lily heard it.</p><p>“Oh, Remus,” she instantly dropped the dishes and moved closer, pulling him into a comforting embrace, “I know you do.”</p><p>They stayed like that for a while until Remus stepped away and tried to subtly wipe his red face with his sleeves. Needless to say, it wasn’t subtle at all. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he apologized looking down at his feet, his cheeks heating from embarrassment and adding even more color to them.</p><p>“Remus John Lupin, you have nothing to apologize for! You say that one more time and I promise I will make you regret it, young man!”</p><p>That successfully got a genuine laugh from Remus, the first one in a whole week, and Lily smiled triumphantly up at him.</p><p>“Well, I’m not crazy enough to mess with you, am I?”</p><p>“I hope not.”</p><p>Yeah, Remus really loved that girl. He definitely understood why James has been in love with her for so long. </p><p>He was just about to hug her one more time and suggest they headed back to work when it suddenly began. </p><p>Plates and cups shattered on the floor, people lost their balance and fell on top of the pieces of broken glass. The noise was so loud that it disoriented Remus, and he looked in confusion at the door when it was abruptly bursted open, revealing a tall man in an officer’s uniform.</p><p>“It’s another attack! The rebels are inside the palace, so it’s not safe to take any of you to the safe place. Stay here, don’t get out under any circumstances!” </p><p>And with that, the man turned around and ran outside, leaving complete caos behind him. It took a while to Remus’ brain to process what was going on, but when it did, it was like living a deja-vu. A really terrifying one.</p><p>However, even as almost everyone in the kitchen started to scream, run and push each other around in desperation to hide, to live, Remus could only focus on one thing. He kept remembering what Lily had told him weeks ago while they hid behind a supply closet. </p><p>‘They want to take down the royal family.’</p><p>Sirius.</p><p>Completely ignoring the guard’s warnings, Remus began to make space through the caos and moved towards the exit.</p><p>“Remus, wait!” Lily’s small fingers closed around his wrist before he could leave, “What are you doing?!”</p><p>“I have to go, Lily!” he shouted so desperately that her eyes widened in surprise, “I have to find Sirius! They will kill him!” </p><p>Without waiting for a response, Remus swiftly freed his hand and ran out of the room. Apart from a lot of officers running around, the corridors were empty, and Remus immediately went in the direction of Sirius’ chambers. </p><p>At that moment, he didn’t give a damn if someone found out about them. He just needed to make sure Sirius was safe. </p><p>The kitchen was far from Sirius’ bedroom, so Remus made sure his feet were carrying him as fast as they could. He got to the second floor only a few minutes later, and was about to go up to the third when his heart made a loop and he stopped dead on his tracks. </p><p>Turning around a corridor a few meters away from Remus and running like their lives depended on it (which they probably did), was Sirius. He was still wearing his pijamas, his hair was a total mess and he was barefoot. He also looked completely terrified, which made Remus’ heart ache in his chest.</p><p>“Sirius!”</p><p>Remus watched as the man stopped at the sound of his voice and turned his head to where he stood. Sirius’ eyes widened and the next thing Remus knew they were throwing their arms around each other, crying, laughing and sobbing, all at the same time.</p><p>“Remus, I missed you so much!” Sirius eventually managed to say.</p><p>“I missed you too, love! I was so worried about you!”</p><p>“Don’t be,” Sirius told him, although his eyes were puffy from crying and he had dark shadows underneath them, “I’m okay. Now that you’re here, I’m okay.”</p><p>They smiled at each other and Remus didn’t waist any time before pulling him in for a passionate kiss. As they stood there, with their arms around each other and their mouths locked together, Remus felt like he could finally breathe again. God, he had missed that man. </p><p>The kiss lasted way less than any of them wanted it to, because Remus’ mind suddenly began to function properly again and he pulled away in a hurry, trying to ignore the pout in Sirius’ lips as he did so.</p><p>“Sirius, you have to get out of here! You’re in danger!”</p><p>The other shook his head fervently at that, “No! I won’t leave you again!”</p><p>“You have to go, Sirius! Please! They will kill you!”</p><p>Sirius started to shake his head again, ready to refuse, when a determined look crossed his eyes, “Come with me, then.”</p><p>“You know I can’t. I—“</p><p>“Sirius, what the hell are you doing here?!”  a voice interrupted Remus and the two men looked to their side to see James looking at them with desperation, clearly shocked at seeing his best friend standing there in the middle of the hallway, with nothing to protect him, “You have to go hide!”</p><p>“I can’t leave him, James! I just can’t!”</p><p>James opened his mouth to protest again, but he must have noticed that Sirius wouldn’t budge, because he almost immediately closed it and let out a defeated sigh. His eyes lit up only a second later, though.</p><p>“I can take you to the secret passage. You two can stay there with Frank and Alice.”</p><p>“Brilliant, James!” Sirius’ smile was so bright that Remus had to resist the urge to grab him by his shirt and snog him senseless right there. Boy, he really wanted to do that.</p><p>However, the joy didn’t last very long. Remus suddenly caught a movement from the corner of his eye and his blood ran cold when he turned to look at it. </p><p>Two men wearing identical clothes were standing near the end of the hall, and they had two big guns pointed directly at them. More precisely, they were pointed directly at...</p><p>“Sirius, watch out!”</p><p>Remus moved without thinking twice and time seemed to slow down almost to a stop as he leaped in Sirius’ direction and pushed him out of the way. The next second, all he could feel was...</p><p>Pain. </p><p>“REMUS!”</p><p>Remus fell on the ground with a loud thud as intense pain threatened to consume him. It all happened so fast that Remus had to take a moment to orient himself and open his eyes, letting out a horrified gasp as he did so.</p><p>Blood was already pouring out from a hole on his shoulder and another one on his stomach, painting his clothes in dark red. He saw as three guards, who had appeared like angels out of nowhere, ran towards the rebels and tackled them to the ground.</p><p>But the only thing he could really focus on was the image of Sirius kneeling besides him, his usually beautiful and carefree face twisted in agony as desperate tears left his eyes like waterfalls.</p><p>“REMUS!” Sirius was shouting desperately at him while trying to stop the bleedings, “No, no, NO! Why did you do that?! Please, God, not him!”</p><p>“Sirius...”</p><p>Remus was shocked to hear his voice sounding so weak and powerless, but he threw that thought away as Sirius’ eyes met his own.</p><p>“Sirius...I...love...you.”</p><p>“No, don’t you dare! Don’t you DARE, Remus Lupin! Stop saying that like this is a goodbye! You are NOT dying on me!”</p><p>Sirius’ sobs were wracking his whole body at that point, so loud that Remus thought everyone in the palace would be able to hear him even with the explosions still going on. </p><p>“Sirius...listen...to me,” Remus’ breath was becoming more and more shallow as the seconds gone by, “You...need to...get out of...here.”</p><p>“NO! I won’t leave you, Remus! Hold on, okay? You’re going to be alright!”</p><p>With that, Sirius moved his eyes to one of the wounds again and proceeded to make pressure on it, making Remus let out a painful howl.</p><p>“I’m sorry, love,” Sirius whispered in his ear between sobs, “I know it hurts, but we have to stop the bleeding.”</p><p>“No...you have...to go...please, Sirius.”</p><p>Remus could feel his strength leaving his body like water on a sieve, and he needed to know that Sirius was going to be safe. He needed to know that Sirius was going to live. </p><p>Just as he said that, Remus noticed a tall figure lower itself to kneel next to Sirius. It was James. He had completely forgotten James was there. </p><p>“Sirius, he can’t stay here much longer. I will take him and look for Madame Pomfrey, okay?” James’ voice was calm, probably for Sirius’ sake, but his face made it clear that he was far from it.</p><p>“I will go with you.”</p><p>“No, Sirius, you won’t! You have to go hide, you were almost killed just two minutes ago!”</p><p>Remus saw as Sirius opened his mouth to protest again but called him before he had the chance to say anything. </p><p>“Sirius.”</p><p>“Yes, love, I’m right here,” he answered and grabbed Remus’ now cold hands between his own. </p><p>Then, Remus used the last bit of the strength he had left to tug Sirius down by his collar, and pressed a kiss to the man’s lips. As he savored the so familiar taste of Sirius’ mouth, Remus wondered if that was going to be their last kiss.</p><p>“Promise me...you are going to...live.”</p><p>“I am going to live, and so are you! We will get married, have a wonderful life and grow old together, okay? Do you hear me?”</p><p>A smile appeared on Remus’ face as he heard those words and, for a brief instant, he forgot all about the pain as his heart swelled. A life with Sirius Black. That was all that he wanted. </p><p>But the moment passed like a blink of an eye as two of the three officers that had appeared approached them and turned to Sirius.</p><p>“We have to get you to a safe place, Your Highness.”</p><p>Remus felt the tears begin to cripple at the back of his eyes. He probably wouldn’t get a life with Sirius Black, but he would make damn sure that Sirius Black had a life. Even if it meant a life without him.</p><p>With one weak squeeze to Sirius’ soft hands, Remus looked right at those silver eyes that he fell in love with and whispered one more time. </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Then, he looked up at James and gave him a small nod. Luckily, the man immediately understood, took him in his arms and began to take him away.</p><p>“Wait, WAIT! REMUS!”</p><p>Remus could do nothing but watch as the love of his life struggled to get away from the two men’s hold, yelling, crying, kicking and calling for him. </p><p>And then, everything went black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t believe next chapter is already the last one!! This fic has been my baby for the last few months and I’m going to miss it so much!! I hope y’all liked the chapter and see you next friday!! ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. My Choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here it goes, the last chapter! I wanted to thank everyone that supported this fic (which is really special to me) and wrote me such amazing comments!! You guys make the total difference!! I’m gonna miss writing and posting it❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is incredible how life can change in a heartbeat. How everything is okay on one moment and, before you know it, your whole world falls apart right before your eyes.</p><p>It was impossible for Sirius to describe how he felt when Remus got shot. No words could be strong enough to tell what it was like to see the man he loved being carried away from him. And as Sirius saw those amber eyes closing, eyes that used to look at him with so much life in them, it was like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and stepped on it. </p><p>The explosions were too strong and the rebels were everywhere, so the guards hadn’t been able to take Sirius to the royal family’s safe place. Instead, they had taken him to a small hidden room on the second floor, barely big enough for one person to sit comfortably.</p><p>The attack lasted for hours, and each minute of them was unbearable. Sirius cried so much during that time that he was actually surprised there was any water left on his body. </p><p>And as he sat there on the dusty floor, waiting for the attack to be over and bawling his eyes out, he wondered if the universe would be cruel enough to take his Remus from him like that.</p><p>About five hours had passed and Sirius was sitting with his head between his knees when he suddenly heard the sound of the door being opened.</p><p>“Sirius?”</p><p>He lifted his head and leaped to his feet  in the speed of light, almost jumping in relief as he saw James standing there in front of him. </p><p>“James!”</p><p>The man was covered in dust from head to toe and he looked utterly exhausted, but it was clear that his expression lightened a bit as he saw Sirius.</p><p>“Thank the heavens you’re okay, Sirius. I came here as soon as it was safe.”</p><p>Sirius had other matters in mind, though, and immediately grabbed James’ shoulders with urgency, “James, where is Remus?”</p><p>“He’s in the hospital wing.”</p><p>Without even bothering to answer, Sirius passed by the other man and began running in the direction of the infirmary. However, James called him back before he could go very far.</p><p>“Sirius, wait!”</p><p>Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned around, confusion written on his face, “What’s wrong?”</p><p>He watched as James hesitated slightly before finally letting out a sad sigh and beginning to respond.</p><p>“Poppy said he lost a lot of blood, Sirius. He’s not awake yet and she said she doesn’t know...when he will wake up.”</p><p>Sirius felt his knees weaken beneath him and he would have fallen if it wasn’t for James’ hands reaching out to him and keeping him up. His breathing became more labored and he felt his vision begin to blur, panic filling his whole body once again.</p><p>James had covered that up pretty well, but Sirius still had managed to notice the small hesitation before the ‘when’, making it seem like other man had changed Pomfrey’s words. Which could only mean...</p><p>Madame Pomfrey didn’t know ‘if’ Remus would wake up again.</p><p>Sirius had no idea how much time had passed before he finally came back to his senses and noticed that James was saying something to him, while still supporting most of his weight. </p><p>“...took him to surgery as soon as she could, Sirius. Now you need to have faith. You need to be strong, for the both of you.”</p><p>“I need to go, James,” he spoke after forcefully swallowing the lump in his throat, “I need to be there with him.”</p><p>However, instead of agreeing with him, James opened his mouth hesitantly again, and Sirius was surprised to see the sadness in his eyes intensify even more.</p><p>“What? What is it?”</p><p>Another sigh escaped James’s lips and he looked at Sirius like he had turned into a porcelain doll that was about to break at any moment. </p><p>“Go to your bedroom. There’s something you need to know first.”</p><p>Sirius stared at him for a moment before nodding, forehead frowned in confusion, and strode over to his chambers as fast as he could. His mind didn’t even register all of the destruction around him as he wondered what could be so important that it had to be done before he even went to see Remus.</p><p>But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared him for what he found as he opened the door.</p><p>Regulus. His younger brother was sitting on his bed, hugging one of his pillows and sobbing loudly into his hands.</p><p>“Regulus?!”</p><p>The boy looked up at the sound of his voice and Sirius’ breath got caught up on his throat. Regulus’ face was bright red from crying and his eyes...Sirius had never seen so much pain in those eyes before.</p><p>Before he could even process what was going on, Regulus got up from the bed and threw himself at Sirius’ arms.</p><p>“They’re dead, Sirius!” the boy yelled between heavy sobs, face hidden on the crook of Sirius’ neck, “They’re dead!” </p><p>“What?! Who?!”</p><p>“Mother and father! We were going to the safe place but two rebels appeared out of nowhere and...they shot them, Sirius! And I had to leave them there!”</p><p>A whirlwind of emotions passed through Sirius as a new round of sobs recked Regulus’s body. The word ‘dead’ echoed in his head, hunting him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sirius. I know they weren’t good people, specially to you, and I—“</p><p>“Stop it, Reg,” Sirius spoke firmly and moved his hands to his brother’s face, tilting his head up, “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. They were your parents. You have the right to mourn.” </p><p>And with that, Sirius pulled Regulus into a tight embrace. The two brothers stayed like that for a while, both trying to find some comfort in the other’s arms, and at some point, though he didn’t know exactly when, Sirius finally let himself grieve too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Sirius’ voice. That was the only thing that Remus remembered between the moment he passed out in James’ arms and the time he woke up in the hospital wing, two whole days later.</p><p>After the incident that had almost cost him his life, Remus had fallen into a weird and uncertain state between consciousness and unconsciousness. Most of the time, it was like he was living in a dreamless sleep, trapped inside a deep coma and oblivious to the world around him. </p><p>However, that changed every time that Sirius sat next to his bed and talked to him. Remus had no ideia how that happened, but it was always like the sound of the other man’s voice stirred something deep within him and brought his mind closer to the surface. He couldn’t move a single muscle in his body, but he could hear everything.</p><p>Remus listened as Sirius cried over his body whenever they were alone at the infirmary, begging him not to leave him. He heard Sirius telling him how much he loved him and wanted to spend the rest of his life by his side. And all of that gave Remus the strength to fight for his life. For their life together.</p><p>It was a slightly cold morning when Remus finally woke up, dizzy and disoriented, and the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, after blinking to get used to the light coming through the curtains, was him. </p><p>Sirius.</p><p>The man was sitting on a chair near the end of the bed, staring out of the window and appearing lost in thought. He looked slightly more pale than Remus remembered, and he was definitely a bit thinner, but he was still so beautiful that Remus’ heart ached.</p><p>“Am I dreaming?”</p><p>Despite his fragile state, Remus almost laughed at they way Sirius practically jumped out of the chair and looked at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“REMUS!”</p><p>The next second, Remus had his arms full of a mixture between a laughing and crying Sirius Black, although the man made sure to be careful and not press at any of the still recent wounds. </p><p>“Hey, love,” Remus laughed sweetly at the boy and moved his arms to wrap them around Sirius as best as he could, “I missed you.”</p><p>Sirius lifted his head from where it was buried on his chest and looked right at his eyes, so intensely it was overwhelming.</p><p>Then, in a swift move, Sirius moved his face even closer and closed the rest of the distance between them, claiming Remus’ lips in a desperate kiss. </p><p>They kissed like there was no tomorrow, like one of them was the air and the other was gasping for breath. The tears made the kiss too wet, there was too much teeth and their position was awkward, but none of that mattered. It was still perfect, and neither of them wanted to let go.</p><p>“I thought I had lost you, Rem,” Sirius said once they broke the kiss, and he sounded so pained that Remus’ heart cracked a little, “You were unconscious for two days, I was so scared.”</p><p>“Look at me, love,” Remus demanded gently, moving his hands to cup the other man’s wet cheeks, “I’m here. I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”</p><p>Remus felt his own lips forming a blinding smile as Sirius beamed at him, “I love you so much. But never pull a stunt like that again, do you hear me?”</p><p>A laughter immediately escaped Remus’ lips, but he soon turned serious again, “I would do anything to save you.”</p><p>They were about to start kissing again when the infirmary door was suddenly opened, and Remus turned to his side to find no one other than Madame Pomfrey.</p><p>“Mr. Lupin, you are awake! Oh, thank the heavens! I am so sorry for the interruption, I—“</p><p>“It’s no problem at all, Poppy,” Sirius smiled easily at her.</p><p>“I will come back later to check on you, Mr. Lupin, is that okay?”</p><p>Remus nodded and grinned at her with gratitude, “That’s perfect, thank you, Madame Pomfrey.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to thank me for, dear. I am so glad to see you are alright,” she gave him a sweet smile before turning to Sirius one more time, “If you’ll excuse me, Your Majesty.”</p><p>Sirius opened his mouth and answered her something, but Remus wasn’t paying any attention anymore. His mind was too caught up on what Pomfrey had just said.</p><p>“Your...Majesty?”</p><p>His confusion was replaced by worry as he saw Sirius’ expression instantly falling. </p><p>“Mother and father, they...they didn’t survive the attack.”</p><p>Remus let out a sharp gasp at that and just stared at Sirius for a moment while his head processed the information. He hadn’t even stopped to think about how weird it was that Sirius wasn’t hiding to meet him, but that certainly explained it.</p><p>“Sirius, I’m so sorry—,” he began to say, but the other man quickly interrupted him.</p><p>“I’m okay. They were terrible, you know that.”</p><p>“Still. They were your parents. It’s okay not to be okay.”</p><p>A sad smile reached Sirius’ lips and he moved both of his hands to grab Remus’, “Thank you, love.”</p><p>Remus squeezed Sirius’ hands in a comforting way before opening his arms, “Come here.”</p><p>Sirius didn’t hesitate to oblige. However, it didn’t take long for Remus to realize that he seemed tense, like something was still bothering him.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay, Pads? You know you can talk to me, right? About anything.”</p><p>He felt Sirius smile at their sweet nickname, but was caught by surprise as the other man suddenly sat up.</p><p>“I’m okay, Moony, I promise,” it was Remus’ to show a goofy grin at the nickname, “I just...There’s something you need to know.”</p><p>“About what? What happened?”</p><p>Sirius hesitated for a few moments, looking down and seeming lost in thought, until he eventually spoke again.</p><p>“The rebels had someone infiltrated in the palace. That’s how they got in. Their infiltrated man killed three of our guards and then let the other rebels inside.”</p><p>“That’s horrible,” Remus almost yelled in outrage and had to suppress a horrified shiver, “I can’t believe someone would do that. Do you already know who it was?”</p><p>Not even the painful look Sirius gave him was enough to cushion the impact, “It was Peter Pettigrew. The guards arrested him before he could escape.”</p><p>Remus just stared unblinkingly at Sirius for a while. That couldn’t be right. There had to be some mistake. Peter would never. </p><p>But then...</p><p>He thought back to when Peter showed up at the palace. It had been right after the failure of the previous attack. Also, Peter mysteriously hadn’t shown up to work on the morning the second attack began.</p><p>Everything made sense, it all fit in. Peter was a rebel. He had betrayed all of them.</p><p>Sirius was still observing him worriedly, waiting for him to say something. Remus had told him about Peter, the chubby boy that started working with him and Lily and soon became their friend.</p><p>“I...I just can’t believe it was him,” Remus eventually manage to blurt out.</p><p>“I know. For what you told me about him, he seemed like a good guy.”</p><p>“That’s what I thought. I guess that I was wrong.”</p><p>“Hey,” Sirius’ tone suddenly changed for a more determinate one, as well as his expression, “I know this head of yours, and I know you will try to find someway to blame yourself for what happened, so I’m going to save you the trouble. Don’t even bother trying to do that.”</p><p>Remus sighed in defeat, “I just think I should have noticed something.”</p><p>“There is no way you could have noticed something, Remus,” Sirius shook his head firmly, “He was just a normal guy.”</p><p>“I know, you’re right.”</p><p>“I am always right,” he replied with a smug grin, trying to lighten up the mood a little.</p><p>“And quite humble, too,” Remus teased Sirius slightly, earning a laugh from the man.</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>They both smiled, lost in each other’s eyes until Sirius laid down again, pulling Remus into his arms, who sighed appreciatively as Sirius’ fingers began to massage his scalp.</p><p>They fell into a peaceful silence for some minutes, and Remus was about to drift off, his still weak body begging for some sleep, when Sirius suddenly spoke again.</p><p>“Moony?”</p><p>“Yeah, Pads?”</p><p>“There’s something I need to ask you. It’s important.”</p><p>Remus’ eyebrows crinkled a bit but he nodded in encouragement for him to keep going, so Sirius closed his eyelids, took a calming breath and then stared right at Remus’ amber eyes.</p><p>“I probably shouldn’t be doing this right now. You just woke up, we are still at the hospital wing and I didn’t even prepare a speech, but, Remus...when I thought I might lose you, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I have no idea what I would have done if you never woke up. And now that you’re with me again, in my arms, I...I can’t wait any longer.”</p><p>Remus’ forehead frowned even more in confusion at Sirius’ words and he began to worry again as new tears began to shine in the man’s eyes, but Sirius kept on talking before he could even think of what to say.</p><p>“I knew you were special from the day you told me about your mother, and you proved that to me every single day since then. You taught me so much about the world, about life, and about love. I never thought I would be lucky enough to find someone to love so irrevocably and that would love me just as much in return, but then you came into my life, and I will forever thank my stars for that.”</p><p>Remus felt ready to pass out at any moment, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from that gorgeous man sitting there and pouring his heart out for him.</p><p>It was only when Sirius got too emotional and had to stop for a moment to clear his throat that Remus realized he himself was crying too.</p><p>“I know that you come from a completely different world than mine, but that doesn’t matter to me,” Sirius continued after a second, “You are everything that I want. When this Selection started, I thought that I would have to choose a woman to be my wife. But I don’t choose any of them. You are my choice, and you always will be.”</p><p>Sirius was looking at him like he hung the moon in the sky, and Remus’ throat suddenly didn’t have enough space for the air to pass through. Was Sirius doing what he thought he was doing? Was he...?</p><p>“Remus John Lupin, I want to share my life with you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my prince?”</p><p>Remus’ mind was almost short circuiting and his heart was racing as Sirius finished talking.</p><p>‘That’s it, then’ Remus thought, ‘I’m dead. I actually died and this is an after life prank or something.’</p><p>It was the nervous but full of expectation look on Sirius’ face as he waited for an answer that got Remus out of his stupor. It was real. It was happening. </p><p>“Yes! Oh my God, Sirius, of course yes!”</p><p>What came next was a sequence of tears, laughter, sniffs and more wet, messy kisses, but Remus couldn’t care less. He had never felt so happy and so in love.</p><p>“Sirius Black,” Remus managed to say once they had calmed down a little bit, “It’s a difficult task to have a bigger heart than yours, but I promise you, I love you with all of mine.”</p><p>And with that, he pulled Sirius in his arms with all the force he could muster and locked their lips once again. They kissed for what could have been seconds, minutes, hours or even days. Who was counting, anyway?</p><p>It was Remus who broke the kiss first, making Sirius whine dramatically at the loss.</p><p>“I just thought of something.”</p><p>Sirius eyed him quizzically, “What?”</p><p>“There has never been an homosexual couple in royalty before. How are we going to do it? I mean, we can’t have an heir.”</p><p>Remus had expected Sirius to be equally worried as him, but was surprised to see a faint blush rise on the other man’s cheeks.</p><p>“You see,” Sirius started to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment, “I kind of already talked to Regulus about it.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p>“I asked him about it, and he told me it would be an honor to have his future kids on the line to the throne.”</p><p>Remus smiled brightly at the man in front of him, feeling his heart swell, “So you had been thinking about it already, huh? You hopeless romantic.”</p><p>His grin grew even more as Sirius broke down in laughter, and that combined with the red on his cheeks and the hair falling down his face made him look...well, Remus didn’t even have words for how Sirius Black looked. </p><p>However, there was one thing that was still bothering Remus, refusing to leave the depths of his mind.</p><p>“Sirius?”</p><p>“Yeah, love?”</p><p>“How do you think the people will react? You know, to the fact that I’m a Six and a man.”</p><p>But Sirius simply smiled again and reached his hand to rub a stripe of hair out of Remus’ eye. </p><p>“Some traditions are meant to be broken. I think it’s time we break these ones, don’t you think?”</p><p>Remus couldn’t agree more.</p><p>And if Madame Pomfrey purposefully took some extra time to come back to the infirmary, she never told them. When she returned, both boys were already fast asleep on the small hospital bed. </p><p>They didn’t get up for a long time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>      EPILOGUE (Three Months Later...)</p><p> </p><p>“Are you nervous?”</p><p>Sirius threw an annoyed look at his best friend at the question.</p><p>“Of course not, James, it’s just the coronation day, why the hell would I be nervous?” he replied sarcastically.</p><p>James laughed with amusement as Sirius opened the curtains and glanced down (nervously) at the garden, where almost all of the guests were already waiting for them. </p><p>Sirius’ eyes were instantly drawn to the area reserved for the former selected women and, for a moment, his heart clenched painfully in his chest as he spotted one specific empty seat. </p><p>Marlene’s.</p><p>Marlene McKinnon had been tragically killed during the attack, three months earlier. One of the palace’s support columns had collapsed because of an explosion, and Marlene sacrificed herself pushing a servant’s child out of the way. She died as a hero.</p><p>The door was suddenly opened, interrupting Sirius’ thoughts, and he turned around to find Lily walking towards him. </p><p>“How are you holding up, Sirius?”</p><p>“He’s freaking out!,” it was James who answered in his place.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>James ignored Sirius’ indignant exclamation and bursted out laughing again, but Lily just rolled her eyes at him and then smiled fondly at Sirius.</p><p>“Well, you are not the only one. Remus is just as terrified as you are, if not even more.”</p><p>A bright grin spread on Sirius’ face at the mention of the other man, “Is he ready yet?”</p><p>“He was just finishing up adjusting his tie, so I came over here to check on you.”</p><p>“Thank you, Lils,” he looked at her with gratitude before directing his eyes straight to her stomach, “How is my godson doing? Are you enjoying making your mummy look big, Harry?”</p><p>“I’m just three months pregnant, Sirius,” Lily answered with another eye roll, “My ‘baby tummy’ isn’t even showing yet.”</p><p>“If you say so,” he threw her a teasing smirk, gaining a playful (but rather hard) slap in response, “Anyway, I think it’s so good that he is going to have someone his age to play with.”</p><p>“It’s wonderful, right?,” James beamed at him and intertwined his fingers with Lily’s.</p><p>“Alice thinks that little Neville is going to be born around the same time as Harry,” Lily announced excitedly, “Imagine if it happens on the same day!”</p><p>Sirius was about to answer her when the three of them heard the door being opened again. It was Regulus who came in this time, and his eyes were shining as he looked at Sirius.</p><p>“It’s time, brother.”</p><p>Some weird, excited noise came out of Lily’s throat and she immediately ran towards the door, “I’m going to go get Remus!”</p><p>Regulus stepped aside so she could pass and then turned to Sirius one more time, “Whenever you are ready.”</p><p>Sirius took a moment to himself, closed his eyes and took some deep, calming breaths. When he opened them again, it was to find both James and Regulus standing near the door, and he nodded to let them know he was ready.</p><p>James lips curved into one of the biggest smiles Sirius had ever seen on his friend’s face, “Let’s go meet your man.”</p><p>The three of them left Sirius’ chambers and made their way to the first floor, where he would wait for Remus. They had just gotten there when Sirius suddenly turned to James.</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>“What? What is it?” James asked in alarm.</p><p>“How does my hair look?”</p><p>His friend just stared at him for a few seconds and seemed about to come up with some amused and sarcastic answer when something seemed to catch his attention.</p><p>“I’m sure you will forget all about your hair when you turn around.”</p><p>Sirius’ forehead frowned at the smirk on James’ face, but he turned around anyway and...</p><p>He didn’t just forget about his hair. He forgot how to breathe. </p><p>Already near the bottom of the staircase, with Lily by his side, was Remus. He was wearing a light blue suit, made specially for the occasion, which matched Sirius’ own dark blue suit and highlighted his amber eyes.</p><p>Sirius’ heart was thumping wildly as Remus finally approached him. Standing close to him like he was now, Sirius could see that Remus’ eyes were shining with happiness, and he figured his own weren’t much different.</p><p>Both boys barely noticed as James, Lily and Regulus patted their backs, wished good luck and went to their places for the cerimony, all with matching smiles on their faces. </p><p>“Remus, you...you look...”</p><p>Remus giggled at his dumbstruck face and Sirius almost melted right there. He was so blessed to have that man in his life.</p><p>“You don’t look too bad yourself, Your Majesty,” Remus said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.</p><p>“Shut up!” Sirius exclaimed with mock outrage, but the effect was completely destroyed by the giggle that left his mouth right after that.</p><p>It was worth it, though, just to see Remus’ already beaming smile grow even more on his face. </p><p>Outside the big door that led to the gardens, Sirius heard the sound of the palace’s bell starting to ring. It was time. </p><p>He took one more deep breath and offered Remus his arm, who immediately took it.</p><p>“Are you ready, my Prince?”</p><p>“I’m ready. Are you, my King?”</p><p>“Hell yeah.”</p><p>He really was. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. They would have to work hard to make the world a better place, and a lot of obstacles would appear on their path. But they would face them all, together.</p><p>As it turned out, although in a different and completely unexpected way, The Selection did bring him love. It brought him Remus, and Sirius could wish for nothing more.</p><p> </p><p>‘He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.’<br/>~Wuthering Heights</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>